When given lemons, make limencello..

So last Saturday, at the Milan Central Train Station, on our way to St.Gallen, my diaper bag was stolen. I had set it down to check the car number and with all the confusion, rush we must have left it on the platform while we were loading 2 suitcases, 2 hand-luggages, a stroller and 2 kids. I realized I didn’t have it a couple of minutes as the train was about to leave and it was a mad scramble to get off the train as not only were Dylan’s milk, diapers and Sash’s sippy cup was in the bag, but also our passports, my wallet, camera and phone. We immediately cancelled the credit card that was in my wallet and sought help from the police. We realized the chances of getting our stuff back was close to nil when within 15 minutes of us being in the station, 3 other people walked in with the same problem. D worked with the police to make the report while I sat in the lobby feeling absolutely sick, nauseous even. I would have succumbed to tears but for Sasha asking me what was wrong.. I knew I had to be strong for the kids. We had told Sasha what had happened and while we wanted her to know what was happening, we didn’t want to scare her. After the report was made, we checked into a hotel near the station. They must get a lot of families in trouble as they immediately allowed us to check in without our passports and gave us an emergency family suite for an extremely reasonable price. We were given the addresses for both the Malaysian and Canadian embassies but after looking for them in vain, we realised that the Canadian consulate had closed down 2 years ago and the Malaysian consulate cannot issue emergency travel certs. So we headed out to Rome the next morning. I was still feeling like I was living a nightmare, even on the train going out and I kept pinching myself, hoping to wake up. Doug , in the meantime was an absolute rock star, reminding me that they were only passports and that the kids were safe, and it could have been much worse. He also took charge in Rome, getting things sorted out at the embassies and not once reminding me that I was in charge of the passports. He was of course very affected by the theft and kept an eagle eye on the kids as we were made aware of how we have been taking risks with the kids’ safety. We spent the mornings at the embassies but the afternoons were spent showing the sights to Sasha and Dylan. Sash and Doug had a Daddy –Daughter walk up and down the Spanish steps, I showed her how to throw a coin into the Trevi fountain to ensure a return visit, we had loads of aranciatas the many piazzas, and a gelato break at the Pantheon. Doug and I even took the kids to the hotel where we had our first dirty weekend way back in June 2004 (round the corner from the Trevi fountain), almost to the day. On Wednesday, we decided to walk to St Peter's Basilicca. We joined a queue as we thought it was the ticket line. We realised after a few minutes that everyone else had tickets and were about to leave when I decided to ask what they were lining up for. They were there for the Pope's mass as it was St Jean Baptiste day, apparently a big Catolic holiday. Then a lady gave us tickets and so we ended up in some seats waiting for the Pope for 2 hours. We were also told during our wait that our passports were ready. So at the age of 10 months and 3 years, Dylan and Sasha have attended a mass given by the Pope at the Vatican. Funny how fate intervenes I guess. We were dealt a horrible hand with the theft, but we were able to spend a few days in Rome, with 2 healthy kids, almost to the day of our first visit together. I now know that D is an absolute rock in times of crises and that the kids are so very resilient. I took Sash to the Prada mothership here in Milan to help me get another wallet and she chose a red one. She said “Mummy, your red wallet was stolen by Swiper so you should get another red one.” The saleslady agreed that this was logical. When given lemons, we make limencello.

We leave Milan in a couple of days. Sasha, because we had her Canadian citizenship card with us, was issued a new passport in one day by the embassy. She was travelling under her US passport but that didn’t matter. D and Dylan have been issued 2 year temporary passports. In my case, the Malaysian embassy in Rome cannot issue passports but they can issue emergency travel certificates, which I was told is not recognized by Canada. When I was told this I asked what my options were..the officer suggested we fly back to KL. Instead of telling him to bugger off I had to explain that we could not afford to spend 10,000 dollars just to get my passport reissued…what the hell is the point of embassies anyway? He again said that he could only issue the certificate. He asked if I had another citizenship I could revert to ie he was fishing to see if I had Canadian or US citizenship. I wanted to tell him that if I had those would I bloody be at his embassy considering the US embassy issues new passports in one hour and the Canadian one within the day. I told him to issue the apparently useless cert and I would sort it out with the Canadian side. We went back to the Canadians and they issued an entry visa within the hour in view of our emergency situation and in view of my being married to a Canadian. In our visits to the embassy over the few days we were in Rome, we met many other people in the same situation. One lady said that when she walked round the corner and saw the Canadian flag, she almost wept. She had her bag stolen in Milan too. I can relate…the next time I have to deal with a Malaysian embassy I will probably weep too.

Milano Summer

D reached home in record time. He drove home at 150km/h with another conference presenter O who had to also catch a 6pm flight to Boston. He was planning to catch a bus from Kingston but it would have been cutting it very close. So we had enough time to have a nice pizza lunch alfresco before the taxi arrived. O has a very young daughter, he also works in the area of VC and his marriage is also bi-racial. So much in common but he is knee deep in the quintessential publish or perish problem. He has just moved to another University because he is having trouble publishing, which we find strange as he has a BSD (big swinging d*%k) supervisor. Usually that will ensure a smooth path. He is torn between finding a great home for his family in his new location or just finding one that has the specs to ensure easy resale when he moves on to the next University (if he publishes) or moves cities if he decides to get out of the game (perish). We suggested to him that if he cites the right people (ehm ehm) he may just find some very friendly referees.

In the rush of getting everything sorted out and loaded in the taxi, we only realized that we had forgotten the stroller when we reached the airports. We had the new Pikollo front pack for Dylan that I had just bought so it wasn’t that much of a problem at the airports, but we knew we had to get one in Milan as I would be stuck in the hotel without one. Lugging a 32 pound baby on my back while dragging along a whiny Sash to the Duomo would just be self inflicted torture.
The flight out was uneventful other that the realization that Dylan is an absolute handful on flights. He is usually pretty hyper at home but at least we are able to let him burn off all that energy and determination by letting him crawl around..on flights he had to be on our laps at all times so he was just a bundle of hyperactive joy. Sash was an absolute gem and pretty much entertained herself by “doing work” on her Cinderella laptop. We bought Sasha a couple of outfits she liked when we arrived in Milan to thank her for listening to us. We are rethinking taking Dylan on any other flights until he turns 5 when we can put him on an earlier flight on his own as an unaccompanied minor.

When we arrived in Milan D and I were just about ready to pass out from lack of sleep but the kids were up and ready to go and we knew we had to find a stroller so upon the concierge’s advice, and after a couple of espressos, we found a baby boutique a couple of blocks from our hotel. Not our usual sort of destination when looking for baby gear but with the language constraints (we spent about 10 minutes at another store where the proprietor nearly sold us a doll stroller) we just decided to bite the bullet. Initially we were thinking of getting the cheapest umbrella stroller but the cheapest they had was €95. Instead, we opted to spend a bit more and get a travel side by side double stroller, the Maclaren Twin Triumph. It folds like a dream and is so very light. It really wont replace our Phi&Teds as that is narrower and maneuvers in all weather, but at least we wont need to take that along with us on flights. I have had people ask why we don’t just let Sash walk, but I have to remind them that when we take in the sights, Sash may be expected to walk all day, and as I do this on my own when D is working, a single stroller isn’t the most practical option. We have already invested so much in the flights and hotels, so why not a bit more in the required equipment to make it an enjoyable experience.

After dinner we had trouble getting Dylan to bed as he was extremely tired, and his crib was not his own. He cried for what seemed liked ages and we even received calls from the management. A man who had a room downstairs knocked on our door and told us he was trying to sleep and to “do something with the baby!” I was getting pissed mainly due to sleep deprivation and also because my baby was upset and some fuckwit had the gall to suggest that we were not trying to deal with it. Did he think we liked the screaming? We finally got Dylan to bed but I was still upset about that man. In the morning, D went down to breakfast as he had to be at the conference early. He rushed up before he left to tell me that he arrived at the restaurant to fin Mr. Fuckwit sitting with my supervisor J who is also here for the conference. D said he had a “Oh my God what have I done” when J introduced them both and mentioned that I was D’s co-author and also his student (PhD students are never ex-students..we will always be tied to our supervisors in some inexplicable manner. A few weeks ago I presenter a paper at a conference in Toronto and D’s supervisor was in the audience. It sort of freaked me out as in my mind it was sort of like having my father in law in the audience. No, let me correct that. D cares more about what his supervisor thinks than what his Dad thinks). He asked if the kids were here and that we should meet up later this afternoon. So we all had G&Ts this evening in the bar downstairs…J was able to have a nice chat with Sash and we explained to her that when she does her PhD J will be her teacher. She seemed resigned. After drinks I went off for dinner while D went off to his dinner. He came home early to tell me that at his table, sitting 2 seats away there was a woman telling the rest of the table about this baby crying in her hotel..and she said “Why couldn’t they just stick a pacifier in the baby’s mouth?”. She also proudly told everyone she called management to complain. D just said “Well, that’s funny. I am at that hotel and I have a baby with me. He was having trouble adjusting after our flight from Toronto.” That’s all D said and excused himself as he was just too tired to deal with Ms. Fuckwit. The thing is we realize that the crying may have disturbed many people, but to suggest that we were what, enjoying the bloody spa while we let him cry?? Just goes to show that as easy it is to make contact with potential friendly referees, it is just as easy to make some unfriendly ones remember you for life.

On the road again..

D is in Kingston at a conference. We leave for Milan on Tuesday evening. If all goes well, D should be back just in time to park the car and wait for the airport limo. If all does not go well, he may be just in time to meet us at the airport and I will have to load up the two kiddies, a stroller, luggage and a car seat myself. If all goes terribly wrong, I am to get to Milan first and he will catch the first flight out. Fingers crossed.

As I type this Sash is watching a Barbie DVD, I think it is called Mermadia. A fluff movie comprising fairies, mermaids and cute furry pets. Sasha heaven. Dylan is wrecking the room. He has spread the mini Ritz crackers all over the carpet and is systematically crushing them with his bum. He will get bored of that and want to climb onto the sofa where his sister is. He has to be and do wherever and whatever Sasha is doing. He has been cruising like the devil for the past 6 weeks but is getting frustrated that he cannot walk yet. So we have to walk him all over the place. My back is killing me. He has started opening drawers and getting into cupboards. he has broken one glass and a bowl. He is proving to be an almighty handful. But still rather entertaining.

I bought some peanut butter and grape jelly this morning thinking I would take it along with me to Italy/Switzerland as PBJs seem to be the only thing Dylan will eat. He has improved vastly and is able to eat little pieces of the sandwich. He still mainly survives on milk but at least he is able to chew and swallow bread. He still refuses to have any mushed food so I have all but given up on that. But then I thought what the hell am I doing? I am going to Italy and taking along jars of peanut butter and jelly. I am now convinced that I have lived in North America way too long. So I took the jars out of the luggage and Dylan will just have to learn to like pasta or milk it will be. Well, at least it will be Swiss milk.

Second Cumming

Being a first child myself, I have never been able to empathize when second or younger siblings gripe about the unfairness of birth order. Raising a second child however has opened my eyes. Take this morning as an example. After taking to Sasha to J's on her trike, where we chatted, told "why did the chicken cross the road" jokes, and talked about what she would be doing today, I just felt like chilling at home doing nothing. Dylan woke up 4 times last night, twice to drink his milk and twice to just cuddle. But that would mean Dylan would be doing nothing too. It was just too tempting..to have him play in front of the TV while I caught up with the newspapers and mags. But I recalled those gripes, especially D's gripes with his being the youngest of SEVEN, and got off my ass and took him to the park where we met a new neighbour H who was with her own Mum's group. Actually, H isnt really a "new" neighbour as she moved to the street about 3 months after we did. It's just that we've only just met as a result of the street yard sale we had recently. Her son was born a day after Dylan. She has also placed her son on J's waitlist so both of them will be at J's together. To give you an idea how 100 metres matter in this hood, she lives approximately 30 houses away..and our frontages are less than 25 feet...how we had never met before is a mystery. So Dylan played with the other babies a bit, we went on the swings and we tried out the slide. Usually I am multitasking with Sash in the mix and it is always nice to give him one on one park time. New resolve. Spend quality time with Dylan. Second one. To read to him more. We started reading to Sash from day 1. To this day she is read to every night, at least 3 books..sometimes up to 5. Over the course of her life, she has been bought a new book every 3 days..she has ALOT of books. We have tried reading to Dylan many times but unlike Sash who would snuggle in our laps and listen attentively, he would try and grab the book, either tear at it or bite/chew it and after that launch himself off our laps onto the floor. Head first usually. I guess I could try reading to him on the floor. As it is he already has his first black eye. He knocked his face into the step stool yesterday.

After the park, I took him to get his first pair of shoes. He has started cruising and I fear that his socks wont protect his feet from little twigs and gravel. My baby boy is growing up....and wearing his Puggles..

Summer chaos

I love Summer. I am wondering when it will reach Toronto though. It has been raining and it has been chilly. It is June and my boiler still kicks in at night. What's up with that??!! Granted, there are the nice days in between where impromptu BBQs are in order..





When the outdoor toys are in use..



And when we are able to feel the grass between our toes...



Hopefully there will be more of those days to come.

I haven't been blogging for a while. Almost impossible to find the time. When the weather is nice we immediately head out to the backyard, the park, the anywhere outside. When the weather is crappy, I am racking my brains trying to figure out how to keep the kids entertained. It is much more difficult now as Dylan is far more active than he was a month ago, pulling himself up, coasting and wanting to be and doing what his sister is doing. He has also dropped his morning nap but takes a longer afternoon nap. Whatever free time I have is taken up by mundane things like weeding, dealing with landscaping quotes, arranging for raccoon removals (we had two trapped last night and we are setting up a few more traps just in case..the service will remove them and relocate them humanely..) and other home related issues. Dylan, like Sash, stopped eating his baby food at 9 months. So he has for the past 3 weeks been experimenting with finger foods. We are able to get some cereal into him maybe once every 3 days..but so far he is surviving on milk and Cheerios. He has since his 8 month birthday been on whole milk after getting the OK from his pediatrician, but as he is on his hunger strike, he is back on formula. Frustrating to say the least. Having said that he is as alert as ever and extremely active, so I guess lack of food is bothering me more than him.

To deal with his reactive lung, I decided to bite the bullet and get a Dyson with the hepa-filter. We have had a few vacuums and yes, they do lose suction power over time. I told D when we were in San Diego for our 4th wedding anniversary that I didnt want jewelry. I wanted a Dyson. He thought it was a sick joke I was playing. I was serious and this morning I dragged him down the street to get my present. He still thinks its a joke and soon every woman on the block will be taking the piss about the cliche "vacuum" present. I am thrilled, thrilled, thrilled with my new vacuum. I have been doing a bit of research about asthma and reactive lungs and by God I will do all I can to make sure Dylan or Sash dont get it. I was reading this article in the Economist about the link between eczema and asthma the other day and have chucked all non-organic bath and body washes. Dylan has always used organic but Sasha has for a while used more generic Johnsons or the like. They will both share body washes and shampoos now. I may be paranoid, but hey, just because you are not paranoid it doesnt mean no one is watching you.