It has been snowing here in Winnipeg. So far only a light covering on the ground. I love the fine blanket of "fresh" that such snow brings, hiding the brown grass, the concrete sidewalks and accentuating the tips of the evergreen. I am very content staying indoors with the fire going and hot chocolate on call.

FIL is doing great and in good spirits considering what he has been through. I cannot imagine what it must be like to be in continuous pain, the type of pain that only major surgery can hopefully repair. FIL is an amazing man. I haven't known him for long but I sense in him a strong sense of pride that to him asking for help just signals defeat. I think the physical pain is nothing compared to the pain he feels asking us for help when he needs carry out mundane acts such as pulling up his boxers properly, or plugging in the high tech ice pack for his shoulders (ice water pumped directly into a shoulder pack). Sasha is just having a great time going through "new" drawers and rearranging the knock knacks.

When we arrived on Friday we were informed that FIL's best friend, whom he has known for 70 odd years, passed away. This friend taught Doug how to play the piano, how to fish, and was basically a fixture in the family. The funeral is being held today. I helped FIL type the eulogy and email it to the Reverend. I am again amazed with all that has happened since last Wednesday, he is still in good spirits and only really griping about how user unfriendly his new flat screen HD TV is. and yes, Sasha is really enjoying her cartoons in HD.

Uggs

I did it. A few days ago. I bought my first pair of UGGs. I have never actually wanted to own a pair. Not being a fan, especially after seeing all those Hollywood types wear them in magazines. I mean seriously, shearling boots for Californian weather. But in preparation for my visit to Winnipeg tomorrow I figured I needed proper winter boots, comfortable ones, to keep my little toes intact without looking like I am walking apres ski. I must say that after wearing them for the past few days I can safely say that they are ugly as hell, but by golly are they comfortable. I never want to take them off. Like wearing bedroom slippers, but outside. I want to wear them with shorts in the Summer, they are that comfortable.

I must add that I bought them at a children's shoe store. The kiddie versions are identical to theirm Mummy versions, but 100 dollars cheaper (well, in Canadian dollars at least). I love a bargain.

Weekends..

It has been a normal weekend to ourselves. I have a weekend routine, which has to just has to start with reading the Sunday...I mean...Saturday papers.



In Toronto, the "fun" papers are read on Saturday. Having lived in KL, England, the US and Australia (I could not read the papers in the Netherlands, which was horribly isolating), I have been so accustomed to getting my weekly news round-up along with the latest in lifestyle and arts on Sunday. And yes, I confess..the latest gossip (News of the World cannot be beaten in this regard). It was quite a shock to my weekend routine when I first tried buying the papers on my first Sunday here (huh, why only one paper on sale and why so few sections?). I quickly realised that the Saturday edition was the way to go..but then, what the heck do I do on Sunday? Was Sunday not the day I am to be left alone after breakfast/brunch to devour the news? I was lost for while. But what am I if not resilient and I now cannot fathom why other countries have not caught on to this. I recall of the many times I have been irritated upon reading an article on some sort of goings on in town on Sunday afternoon...at 2pm on the Sunday (I like my long Sunday breakfasts...did I mention?). I also hated reading about a fun whatever that was held on the Saturday...which I obviously missed. I am now clued in on the weekend events in advance..but still in limbo post Sunday pancakes. So what do I do now?

I play with Sash and Doug...



I do the groceries



Or rather, Sash does the groceries



My weekend routine has been changed, for the better I think.

Masak asam..

I have lived away from Malaysia a majority of my life. I was in the US for most of my primary school years, and in Europe for my college and post-graduate education. I think in English and my Bahasa Malaysia is at best conversational (to be honest and with shame, I must admit that my BM is shite and Sasha's will be even shite-er). I call it home instinctively, but my home is now here in Toronto. Will I ever move back to KL? Probably not. Do I want to be there now? No. Do I miss it? Sometimes, terribly. Most times, I dont even think about it.

Today I thought about it. As usual, it is during lunch time when I have to decide whether I should go the extra length and open a can of tuna to make a sandwich or take the road most travelled which is to open a box of Shreddies and have cereal for lunch. So here I am, munching on my cereal, while actually craving for a plate of steaming rice smothered in masak asam pedas ikan with a side of sambal belacan. I swear, I am drooling as I envision this staple lunch of mine in a previous life working on Jalan Sultan Ismail. I usually miss food first. Then I start feeling guilty about not missing family. I recall that the SPM is coming up in a couple of days and my baby sister will be suffering through it. I can imagine the family dinners at this time, when the days events will be dissected, as she tells all at the table that she thinks she did quite well (she usually doesn't but we have to give her credit for self-confidence). I miss those dinners..and the food. And with thought falling on the family, I have to sort out what to do with Sasha's medical emergency forms for her Nursery registration. We have to provide emergency contact details, other than the parent or guardian. We have yet again the problem of asking someone we hardly know to take on this responsibility. If only we had family here...which goes back to my making comparisons with my life now and my life back home, surrounded in a cacoon-like comfort in knowing that there exists a strong support system comprising family and friends. That is what I miss about Malaysia..and ok, the masak asam.

I have spent the past few days down with the flu. We all have. Sasha started with the runny nose from day care, and we just ran with it I guess. Lots of cold and flu medication for us, and none for Sasha. The Canadian government totally banned the sale of cold and flu medication for infants a few weeks ago. Great timing guys! She could not hold down her milk as she would throw up when she coughed (Have you ever done 4 loads of laundry in a day? Not fun..)so it has been diluted apple juice for the past few days. I hate flu season.

On the flip side, we received a package from Nxxx, Cxxxx and Mxxxx this morning. Inside, a gift to look forward to in the Spring. Thanks ever so much. I will be digging their mass graves tomorrow morning.

This morning, I curled up in my fave corner and caught up with the newspapers. All abuzz with Katie Holmes finishing the NYC Marathon, and not to mention Paula Radcliffe holding her 10 month old baby against her "rock hard" abs as she celebrated her victory. Great! Not enough that we are all expected to be back in yummy mummy flat tummy state almost as soon as we leave the hospital bed, now the benchmark is to run a bloody marathon. I mean seriously, unless you are a world class athlete that can get Nike to sponsor babysitters or have Tom Cruise's Black Amex card to pay for nannies galore, how is a normal run of the mill (and lazy to boot) mum supposed to keep up? I am just going to sit here and dwell on this....over a slice of pie.

Pre Sugar High

The weather was glorious yesterday. Brisk but ever so sunny. We took our daily walk..


It took a bit longer than usual with Sash stopping to play with her friends



But finish the walk we did. We got home in time to get her dressed in her costume and ready to hand out the treats



Of course we caught her red handed trying to sample the goodies.



There are candy wrappers all over the house. Not good as my sister in law will be arriving with her daughter for a weekend visit in a couple of hours. Have to figure out what to have for dinner, clean the house and make the beds. Well I guess another York Patty will give the much needed energy boost. Sasha wishes everyone Happy Halloween...now on to Christmas!

Friendship...

Recieved one of these email lists and loved it...

FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.
FAKE FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
REAL FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying "Damn we fucked up.but that shit was fun!"
FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
REAL FRIENDS: Keep your shit so long they forget its yours.
FAKE FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Could write a book about you with direct quotes from you.
FAKE FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you've had enough.
REAL FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say "Bitch drink the rest of that you know we don't waste."
FAKE FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Will knock them the fuck out.
FAKE FRIENDS: Are for a while.
REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.

My real friends, you know who you are. I love you!!!

P/S: I am on my 5th glass of wine....I love you guys...hic

Hollows Eve

We spent ages carving the pumpkins last night. Doug, having more experience with this sort of thing of course carved a more elaborate pumpkin. I must say I like our Pumpkin Family this year.



Sash is ever so concerned that her baby pumpkin is left outside in the cold. We caught her this morning trying to bring it back inside...

The Sherwood ravine

As I type this, it is raining cats and dogs. Bad news, I cannot run my errands. Good news, I have time to download some pictures taken over the weekend and update this blog.

Every day since we have been here, we take a walk on the nature trail in Sherwood Park. Sometimes twice a day. Yesterday I decided to take along a camera to share with you the beauty of our Fall.

The start of the nature trail.

Sasha loves the trail...



and we love that she loves it...

I hope this rain stops soon..I feel like going for a walk.

Home at last

Dini is home safe and sound. It was a rough night, but it could have been worse. Doug went to retrieve Dini at 8am this morning. Sash clung to him for dear life and has not let go since. We even took him for our afternoon walk, something we have never done before.

It is Doug's birthday tomorrow. I have Sasha's present hidden away to be opened at dinner tomorrow. We thought of going out but I think it will be fun having a nice relaxing dinner at home. I will set the table, bung some lamb chops in the oven with some potatoes, toss a tomato and mozarella basil salad, stick a fire-hazard amount of candles on a nice blueberry pie, and open a bottle of champers. That way we get to have a nice dinner and Sash can run around free. On Friday, when Sash is at day care we plan on catching a movie matinee. Before that we need to get to the shops to get lights and decorations for Halloween, candy, top soil and mulch to prepare our garden for winter and plant the bulbs before the frost. All this before the weekend...wow.

Dini

This is Dini. He has been Sasha's companion, safety blanket and pillow since she was a wee babe. He completes her. We left him at day care this evening. We discovered this disastrous oversight just as we were trying to put her to bed. She has been turning the house upside down looking for him. We are in for a loooooooong night...sigh. I have just ordered a back-up a few minutes ago so this will never happen again. The last time we misplaced Dini it was in Toronto airport a year ago. We had the Airport authorities Fed Ex him to us at substantial cost..we could have bought 8 Dinis for what it cost us. This time we will pay in sleep hours. Come to think of it, I think I will order a few more after this so all she has to do is reach out and she will find one...reminds me of when she was a baby and I used to scatter a whole bunch of pacifiers in her crib so all she had to do to when one dropped out of her mouth was to reach for another. Dini, we miss you.

It is getting colder and we have started the furnace to heat the house, we have started wearing sweaters and jackets and packed away the shorts. On to a new season. Sash is now in day care the full 3 days a week. The novelty has worn off and she now realises that when we dress her as soon as she wakes up it is DAYCAREDAY. She cries, she pleads as we drop her off. Doug practically cries with her. Last Friday when we both picked her up she was on the slides with J, the day care owner. She saw us and we realised she was torn between rushing to us or to continue sliding. She chose to slide. We knew then that she would be fine, eventually. I am a great believer of forcing her to accept certain things, be they the good fortune she has in life or the many hard knocks to come. I think the band-aid should be ripped off quickly and efficiently. Doug is a great believer of creating a fairytale childhood for Sasha. He will leave the band-aid on and hope it will dissolve on its own. Therefore, 3 days a week we both try to get out of sending her to day care, Doug because he cannot bear to hear his dot plead to stay with him, me because I cannot stand crying..period.

Our good friends from our old neighbourhood crossed the border for a visit. Although Toronto is only a 7 hour drive, with 2 kids and dog, that drive will only be made by very good friends. We were initially worried that compared to what they are used to, our house would seem cramped and uncomfortable, and we wanted them to be comfortable. We were reminded however during the course of the visit that good friends visit friends, and the surroundings are somewhat secondary. So 4 adults, 3 children and a dog enjoyed visiting with each other, and didn't fight once over the one full bath. We took in the sights, the museums and nature without resorting to the use of a car. We took the subway, we took the ferry and we walked everywhere. Made us appreciate Toronto even more.

On the eve of the Eid, I called my family who were getting ready for the ritual visit to an aunt's house for raya morning nasi dagang. Mum asked me what I was doing for Raya. I told her I was going to the dentist for a clean, then cooking a vegan meal for some friends. She was not impressed by the lack of celebration and did not hesitate to voice her concern that Sash would not be able to understand her culture if I did not make an effort. I of course explained that I do not have any relatives here, nor do I have any Melayu friends who would appreciate a bit of smushed rice and Brahim rendang. And no, I was not about to go around looking for Malaysian students to accost and drag back to my house...I would have freaked out if some woman did this to me in Uni, especially the wife of a professor..I mean seriously, as a student I had invested too much effort to avoid classes that to voluntarily socialise with a member of staff would have been traumatic to my alcohol soaked system. However, while I always act that whatever my Mum says comes in one ear and out every other orifice, I do take note. And so, the next day we took Sash round the block to buy her a new outfit, (embroidered lined jeans, shirt and sweater) and a new toy (wooden truck with assorted shapes to be shoved through shape sized holes). Of course we wanted her to wear her new outfit. Of course it had to be the day that she decided she wanted to walk around naked and refused to even wear her diapers. So we cranked up the heat and let her play with her truck buck naked. Doug says that she must have realised that Eid had something to do with rebirth...

First day

Sash started Day Care this morning, at 8.30 am. She wanted to wear heelsbut we persuaded her to wear more practical shoes. She did not stay the full day seeing as how it is her first day and all, but she was there for a couple of hours. We stayed at home, worrying about her reaction to the abandonment. We figured she would be crying, screaming her head off at the door of the day care, wanting to get out, to look for us. We experienced the empty nest syndrome. At 11am Doug went to pick her up. The day care is about 600 metres down the street. I had to stay home as our neighbour's Mum came by. She had locked herself, and her granddaughter, out of the house and she needed to call her son-in-law and/or daughter to find out if they had any extra keys hanging about. Sash came home rather vexed. According to J, who runs the day care, she did not cry and to her amusement, spent the whole morning trying to impress a boy. It was rather obvious that she liked this boy as she was stroking his hair and laying her head on his tummy. We decided to send her to day care to get her socialised, to help her overcome her shyness and to help her learn how to play. It is either the 2 hours were extremely productive or we have a little coquette in the making. Needless to say we are no longer worried about her ability to socialise...with boys at least.

The months fly by, the days are endless..

My brother-in-law is coming in on Tuesday. Sash and I are meeting him at the Art Gallery of Ontario to check out the Medieval and Renaissance Treasures from the Victoria and Albert Museum, more specifically Leonardo Da Vincci's Codex Fortster I. It is rather embarassing that I have to wait for my brother in law to spur me into actually taking advantage of what this city has to offer. Next week we will have lived in Toronto for 2 months, and I have to say that I have hardly ventured outside this neighbourhood. Sash and I have been so wrapped up in falling into some semblance of a routine that we have done just that...fallen into a routine. Must do more, must do more.

In preparation for her starting day care, I have signed her up for a few classes to get her "socialised". She unfortunately has that only child syndrome where she does not like to share..never mind her own toys, she doesn't even share other children's toys. Yup, my daughter..such a character. So, it has taken nearly two months but our days are becoming more structured. Daily routine goes like this...

7.00 Wakes up, has milk while still in bed (Did I mention we co-sleep?)

7.15 Mummy tries to get her to sleep in, failing that she is placed on the floor

7.30 Entertains herself by pulling sweaters out of dresser and trying on heels

8.00 Daddy finally gets up and takes grateful daughter into kitchen for bfast

8.15 Monday: Get ready for Kidnasium class where whole bunch of other toddlers climb on padded equipment and are entertained by 3 teenagers who do ridiculous dances and sing songs with puppets. Tuesday: get ready for day care (as of Oct 2). Wednesday: get ready for 2 hour Enjoying Your Toddler Class comprising art/music appreciation and yet more hand puppets. Thursday: Woohoo..full day of day care again. Friday: Last day of day care before the weekend.

11.00 Mondays and Wednesdays only: Park after class and snack in the park. If lucky, other neighbourhood kiddies with mummies/nannies will also be around.

12.00 Mondays and Wednesdays only:Nap then lunch

2.00 Mondays and Wednesdays only:Park again, or play in the back yard

3.00 Mondays and Wednesdays only: Mummy running out of ideas. Free time to make a mess of anything as long as entertained

5.00 Wait for Daddy to get home. Tuesday, Thursday and Friday: Pick up from day care

5.30 Walk in park

7.30 Dinner. Free time until nighty night

9.30 Nighty night

10.00 Mummy and Daddy have glasses of wine, chat and unwind

Repeat..

I have started the ball rolling with applying for Canadian PR. Tomorrow, before the gallery I have to get fingerprinted to enable me to apply for police clearance from every country I have resided in for more than 6 months since the age of 18. With each country, a different process. This will take a few months. At the rate things are moving, it may be years before I get all the paperwork sorted...sigh. Ah well, at least tomorrow I get to break routine..fingerprinted then on to appreciate some art.

Fall is coming

The Mums are out in full bloom and everyone had their jackets on today as the northern winds moved in. Fall is on the way.

We walked to Doug's friend's house this morning for a lovely brunch. A lovely Saturday morning filling ourselves with Almond croissants, broccoli fritata, sausages and coffee/OJ. They has two little girls and Sasha enjoyed herself not sharing their toys. We walked back as it got slightly chilly and came across a sign for an indoor garage sale. I am sucker when it comes to a bargain so I had a peek, and spent the next 40 minutes choosing Sash's fall wardrobe at $2 a piece. For $50, she will be snug as a bug in her "gently used" snow suits, sweaters and turtle neck shirts from Baby Gap, Tommy Hilfiger, and Gymboree. I have noticed that the kids in this neighbourhood are well dressed, and there are some rather fancy boutiques for children down the street. Initially I thought that was a drawback, but now I see it as a bonus as these kids outgrow their clothes so quickly and therefore the garage sale loot is phenomenal. My neighbours also tell me that the schools around here organise "Mummy Sales" where you can buy gently used toys and clothes. The local community center organises clothes/toys exchanges. There are programmes with local retailers where you can bring in your child's sports equipment so quickly outgrown and get 50% of new ones. When clothes, ice skates and other sporting paraphernalia can cost parents hundreds every season, I find this such a brilliant idea. For the price of the cutest yellow rubber boots I bought Sash just yesterday, she will be all ready to get as dirty as she wants in day care this October. Maybe we will finger paint again...now all I need is a garage sale held by a short woman with some ass...

Taking inspiration from Milla's fantabulous Mum, I bought Sash some finger paints and finger paint paper from the nearby ToysRUs (4 blocks away, which may seem uber convenient now but will be hell when Sash realises what endless possibilities it holds). Set them out on the patio table, took a garbage bag, cut out a semi-circle for Sasha's head, then cut out armholes very carefully as she was by then wearing the makeshift artists smock. Started out fine. Mummy showed her what to do, making nice patterns with different colours. We laughed, we chortled. She smushed some about, decided she didnt like having dirty fingers and insisted Mummy lick her fingers clean, as Mummy does when Mummy is too lazy to get a cloth during mealtimes. Mummy refused. She insisted. She decided to do it herself. Mummy had no problems with that as Crayola seemed a reliable company that would not sell kids toxic paint..but wait, wasn't Mattel? Sash quickly decided paint in no way tasted like cheese. Tried to wipe paint off on Mummy. Sweet fingerpainting session scene immediately degenerated to Mummy running away from baby screaming "nooooooo" scene. So much for that...

Amsterdam, May 2007

Some of my favourite pictures taken over the Summer

Sasha enjoying the water
Sasha picking wild blueberries on Blueberry Island
Sasha taking a break
Sasha and Dad on the deck
Sasha and Dad tubing

Skating on ice

Hiking in Big Sky, Montana. June 2007


I may have mentioned this, but D started skating as soon as he could walk. Up until his second year in University, he skated every day during the season and trained for his speed skating during the Summer. I on the other hand have never set foot in a pair of ice skates. Last Friday, we took Sasha out on the ice for the first time. We walked for 20 minutes to the nearby arena. The skates were rented and she did not have a helmet. Her Daddy laced her up and took her out on the ice. I cannot say that she loved it, I can say she did not wail like a banshee and seemed interested in what the older figure skaters were doing. They glided for about 10 minutes. There is hope. We are now planning to sign her up for lessons in January...our only problem is finding skates that fit her and more importantly a helmet that will properly protect her noggin without making her look too much like a dork. D is also thinking of getting her into organised sports like ice hockey. I would like my daughter to have her own teeth so we are limiting her skate time to figure skating. I have visions of travelling with her all over the world competing..most likely she will have a melt down during her first lesson and we will have a bunch a baby skating equipment to off load. I remember my "challenging" childhood with my piano, guitar, violin, tae kwando, and ballet lessons. Hated them, still can't for the life of me do a split, kick anyone's behind or strum a chord..but by golly I had the equipment..what comes around goes around eh?

D and I bought ourselves some skates. We believe in guiding Sasha by example. Now if only I could wear diapers to protect my behind as I imagine I will be hitting the ice many, many times.

Time out

Sash has been her usual precocious self today. I am usually able to tolerate her flinging her yogurt laden spoon across the floor for the umpteenth time most mornings. Today however she did it over and over again as she looked directly into my eyes...with a little grin. Made me think I should have named her Damien. I initiated her first time out. As I growled "Do not throw!", I took her out of her high chair and placed her in the corner. She stayed, looked down and played with her belly button. As I moved to clean the mess up, she ran after me. I stood up, pointed to the corner and said "Stay"..she laughed, ran back and stayed..for a while. Then she realised she could sit down and play with the carpet....and then run up to me again. I placed her in her time out corner again. She ran back, I placed her again. She realised it could be turned into a game and rather enjoyed being carried. After half an hour I reminded her yet again that she should not throw things, made myself a cup of coffee and ignored her while I drank it. Why oh why did I ever give up smoking....

Settled in at last...

It has been quite a while since I last updated this blog. Bad girl, bad girl. I have received kind requests, stern reprimands, and demands to update my blog. So here goes..

Lets see, since last May I have:

Moved from Troy
The move was rather bittersweet. I was excited about moving to a different country, to a larger city, to our new house, and to seek out endless opportunities. I was very very sad about leaving our neighbours. Before we left, they had organised a surprise farewell, which touched us rather deeply as it took quite a bit of effort. The days leading up to the move, packing and getting movers organised were hectic yet we found a haven of hospitality during the evenings at their house. We stayed there the night after all our goods were shipped of to Canada, the day before we were to sign the contracts to sell our first ever home together. We left Troy and drove to the border to "enter" Canada immediately after the closing. It was a tearful goodbye.

Set up base in Winnipeg
We had six weeks before we were to take possession of our new home in Toronto so we moved in with my father-in-law. We spent more time at the lake than we have ever before. Canadians are obsessed about their cottages, which are usually situated on a lake. Come Summer, everyone is "at the cottage". Those who do not have family or friends with cottages rent. Others dream of owning one. Something I never fully understood or appreciated until I saw how much Sasha loved the outdoors, very much taking to the lake country life. She went tubing (very much like water skiing but a huge inflatable tire is dragged behind a boat...being only 15 months she went tubing on her Daddy's lap, she swam, she climbed on rocks, she very much explored every nook and cranny of that island. I suspect I am going to be stuck in the wilds most Summers from now on.


Attended a conference in Warwick University
I was last at Warwick for my LLM graduation. That was more than 10 years ago. It was surreal going back this time with D by my side (Sasha was left at the lake...I tell you, wild horses could not have dragged her away), pointing out the various bars and halls of residences I used to hang out/get absolutely hammered in. The Union had inflated to ten times its original size. It had an amazing supermarket, some cool cafes and even a hairdressers. The trees had grown and new, shiny buildings erected. My old stomping grounds changed beyond recognition. Sad.

Back to the lake
Sasha seemed interested in her cousins water skiing. We will try and teach her to swim and water ski next year I think..



Move to Toronto
We flew in with 8 pieces of luggage, took a cab and dumped our luggage at our new home. The previous owners were still moving their things out. We walked to Yonge Street and bought sheets as we planned to sleep on the floor. We could have checked into a hotel but I was so sick and tired of living out of a suitcase and I just wanted to "be home". The movers had dropped the ball so they were only going to deliver our goods 5 days after our arrival. We bought an air mattress for our second night. Much more comfortable. Doug left for the US to attend a conference and I was left with Sasha to organise the unloading. Even with 3 men hauling goods and boxes, it took the whole day. Sash was rather well behaved considering she could not take a nap, there were no doors (taken out to enable furniture to be moved inside the house) and all she wanted to so was play outside. Looking back I don't even know how I did it by myself but I guess I was just so excited about getting on with the next chapter..unpacking and settling in..that I was probably high on adrenalin. Tip about unpacking: always unpack your master bedroom first, then do one room at a time.

So here we are in Toronto. We love the neighbourhood, we love the house, and we know we will be very happy here.