A snowstorm is expected in the GTA (Greater Toronto Area) tomorrow. Aproximately 21 cm of snow expected. The roads will be treacherous and weather conditions dicey. Regardless, even if I have to do it in zero visibility, Sash will be in daycare! Doug is trying to cancel his meetings and we are thinking of postponing a dinner that we are (or maybe were) planning to cook for a couple of visiting fellows from Montreal/Quebec City (I forget). When I say we are cooking dinner, I mean me of course. Doug cant (wont) cook to save his life. Last night I asked him to do me a favour and stir fry some veggies as I had to write the conclusion for the paper. He looked at me like I had asked him to climb Mount Everest stark naked with a carrot up his arse. I told him for Gods sake, slice some onions, heat the oil, cut the veggies intio any shape you want, fry the onions, bung the veggies in, and leave for 2 minutes. How bloody difficult is that? He offered to order take out veggies. I pointed out to him that I cooked the chicken curry and the rice (OK, so the curry was Brahim add water and rice is cooked in rice cooker...but thats not the point...the point is I have a lazy ass husband who refuses to learn how to cook stir fried bok choy)so the least he could do was the veggies. After a few minutes of the deer in oncoming semi headlights look, I gave up and cooked the damn veggies myself. Why oh why couldnt I have hooked up with Jamie Oliver?? Why??

To make up for last night, Doug took charge of dinner tonight. He heated the Seafood Mediterranean chowder, on the stove even, and not in the bottle in the microwave, and put the sushi and sashimi pieces on a plate. We had hot chocolate for dessert. Cant complain I guess...the last time Doug made dinner we had slightly burned popcorn and cold apple pie. There is hope yet...

After reading this article in today's Globe and Mail, I finally decided to bite the bullet and buy a bunch of Bisphenol-A free, non Polycarbonate BornFree bottles from my favourite kiddy shop round the corner. It may all be media hype, but when there is even a slight mention of cancer risk, ADHD risk and other neural, reproductive and developmental problems, it is difficult to ignore. Also, being in academics, we know that whatever research is published in the popular media is probably rather dated and the tip of the Titanic iceberg. Both Doug and I have a family history of cancer, and while it is rather wrenching to buy new, and I must add rather pricey, bottles and sippy cups (whats up with that?? I thought less chemical were used. so shouldn't they be cheaper??), it is a small price to pay for peace of mind. I suppose it does not help that I have a (real) doctor brother in law with toddlers of his own and a father in law in pediatrics who have specifically warned us against warming up our plastic bottles in the microwave. They told us ages ago to warm her milk in glass containers then transfer the milk to her bottle. Since their warning, we have been doing this up til today, which I must admit is a bit of a bitch at 5.30 in the morning. Luckily the warning came pretty soon after Sasha switched to whole milk, which was when we started warming up her milk in her bottles in the microwave. Before that, we used water at room tempreture to mix her formula. Todays warning about bottles exposed to boiling water was I suppose the straw that broke the cheap camel's back. When I say wrenching, you have no idea to what extent. In my morbid fear of having to deal with colic, I used a variety of bottles from Avent, Dr Brown and Playtex inserts, in the hope that at least one of them will help prevent the dreaded sleep thief. I must add that in addition to variety, I bought in bulk as I hate doing dishes as much as the next person. Sasha of course did not get colic and I have a cupboard full of bottles (well, used to..I now have to learn to deal with only 4).


And did I mention all the sippy cups, both normal drip free and insulated ones with characters on them? So I also bought a non-leaching stainless steel sippy cup for Sash (in gender neutral green, so the bambino will be able to use it later). I now have to decide whether I should call a local Goodwill to ask whether they will accept these items as I hate to see them go to waste. Having said that, knowing that I dont find these bottles and cups safe enough for my own child, how can I in good conscience pass them on to another child? I discussed this with the proprietor of the kiddy shop and she mentioned that she donated them to Goodwill as many parents in TO cant even afford basic baby equipment such as bottles, what more the more expensive less toxic ones. I am still undecided about this and will have to discuss this with D, although I know he will not want to pass on unsafe items to any child. On the bright side, I can stick the bottle in the microwave tomorrow morning!

I have just finished vacuuming the house. Ok, technically only parts of the ground floor and the basement. Parts I can see. I decided in late 2007 that I am going to be less anal about the mess of a house. Whats the point? Doug dumps his running clothes everywhere else other than the 2 laundry baskets in the house (he can run for miles, but God forbid he has to walk 3 extra steps to the basket)and Sasha, well, you would think that by the age of 2 a human being would be able to put away toys in a color coordinated fashion...sigh...not as evolved unfortunately. So, there you go. To maintain my sanity, I will learn to live in filth. If my family cannot evolve, I will devolve to their level.

Doug and I are working on another paper, which is due 1 Feb, so yet again Sasha has been put on the back burner. She is usually the first to be sent to daycare, and the last to be picked up. You can just see the look of disapproval on J's face as she knows I don't work, I only have one kid at home (we haven't told her about the bub, although we will have to soon to book her space at daycare), and yet am the one parent most filled with glee (and relief) as I take about 3 seconds to dump Sash off. Of course after 2 weeks of being totally absorbed in hedge fund regulation, we sort of accidentally glance away from our laptop screens and finally notice Sash's glazed-TV overdosed-eyes and feel a sharp pang of guilt. So, yesterday, to assuage our guilt, we took an afternoon off to walk to a nearby educational toy store and bought her some crayons, a pad of coloured paper, a little magnetic chalk and dry erase board with colourful magnetic letters of the alphabet and numbers from Melissa and Doug (I love their toys!), and some glow in the dark stars for Sash's ceiling(she loves stars!). Sasha chose a couple of Dora books for herself. We then walked to a restaurant, Spring Rolls, for a late lunch. I have been meaning to try out the restaurant as my dry cleaners, who are originally Malaysian, mentioned that the resto is owned by a Malaysian. I tried their nasi goreng and was impressed. I usually don't bother ordering anything which is labelled Malaysian as I am usually inevitably sorely disappointed, but in this case, I will go back (or have them deliver) and try their other dishes. Their spring rolls..yummy. I am rather relieved to have found a more than half-decent pseudo Malaysian resto within walking distance as I have been craving and dreaming of Malaysian food. I swear, last night I dreamt of fried Kuey Teow. I know, I know, I have friends who suggest that I just cook the stuff. I know I can, as I have been raised to believe that I can do anything, but I just couldn't be buggered. Its like I know I can be an astronaut (well, other then the whole motion sickness and fear of being blown up to smithereens issue), but I just couldn't be buggered to go through the whole process. I will wait for space travel to be cheaper and less strenuous, just as I will wait for my fried kueh teow. After lunch, we walked home, installed Sash's stars, read her books, taught her the alphabets (I am still not sure which I prefer, to have her learn the alphabets first or learn to put away her toys) and introduced her to the potty. On advice from J, who will continue with the potty training when the time comes, we have a seat insert instead of a separate potty for her training sessions. This way she will not be afraid of the real adult sized toilet bowl. Her insert is lime green and has pictures of the characters from Backyardigans. Unfortunately, she freaked out initially as we placed her on the toilet. It may be she was just afraid of the whole new experience, or it may be she freaked out about putting her ass on Tyrone, Pablo and Tasha. We will never know. So we sat, all three and an eighth, in the toilet, reading her book and reassuring her that peeing is fun. After 10 minutes, she finally peed. Her first pee...we clapped and cheered like it was her bloody college convocation...and waited for her to poo. After another 10 minutes of nothing and endless cheering on, we thought of taking our laptops into the toilet as there is really a limit to how fun you can make a shitting experience fun. We decided instead to just call it a day, let Sasha hang out in the basement, and continue working.

I was just reading yet another article on fundamentalist terrorism in a newspaper and as is usually the case, the journo touched on this quest to get to endless numbers of virgins in heaven. I sometimes wonder why anyone would want to have an endless supply of virgins. I mean, let us assume these suicidal psychos are young, impressionable, unmarried (presumably virgin) young men. If it were me, instead of having inexperienced, novice virgins fulfil the dreams that I am staking my life on, I would probably want the most nasty arsed most expensive call girls heaven can come up with. Throw in a couple of porn stars and I will be golden. Makes me wonder if the eternity of fumbling will be their just deserts.

As I type this, I am waiting for the Malaysia Airlines reservation agent in New York, who I am speaking to over Skype, to fax me a confirmation for my miles redemption and email me my payment options for our flights from Kuala Lumpur to Langkawi in April. Ah, the wonders of being connected. It is taking longer than usual as I had totally forgotten that Sash will be visiting with her Tok and Nenek while we are in Langkawi (Thank you Tok and Nenek for agreeing to grandbaby-sit!)and went through the whole booking process for her seat. The agent must must have thought I was absolutely barmy as I exclaimed "Oh wait..no...I forgot..we are not dragging her along this time!".

I was re-reading Vet in Harness by James Herriot in bed last night. It made me crave for roast beef sandwiches at 11.40pm. As I read, I just had to share this passage with Doug.

"Anybody who has ever walked a dog knows the abiding satisfaction which comes from giving pleasure to a loved animal, and the sight of the little form trotting ahead of me lent a depth which had been missing before".

We both agreed that it brought to mind our walks with Sash.

I have just finished these three books. Read them concurrently. Funny, a week ago I didn't think I could fit in reading anything not related to work/VC/PE, but with just a bit of tweaking with Sasha's schedule, I can now read!! Not just occupational reading, but recreational reading. Yay. Let me explain.



Sash has issues with sleeping alone. Our fault of course as she used to sleep in our communal bed. Now she has her own bed, in her own room, and she no longer likes ours. But that doesn't mean she no longer likes sleeping with us. So we usually take turns putting her down. This used to be chore as it takes her ages to settle down. She will first want to drink a bottle of milk, then read a few books, then play with her lamp, then read some other books, ask for another bottle of milk (distractional request), then she will try and "sneak" out of the room (she is as yet unclear of the concept that even when she does not look at me, I can still see her). We used to have to lie down for an hour to 90 minutes with her in the dark, trying to stay awake, bored stiff and resenting the whole child rearing experience. Last week I figured that with the new kid coming along, things will have to change. So instead of lying down with her, I sit in the glider in her room and read while she settles down. She still sees this as a license to carry out the same sleep-avoiding tactics, but usually after the third time I pick her up screaming and shouting, dump her into bed and scream "DODO" (she is in a French daycare so we use some French baby-words), she gets the idea and drifts off to sleep. Mind you, we start this exercise at 9pm and she sleeps by 10.30pm, but this is much more tolerable with my being able to get in some reading.


I couldn't put Persepolis 1 and 2 down. Intriguing, enchanting, and it made me think. I think about the Iran that I know from the media,that I think I know. I think about the Malaysia that I know, and what is reflected in the media. Disturbing similarities. Both situations not even remotely comparable (yet), but any ghost of a similarity is disturbing enough. When a reference to the year 2000 came up in A Thousand Splendid Suns, it made me think about what I was doing on the days leading up to New Years Eve 2000. I was preocupied with what to wear to a party. The characters were starving. I sometimes wonder if my luck will run out..

It is quite obvious that Sasha is half-Canadian. She loves the snow. She loves stepping in it, playing with it, rolling around in it. Good thing she does as a favourite pastime of Wpg-ers is tobogganing. Instead of ordinary slides in park playgrounds, they have toboggan runs. These pics were taken by Sasha's Aunt K as her Daddy would not have missed the action for anything. I was at home, warm and cozy. Didn't see the need for the whole family to freeze.



Although it must be said that it is quite obvious that one specific family member actually enjoys being frozen....


I have been busy online checking on flights, hotels, resorts etc for a holiday (or rather a visit) in KL in April. We as a family have done this many times but this time FIL is tagging along. So it has become slightly more complicated. Due to his recent surgery we felt it best to travel together so we can help him along the way. So instead of flying from TO, we are flying out of North America via Vancouver. What was initially planned to be a direct flight has taken a slight turn as there is a conference he would like to attend in HK. He would also like to experience the Malaysian beaches his son raves about...but he is not really a beach-y person and not overly mobile so it cant be an island with nothing else to do but laze. He might also want to check out the night safari in Singapore. Did I mention that this is to be done over 2 weeks? I have come to the conclusion that I will never ever wish to be a travel agent.

So I am looking at Langkawi, or Penang. And I am quickly realizing that since I left KL in 2003, either Malaysians are becoming very rich or the resorts are now way beyond the reach of ordinary working folks. Seriously. I am not even looking at the Four Seasons. The nicer hotels on Feringhi Beach in Penang which I fondly remember during those girly summer breaks in Uni days are now in the four figure range. And you cant even swim in the sea water there. The nicer hotels on Langkawi also start in the four figure range. Some do have decent deals, but only for the cheapest (ie no view, next to karaoke lounge) rooms. Which leads me to think that a normal middle class family in KL could either save for a couple of years to have a nice holiday or settle for a run down 3 star and below hotel, like the back-packers do. A friend recommended that I just take my FIL to Bali or Phuket as it is cheaper and they also cater for Asians, and not only for Europeans/North Americans. But I cant, can I? He wants to see where his dot-in-law was raised, to meet her family. He wants to see where his grand-dot spends her time every year. He wants to experience what his son has experienced. Now, if I had been a Thai foot masseuse I would not have this problem...

Sasha Multi-tasking

This is for Sasha's Tok. To further elaborate Tok, this was how your grandaughter entertained herself at her Grandpa's house over the Christmas period...she multi-tasked

I have been a neglectful blogger. I have no excuse other than being an excellent procrastinator. It is said procrastination is the thief of time. How true that is. Already it is mid-January and I cant say that I have done or achieved anything of note. I have my to do list somewhere, andI have been meaning to look for it..but you know, the whole procrastinating thing I mentioned earlier..

I should add though that I suspect that my mind has turned to mush because I am preggers again. Yup, as they say, the Sperminator has struck again. Unlike the first time around, it is taking a bit more time for us to let this news really sink in. We are happy that we are preggers, and we have been planning to provide Sash a sibling, but I think it is becoming more obvious that our lives will change yet again, just as we were finally settling down from the upheaval of Sash's babyhood. I know, I know, we had it pretty easy and I am the first to admit that I am an ungrateful little drama queen for making a mountain out of a mole hill, considering Sash was, and still is, an easy going, happy baby. But to be honest, I do find the whole baby rearing period just alot of work with no reward as in my experience, a baby is essentially a blobs who eats, poos and keep you up all night. I much prefer the toddler stage, when they can understand your instructions, and they can at least contribute to the conversation, even though it takes me 5 minutes to understand what Sash is saying. I suppose though to achieve this more entertaining toddler, we as parents must endure the babyhood. So, I suppose I should warn you dear reader that if you are expecting the whole "I love being pregnant, motherhood is the end all and be all of my life and babies are miracles" type of blog for the next few months, you will be sorely dissapointed. I hate being pregnant, I think motherhood is a chore, and babies are messy..and I will be venting. I hope this next one is a girl though as I have no idea what to do with Sash's old clothes if a boy pops out.

So now I have to find that to do list to add one more note...to find an Ob/Gyn that is accepting new patients, within walking distance or within walking distance of a subway station, and one who will not stop me from flying after my fifth month.