I have just had a most awesome lunch. During the little one's nap I decided to cook my all time favourite dish, my idea of the ultimate comfort food, wait for it...sardines cooked in spicy tomato sauce and onions, accompanied by cut chillies and hot steamy rice. Some of you may have startd gagging. I however, really love this dish. And I know how to make it too. There are various other comfort dishes I don't know how to make, like this spinach like veggie thing in clear water-ry gravy, and another veggie dish comprising sour yellow water-ry gravy, both accompanied by rice and mandatory chillies. Luckily for me I can just about handle the sardine dish. My dad likes his with an omelette. I prefer mine unadulterated. My Mum forbids the serving of sardines at any mealtime, so we only have it at home when she is away. D hates it. After lunch, I started cooking dinner which will be braised lamb shanks on rice (leftover from lunch). It will take about 3 hours in the oven, and I am beginning to feel like it is my nap time. I am as yet unsure whether I should switch off the oven and continue cooking after my nap, or check that the fire detectors are working and just let the dish remain in the oven. For some reason, I feel that I have done bugger all today.

Psychic

Last weekend, I left Sash with Doug for a few hours, for the first time ever, and attended a Psychic party my neighbour R was throwing. Yup, some people have tupperware parties; my neighbour has psychic medium parties. It was $70 for a one hour session, and we were told to "invite" any spirits we wanted to be there in the morning. Of course I asked R how one goes about inviting spirits as if I knew how, would I not be the one making the 70 bucks? It seems it was more of a casual request than a formal invite. Ok, I can do that. I told R, I was not too keen on inviting spirits like my Mum as I would think that she would take the opportunity to lecture me about all my shenanigans, and to be lectured in front, or rather through, but wait, it would technically be 2 people lecturing me..hmm..of a strange(r) medium would be rather embarrassing. R reassured me that spirits from that side are non-judgemental and so no, no one she knows has been lectured. I kind of like these secular spirits. So friendly..

The reading was in R's study and the psychic (P) had her computer and mike set up as the session would be recorded on a CD. I liked that my psychic was also technologically advanced. The first thing she said was "Did you know that there is a spirit that is with you alot?". No, I didn't...hence the me being the one paying you. We were able to suss out that it was my Mum and we sort of went from there.

To transcribe my reading here would be an absolute pain, so I will just provide the more interesting bits. Baby is a boy (She saw a little boy around me). He will be introverted, and not as needy as Sasha. He will be smarter than his parents (Not difficult to achieve, I snorted) and he will love the sciences. He will require stimulation constantly and therein lies our challenge. Sasha has a gift of communicating with animals (but not in the Dr Doolittle sense), is sensitive to their needs and wants to heal them. This I found struck a chord as she really, really does love animals. This trait she did not get from me or D. We should surround her with animals to ground her. (Not happening as I am allergic to cat/dog hair). She will have an affinity with horses and we should get her riding as soon as we are able to. Now, here is where I have another problem. In addition to my morbid fear of chickens, I also dont like horses very much. I was kicked by a horse at my 5th birthday party. P told me that I was not to worry about Sash and horses as she would not get hurt terribly by any animal. (I wondered how she knew about my fear of kicking horses). Reassuring, but still not too sure about the horseriding lessons as they are usually held in cold, smelly barns. And I thought sitting through future ballet lessons would be an absolute pain..

P told me that we will not be in TO for long. I did not want to ask her for how long as I didnt really want to know. I like to pretend we are staying put somewhere so I dont feel like I am in transit always. I did ask her where next, and she said West. I asked her to be specific as West to us could mean Perth. Vancouver, she said. We will remain in Canada. Good thing as I just spent ages completing my PR application, and there are worse places I guess...

Another spirit joined us. P described her and I told her I had no idea who this was. P was surprised as this spirit was quite keen on telling me something..P insisted she was a blood relation, wore glasses and had 5 kids. I was again not very helpful. P asked if Mum was my bio Mum. I said no. She asked if I knew my bio Mum. I told her I met her once but cant tell her from Adam. If you weren't blond, you could be my bio Mum for all I know, I told P. She said the spirit was my bio Mum, I was the last of her kids. Which reminded me of the one and only time I saw bio Mum at her home. I was 12 and she had all these really young toddlers around her, with other people older than me hanging about. Didnt think much of it then but perhaps they were her older kids. I have never been overly concerned about bio Mum but I asked what she wanted to tell me. P said that she advised me to take care of my teeth as when she was preggers with me, her teeth went to pot, and that my baby will be taking alot of calcium from me. My first thought was, Good to know, then it occured to me: Wait a minute, this woman gave me up at age 10 minutes, never bothered to see how I was doing, and in our first communication EVER, all she can say is TAKE CARE OF YOUR TEETH??!! Bloody hell, my life just got more bizarre...

Then Mum, not bio Mum, told me (thru P of course) that she was happy. Note that being the sceptic that I am, I did not divulge much to P so I was rather surprised that she picked up quite a bit from the spirits. Such as Mum died young. Mum said that she was greeted by her Dad (she was very much closer to her Dad than her Mum so this made sense), and that she was glad to be free of her pain. Mum also took credit for getting Sash to sleep on her own, as she often reads and sings to her, kisses her on her forehead, and surrounds her with an aura to lower her blood pressure so she would sleep easier. Ah, so that explains the sudden change in Sash. We used to have to lie down with her for hours just to put her down and what seemed like overnight, now 90% of the time, we just have to put her in bed, read to her her 5 Dora books, put on her music box and she puts herself to sleep. It may take her an hour to actually doze off, but she will stay in bed and just chill. Whatever or whoever the reason, I wonder if she can now work on getting Sash to eat more...

Lots more was discussed on work and marriage issues, but that shall remain private. The reading ended well and I was quite satisfied. I went in a sceptic, and admittedly while not a total believer, I felt reassured after the reading. I am one of those people who appreciates that not everything in this world can be explained and that sometimes, you just have to go with the flow and believe in what makes you feel better. After the reading, as I was chatting with P and R's husband about the baby (he is quite happy that our baby will be born approximately 2 months after theirs..a potential playmate), I joked that I had requested that my epidural be given while I am filling out my paperwork at the hospital. P turned to me and said, very seriously,...you wont have time for an epidural. This one will come out very fast and promise me that the minute you feel you are in labour, get to the hospital as fast as possible. Also, stay away from water. No cruises. Hmmm, considering that there is no way in hell I am going to deliver a kidney stone, much less a baby, without an epidural, and that in April, I am already planning an island cruise around Langkawi Island, I am going to put her statements post reading and payment as non-psychic. I believe what I want to believe.

So I went home to find a very frazzled D giving Sash her 8pm bath at 4pm (he didnt know how else to entertain her) and told him we needed to get a hairless cat or dog for Sash. He laughed and reminded me that we live in Canada.

I needed to get some fresh air after lunch (pasta puttanesca and not sashimi platter as anticipated). Ended up window shopping. As a Family Day present for Sash and Baby, I bought this....



Its this all-in-one learning system for toddlers which is a new arrival at my fave kiddie shop round the corner. I just found the idea so simple, yet ingenious. I had to get it especially since it was only $39.99. Basically, this bag is divided into 4 sections, one for each of the basic skills: alphabet, numbers, shapes and colours. Each section has fully coordinated teaching charts, flash cards, board books and foam puzzles.







Now, dont get me wrong. I am not pushing, nor expecting, Sasha to learn to read before her 2nd birthday. I do want to continuously stimulate her though. I believe IQ is part of a person's genetic make-up and I don't believe that forcing her to learn things at the level that I think she should be learning will help her in any way. I think it may just harm her actually. So for now we are just doing the puzzles, which she is enjoying. She has the attention span of a gnat so the flash cards are put away rather quickly. She will tolerate the books. As we do the puzzles and laugh as she tries to push an octagon into the triangle space with all her might, while I have no idea what she is thinking or what her IQ level is, I do know that she will do just fine in this world as she obviously has more than sufficient imagination and determination. And I believe very strongly that with enough imagination, and with determination, you can conquer the world if you want to.

Sasha is definitely a girly-girl. She likes to play pretend tea with her tea set. Well, it's not actually a tea set. It comprises 2 antique flower shaped small cups and saucers, more like espresso cups, I found in an antique store in NY for $1 each. Her teapot is a little white elephant shaped creamer I found in a furniture shop in Rosedale. She also likes to arrange the cushions on the floor, drag the lap throw to her pile and pretend she is having a sleepover. I am however never invited into her play world. Her Daddy has had tea with her many times, and he is invited to "dodo" with her on her pile of cushions regularly. He is her play mate, while I am the one she goes to if she wants help with a puzzle, or to read a book. Not that I am complaining. While she was dancing and having tea with her Dad last night, I was able to watch Shopgirl, the movie with Claire Danes, Steve Martin and Jason Schwartzman. I really liked it. I didnt really like the ending as I hated Jason's character..all that oil in his hair.....and I found Steve's world weary and damaged character so very endearing in a way. I think I will get the book.

It is Family Day in Ontario today. It is a new public holiday promised by the current ruling party during the last elections. (Do not ask me anything about the political parties in this country...I cannot vote so do not see the point of caring too much as cant really do anything even if I do start caring..like the US elections..I will only start having opinions once a candidate is voted in because really what is the point of spending too much time analyzing the various candidates when I CANNOT VOTE?) People have mixed feelings about this holiday. The day care is closed, and Sasha is beside me watching TV so I am none too happy with this inconvenient holiday. D's visitors from Quebec are also not thrilled with the Uni being closed today so they will be working here at our dining table as they have a deadline. The weather is horrid so everyone is basically hunkering down at home for the long weekend. Some can't get off work so have to take their annual leave to take care of kids. No, this Family Day is not a good idea..well, having it in February is not a good idea. The Visitors have insisted that in return for the use of our dining table, they will buy us lunch. I am pretty sure though that they probably thought "Holy merde, D's wife is going to cook again...zut alors, we must find a way to escape..". But hey, regardless of their motives, I am having sashimi today..yay.

First check-up:Part 2

During my first check-up, DrS asked how long my first labour took. I told her, all in all, about 14 hours. Used Demerol for about 7 hours, then epiduraled the second leg. She warned me that this next one may probably take half the time, barring complications. And I will also be pushing for half the time. I told her I only pushed for 23 minutes. She was rather surprised, and told me that I should expect to halve that for the next one. Wow, I thought, 10 minutes...that's great. What if I felt like having a poo during labour? She told me "Oh, we'll definitely be watching you". Reassuring, but creepy...

First check-up

I woke up early this morning to make my first obgyn appointment downtown. I decided to go with an obgyn DrS, who is with St Michaels's Hospital for two main reasons. It is a first rate, smallish hospital affiliated with the University of Toronto that specializes in women's health care, and it is situated downtown just off Yonge and Queen, a stone's throw from The Eaton Center and a few subway stops away. If I am going to be traipsing downtown by subway at least once a month all bloated and preggy, I might as well get some retail therapy while I am at it. Went in for the usual pee and see (you always have to pee as soon as you get to the office), but this time I was given a cup with a dipstick, a key to the ladies and told to stick the stick in my pee, and only pass them the stick if it changed colour. Which was quite different from my first experience Stateside where I found it rather unsettling to pass a nurse a cup of pee. I swear I must have wiped down/washed cup three times, every time, before passing the cup over. Felt much better just chucking everything once I established that dipstick did not change colour. The doctor was very professional and explained that I was to embark on the first of the series of tests that I would take, which is the Prenatal screening for nuchal translucency. Simple enough to do as an ultrasound will be taken to measure a potential collection of fluid behind the neck. If they have any concerns then I will undergo the maternal serum screening, tests for spina bifida and other neural tube defects, and possibly an amniocentesis. But today it was just another ultrasound and blood work. We couldnt tell the sex but we should be able to at the next ultrasound in about 5 weeks. DrS asked me how I prefered to deliver. I told her depending on the weight of the baby I would prefer to have a vaginal birth with an anesthesiologist waiting for me when I check in the hospital, the IV in place while I fill in the forms. None of this waiting for me to be 5cm before administering bullshit...I want to be drugged up, and drugged up good. She laughed and said she will look into it. I like her already.

My favourite Valentines..

Conversations

I was never one of those girls who dreamed of getting married, who planned their wedding(s) at age 8, and who thought marriage would complete me. I didnt want children. I quite enjoyed serial monogomy. I couldn't imagine being tied down to one person forever. I thought that seeing the same person everyday would just bore me to death. While I still have doubts about this whole concept of marriage and lifelong commitment, I cannot say that being married to D will bore me anytime soon. A sample of our conversations at home this last week...


On laundry

Me: (Shouting from basement) D, you do realise that I do the wash once a week, on Saturdays?!
D: (From dining table, doing work)Uh-huh
Me: You know this has been going on since January...don't you?
D: Uh-huh
Me: So can you explain to me why I am only washing 4 pairs of your boxers?
D: Oh, yah...I think that's because I only have 4 pairs...
Me: Huh? So what do you do the rest of the days? No, wait....I don't want to know.
D: Hmmm, well.....OK, I'll just go to Gap and get a couple more
Me: Yah, you do that....Wait..are you wearing..
D: Bye honeybunny..(Slams door)
Me: ...underwear....


On cooking

D: I'm hungry. Can you cook me some of your noodles please? Oh wait...maybe I should watch you so that I know what to do next time..
Me: (In total shock as we have been eating instant noodles every week at least twice a week for, like, forever). I'm not feeling great. Can you cook it yourself. Noodles are in the pantry..
D: Cool.
Me: Take small pan, fill 3/4 water..
D: Filtered or unfiltered?
Me: Your choice..
D: Ok.
Me: Put on fire, put in spices, wait for water to boil, put in noodles.
D: That sounds easy enough. Wow, like now I can cook us dinner. (Minutes later). OK, noodles are in.
Me: Put in an egg
D: Ok
Me: Uh, break the egg
D: Oh-oh.....

I have a Googleganger (Similar to that of a doppleganger, it is another individual with the same name as you whose records and/or stories are mixed in with your own when you Google yourself: www.urbandictionary.com). She is funnily enough a little 3 year old Malaysian girl who also has a blog. As she is pretty young, I assume that the little wisecracks accompanying the pics on her blog originate from her Dad. I have always liked my name (well, first and last, hate my middle name). I hope she likes hers.

I was watching TV with Sash this evening. She is only allowed to watch the Treehouse channel as it is a channel catering exclusively to Pre-schoolers, so they air age appropriate non-violent mushy sentimental/educational cartoons with morals and ethics. I am convinced that had I access to this channel as a child I would not be the morally lax, ethically challenged degenerate that can curse like a sailor that I am. I would also be able to differentiate a tepir from a tree sloth. They are also not allowed to advertise junk food and toys, so I dont get tempted by junk food, and D by toys that crash together. So as fillers, they advertise upcoming shows and specials. Like the special day on Feb 14th, which is Friendship and Caring Day. My first thought was...huh? What happened to Valentines Day? Then it hit me..political correctness. Some people dont believe in St. Valentine. They didnt advertise Christmas either, it was just Happy Holidays. I suppose this will placate the multi racial and multi denominational Canadians. I am beginning to realise where D gets his political correctness from...and why he doesn't understand my Malaysian blase-ness about race. I remember when we were visiting KL he would ask me why I would for example say "so, we should go to that stall (the best food in KL is street hawker food sold from roadside stalls) with the Chinese guy" instead of "so, we should go to that stall with the man wearing the red shirt". I told him because the other seller sold satay and he is Malay and another Indian. And D asked, but why refer to him as Chinese. My response, because he is, whats up with you??. Cant we just eat this nice Chinese fried kueh teow in peace? After a while I realised that D assumed that by recognizing race as a differentiating factor, I did this in a derogatory manner. I explained that this is far from the case. We are all Malaysian but unlike in other countries, we are not the many races and religions melted into one pot. I mean, could there even be such a concept? Malaysia is more like a trifle...obviously made up of various layers, but also beautiful and harmonious as a whole (damn, now I feel like having some trifle). We are able to hold on to our cultures and beliefs because we are ABLE to practice them alongside others. This is the Malaysia that I know...it may not be what is experienced by many..but this is what I know and feel. So while I am glad that Sash is being taught political correctness, I am equally relieved that she will one day be able to experience and understand the Eid, Chinese New Year, Depavali and Wesak. And she will appreciate that while her Mum prefers Chinese Fried Kueh Teow over the wet Malay fried kueh teow, it doesnt mean she is not appreciative of her Malay culture (and food). She is just appreciating the joys and benefits of being Malaysian (OK, now I am officially hungry).

For the first time today, we drove the 500m to Sash's daycare. Apparently there is a severe weather warning as the temp outside is -18 but with wind chill, feels like -31. Note that I don't bother with the Celcius or Fahrenheit because to be honest, by the time it hits -10, I couldn't care less (Although technically, it is only when it hits -40 that Celcius and Fahrenheit are the same). So I have declared today Do Bugger All But Drink Hot Chocolate Day. I will stay home, maybe do some work (huge maybe), read a book (still waiting formy Amazon orders), but all in all it will be do bugger all but drink hot chocolate day. Having said that, even as I type out my plans, I am getting claustrophobic and itching to take a walk. Maybe after I run out and get my paper I shall embark on my do bugger all but drink hot chocolate day. But since I am out, why not walk the extra few blocks to get a bottle of wine for a dinner we are attending on Saturday. It should be an extra nice bottle as the couple, who are as yet unencumbered by snot producing beings, have very nicely invited Sasha along. They live in an apartment downtown facing Lake Ontario, the ones that I would have chosen to live in but for the whole backyard and good schools criteria. They are vegetarian. Well, he is vegan and she, I think, wants to marry him so she is semi-vegetarian. Extremely sweet couple. He is English and she is Continental European, and they are both academics. She is pretty much in the same boat I am in that it is very very difficult to get an academic job if you are geographically constrained. Unlike me, she is able to widen her horizons to the US, as they are willing to commute. D and I talked about this but it just seemed impractical as Sash (and now bub) would have to be based with either one of us and she is too much of a creature of habit to be shuttled back and forth between a house and a flat somewhere. Ah well, the search goes on...

I will of course have to disclose that I am preggers. We haven't really told alot of people, well, because we don't know alot of people but mainly I get a kick when I see that "Is she preggers or has she gone all fat??" look of uncertainty on people. I believe that the one and only safe time to ask a woman if she is pregnant is when you see the head crowning. So I like to wait and see if some people are able to help themselves from being rude. Some are but you just see them itching to burst. But I find that at dinner parties, as I turn down that Lychee martini or glass of red in lieu of a glass of water or juice, I can sense the lightbulb going off in the hostess's head (usually the hostess as the host will just assume I am nice docile designated driver wifey) and I know I have to put her out of her misery....or sometimes D will turn to me and ask "Can I tell them?". What can I say...No?...how rude would this be while I am munching on their cheese and olives..so by then before I can say the obligatory "Of course (smile through grited teeth)..hahaha" they are already toasting their own selves to guessing correctly. This will probably repeat itself until I deliver the baby at some dinner party when at last someone can safely ask "So, are you, uhm, pregnant?" as the baby crowns..

A few days ago, I noticed from my live traffic feed that I had a reader from Parit Buntar, Malaysia. Boy did that open the memory floodgates. I have lived in many countries, in different cities, but I spent most of my childhood in this little town on the border of the states of Penang and Kedah. But it is actually situated in the state of Perak. Pretty much like Basle, but far from it.

My earliest memories are of my experiences in my maternal Aunt's house which was situated on the main road which led to Butterworth, Penang. It was a brick and wooden structure, with a huge balcony on the second floor, set far back from the main road. The land was seperated from the main road by a parit (drain), and so to get to the house, you had to drive your car over a rickety little wooden bridge. Until today, I can still hear the lorries (semis/trucks) passing by on the main road at all hours, making the ground tremble as they sped by. Ironically, the sound of street traffic doesn't bother me today. I find it rather soothing. My aunt had a fruit orchard and raised chickens behind her home. She would take me along in her little car to buy chicken feed...and again, if I try hard enough, I can smell the grain and corn and what not that goes into chicken feed packed in huge hemp sacks. I also now have an irrational fear of chickens as I also remember being chased by a few rouge chickens gone amok. I was pretty tiny back then so the chickens were relatively huge. I remember picking eggs, fresh brown warm eggs, and local Malaysian fruits like rambutans, mangoes, cikus (looks like a kiwi but tastes very different), and mangosteens, eating them right under the tree.



My parents were working in Kuala Lumpur and they would visit ever so often. Funnily enough, I was so accustomed to my aunt and uncle, and their kids, that it would take me a few days to figure out who these interlopers were. I knew I liked them because they would take me to the local "posh" restaurant for a Banana Split, and to the playground which had a huge metal climbing structure shaped like a rocket. I could have lived in the playground if they let me. I remember thinking the huge drain in front of the house as a river. While I was fed cabai (hot chillies in Kedah-slang) and nyok (coconut milk), I was also read the complete works of Enid Blyton at bedtime. And so the drain was a river, and underneath the chicken coop, my secret hideaway.

The last time I visited the house, I was 12, and my Mum's funeral was being held there. She is buried at the nearby mosque, along with my grand-dad, and other ancestors. My aunt passed away a few years ago, and the last time I saw her was during a short visit to my cousin's house in Penang in 2000. She did not recognize me. Today, when I do hink about the past, which is not very often, I think of her not as the shell of a woman that I saw last, but as the energetic lady who would spend ages haggling with the local towkay (chinese shop owner) over the chicken feed, who would spend the afternoon with me on the balcony, smoking her cheeroot, and who was such a strong presence in my idyllic childhood. As I type this and look out to my snow filled backyard, I wonder how I got from running around the chicken coop screaming for someone to save me from the psycho chicken, to here.

I have just finished reading these 2 books. I really, really enjoyed them. Highly recommended. I am now looking out for this book..



Still snowing outside. Sasha down with some mysterious bug that caused her to puke last night/this morning at 3.00am. Rather scary as she was literally choking on her puke. Dread to think what would have happened if she had not cried out before she puked. Suffice it to say that sleep was impossible after that. On the bright side, I was able to finish the books and start reading/amending page proofs for a forthcoming article in a good economics journal. Funny thing about getting to the page proofs stage...while you are ever grateful for having the paper accepted, you start cursing having to read a paper which you have been working on since 2004 yet again.

You know whaat I hate more than the blood and urine tests I have to take over the next few months? Its the waiting for the test results. I got a call from my family doctor yesterday afternoon asking me to come in for a follow up. They had my test results back. I initially made the appointment for Friday morning as Sash would be in daycare then. D was a bit apprehensive (he is more of worry puss than I am during preggy season) so he decided to leave for the airport later than planned so I could go in to see the doctor while he stayed home with Sash. Luckily the doctor's office is just 2 blocks away so they were able to fit me in quite easily. He told me everything is fine, hormone levels up to some 80 thousand digit, and referral will be made this morning. The only issue is that with my finding out so late, I may have a problem having the first trimester scan thinggy test done, where they measure the neck of the foetus to determine the possibility of down syndrome. This can only be done up to 13 weeks, so I may be too late, although they would prefer that it be carried out due to my age. I am not overly worried as I am amendable to having every test possible, even the more invasive ones so while it may be too late for this test, I am pretty sure many more will come. Waiting for test results is just as bad, if not worse, than waiting for the baby.

There are two things we can do during heavy snowfall...we can either sit at home, and mope while we wait it out, or we can walk down this street



and head to this park



to go sleddding

All better..

Sasha's vocabulary is growing leaps and bounds...as they say, toddlers at this age are like sponges.

Some words she knows:

Llama, Horsie, Cat (meow), Dog (woof woof), Wolf, Sloth, Ocputus (not a typo), Whale, Bat, Buttew-fly, Ewephant, Zibra, (She watches alot of Diego, Animal Rescuer, a popular cartoon), Milk, Tiger, Juice, Twee, Dowa, Boots, hat, scarf, jacket, Squiwwel, pasta, rice, chicken, ducky, water, boat coat (this is her life jacket that is practically glued on her over the summer), doug, mama, mummy, mom, daddy, baby, downstairs, etc...

She has started speaking in sentences...she will say "Carry you" if she wants us to carry her, "Milk please", although she shouts this so doesnt sound overly polite, "Thank you" and "Yor wecom", "No Dodo!!", "Bye bye (add in Mama, Doug, doggie, other name)", "Change diaper", "Dance Daddy", "More book", "Dini and paci??","Open light", "My chair" (and "My (everything else))", "Again! Again!", and "All better".


I cleaned the house last weekend as we were having guests for dinner. So far we are maintaining status quo..even after Sasha's play date with our neighbour, W. He is getting a younger sibling in late June, so his Mum and I are helping them with sibling expectation management. His Mum, a trained child psychologist who has opted to stay at home, bought him a couple of dolls to prepare him for the new addition. She also believes in gender neutral play. We are also preparing Sash for the arrival, pointing to my tummy and telling her about baby. Unfortunately, she indicated "No baby...doggie". Houston, I think we have a problem...

So in view of this rather momentous house cleaning...I present you, parts of mi now clean casa...the rest of the time we live like slobs






All better...

7-8am this morning...

Our front yard




Our backyard

We woke up to the aftermath of a rather substantial snow dump. But life goes on, and Sasha has to be bundled up for daycare.




And people have to get out to work. The beauty of living in a city that gets lots of snowfall is its capability to handle such things. I read somewhere that TO spent $67 million last year on snow removal etc...

Surprise surprise

I went in for my first consult with my Canadian family doctor this morning. In ON, you have to go through your family doctor for EVERYTHING. For example, before I can get on board with an ob/gyn, I have to have him refer me to my potential or intended ob/gyn. Although all I am actually looking for is a person to catch the baby when it pops out, I have spent the last week calling around for one that is taking in new patients (not alot are..and the ones who are I find suspicious) who will be delivering sometime in the near future. Each receptionist kept asking when I was due..and all I wanted to scream after the third day of calling around is...For Gods sake, thats what I'd like to know!! What made this hunt more difficult was that I was limited to doctors who have attendant rights at hospitals with NICUs (Neonatal intensive care umits), and there are only two in TO. You never know, and i am not taking any chances. I finally found one, but they required a referal asap, with ultrasound and bloodwork. In the US, this was done by my ob/gyn, so this whole system is rather alien to me...oh wait, I am the alien. So in I went this morning. Told me that I had to get blood work and ultrasound done the same morning as he wanted to send the referral tomorrow to ensure that I would meet the quota for the ob/gyn for the month I am supposed to deliver. It has to be said, that while there is no universal healthcare in the US, as insurance holding patients, we were treated like Gods. I feel like I am in a socialist country here, without the two tier health care system.

And so it began. One thing they never tell you about pregnancy is that doctors will be hounding you for blood and urine day and night. Vials and vials of the stuff. After the blood letting, I had to wait an hour and a half for my ultra sound appointment. And in that time I had to fill my bladder. It was touch and go during lunch as I may have filled it way too early..but I held on for the scan. I was rather looking forward to it as I am still in denial about the whole preggy situation and was still kind of hoping that the test we took at home was tainted. Turns out however that in addition to confirming that I am indeed preggy, ultraman declared that I am in my ..wait for it...12th week. I kid you not...here I am thinking I am perhaps 3 weeks pregnant at the most....and my first trimester is over...go figure. I am quite chuffed as I am supposed to present a paper in Amsterdam in mid September, and initially I thought I would have to cancel it seeing as how I may be in the delivery room, but if I really am due in early August then the presentation can still go on..yay.



I introduce you...the second cumming.

Cupcakes

I had an urgent craving for a cupcake this afternoon. Since Doug was at home (the Uni declared an emergency closure at 11.30 this morning), I insisted we walk to my idea of heaven which is 2 blocks away. He was up to walking in a snowstorm, but not for only 1 cupcake. So I had to, was absolutely forced to, get half a dozen. So I chose the Yonge and Eligible, the Curious George, Sleepless in Toronto, Mango Madness, Frost Me and last but not least, the Lemon Drop. Unfortunately, I had to share my stash.



We had some for desert too

I read an article in the paper this morning and I just cannot stop thinking about it. Basically, 2 sisters, one three year old and the other a year old, were found dead in the Prairies frozen to death. In -50 weather, they were found wearing only diapers and T-shirts. Their father had been drinking heavily last Monday night and panicked when something, possibly an illness, struck his youngest daughter just after midnight. With no phone to call for help (they live on a native reserve), he tried to run to his sister's house, 400 metres away, but never made it. He did remember dropping his daughters as he ran. Four hours after he left his home, a hypothermic and frostbitten father crawled to a neighbour's door and banged until someone woke up to help him. The RCMP said that when they arrived, the father couldn't communicate, and it wasn't until eight hours later in hospital that he asked about his daughters, setting off a massive search that led to the discovery of the two bodies. Fuck. Abandoned in -50 weather. Thats all I can say...fuck. I cant even express the sadness that I feel. How they must have suffered. I keep getting these mental pictures of the 2 girls, but with Sasha's face superimposed on theirs. I suspect this story is going to haunt me for a while.