Time out

Sash has been her usual precocious self today. I am usually able to tolerate her flinging her yogurt laden spoon across the floor for the umpteenth time most mornings. Today however she did it over and over again as she looked directly into my eyes...with a little grin. Made me think I should have named her Damien. I initiated her first time out. As I growled "Do not throw!", I took her out of her high chair and placed her in the corner. She stayed, looked down and played with her belly button. As I moved to clean the mess up, she ran after me. I stood up, pointed to the corner and said "Stay"..she laughed, ran back and stayed..for a while. Then she realised she could sit down and play with the carpet....and then run up to me again. I placed her in her time out corner again. She ran back, I placed her again. She realised it could be turned into a game and rather enjoyed being carried. After half an hour I reminded her yet again that she should not throw things, made myself a cup of coffee and ignored her while I drank it. Why oh why did I ever give up smoking....

Settled in at last...

It has been quite a while since I last updated this blog. Bad girl, bad girl. I have received kind requests, stern reprimands, and demands to update my blog. So here goes..

Lets see, since last May I have:

Moved from Troy
The move was rather bittersweet. I was excited about moving to a different country, to a larger city, to our new house, and to seek out endless opportunities. I was very very sad about leaving our neighbours. Before we left, they had organised a surprise farewell, which touched us rather deeply as it took quite a bit of effort. The days leading up to the move, packing and getting movers organised were hectic yet we found a haven of hospitality during the evenings at their house. We stayed there the night after all our goods were shipped of to Canada, the day before we were to sign the contracts to sell our first ever home together. We left Troy and drove to the border to "enter" Canada immediately after the closing. It was a tearful goodbye.

Set up base in Winnipeg
We had six weeks before we were to take possession of our new home in Toronto so we moved in with my father-in-law. We spent more time at the lake than we have ever before. Canadians are obsessed about their cottages, which are usually situated on a lake. Come Summer, everyone is "at the cottage". Those who do not have family or friends with cottages rent. Others dream of owning one. Something I never fully understood or appreciated until I saw how much Sasha loved the outdoors, very much taking to the lake country life. She went tubing (very much like water skiing but a huge inflatable tire is dragged behind a boat...being only 15 months she went tubing on her Daddy's lap, she swam, she climbed on rocks, she very much explored every nook and cranny of that island. I suspect I am going to be stuck in the wilds most Summers from now on.


Attended a conference in Warwick University
I was last at Warwick for my LLM graduation. That was more than 10 years ago. It was surreal going back this time with D by my side (Sasha was left at the lake...I tell you, wild horses could not have dragged her away), pointing out the various bars and halls of residences I used to hang out/get absolutely hammered in. The Union had inflated to ten times its original size. It had an amazing supermarket, some cool cafes and even a hairdressers. The trees had grown and new, shiny buildings erected. My old stomping grounds changed beyond recognition. Sad.

Back to the lake
Sasha seemed interested in her cousins water skiing. We will try and teach her to swim and water ski next year I think..



Move to Toronto
We flew in with 8 pieces of luggage, took a cab and dumped our luggage at our new home. The previous owners were still moving their things out. We walked to Yonge Street and bought sheets as we planned to sleep on the floor. We could have checked into a hotel but I was so sick and tired of living out of a suitcase and I just wanted to "be home". The movers had dropped the ball so they were only going to deliver our goods 5 days after our arrival. We bought an air mattress for our second night. Much more comfortable. Doug left for the US to attend a conference and I was left with Sasha to organise the unloading. Even with 3 men hauling goods and boxes, it took the whole day. Sash was rather well behaved considering she could not take a nap, there were no doors (taken out to enable furniture to be moved inside the house) and all she wanted to so was play outside. Looking back I don't even know how I did it by myself but I guess I was just so excited about getting on with the next chapter..unpacking and settling in..that I was probably high on adrenalin. Tip about unpacking: always unpack your master bedroom first, then do one room at a time.

So here we are in Toronto. We love the neighbourhood, we love the house, and we know we will be very happy here.

I spent an hour defending my work. I was told that I would be, to put it crudely, bitchslapped, about my thesis chapter that suggested that there is a positive relationship between regulation and private equity investment by Dutch Institutional investors. Too counterintuitive. I smiled, I put my point across succicntly and clearly. The examiners deliberated. I am informed that I have been awarded a doctorate cum laude. I smiled, in surprise, thinking holy shit I did it. D is to now call me Dr. Supreme Commander. I freakin did it.

I spent an hour defending my work. I was told that I would be, to put it crudely, bitchslapped, about my thesis chapter that suggested that there is a positive relationship between regulation and private equity investment by Dutch Institutional investors. Too counterintuitive. I smiled, I put my point across succicntly and clearly. The examiners deliberated. I am informed that I have been awarded a doctorate cum laude. I smiled, in surprise, thinking holy shit I did it. D is to now call me Dr. Supreme Commander. I freakin did it.

Sasha's First portraits

I get a coupon in the mail. Submit the coupon, sitting fees are waived and get a 5x10 pic at $3.99....$156.96 later....










My thesis was approved today. I now only have to get 50 copies printed in book form and delivered to Tilburg in 10 days. And of course defend it...

Sasha's skill of the day

Leaving a crumb trail as she grinds a pecan shortbread cookie against the DVR, the table, the playcube, and the rug. Trying to lick cookie dust from the rug.

Our wonderful little package has been a little terror these past few days. Granted, she is teething and has a nasty cold. Her discomfort may be causing her mood swings, happy and playful during the day and a crying banshee at night. Regardless, she is driving me insane. Two sleepless nights have made me seriously question our plans to have a second wonderful little package. I don't handle fatigue very well. When I get tired I find it more difficult to handle my temper. After a night of short cat naps as Sash kept waking up screaming in frustration, I was ready to slam something against the wall..if only I had a vase handy. Then it hit me....Sasha was probably as tired and frustrated as I was. While she did not have the added feeling of guilt and hopelessness of not being able to alleviate her own baby's pain, she was probably wondering why her Mummy could not understand her babbling and cries. I hugged her till she slept again and reminded myself to take those birth control pills in the morning.

We spent Easter Sunday at our neighbours house. They had the whole family over...and our little unit. Grandma and Pappy brought their grandkids Easter baskets filled with goodies...and one for Sasha filled with a huge stuffed soft Easter Bunny. We were very surprised at such generosity of heart. I thank my lucky stars every day that we have found such great friends.

Bidding wars

It has been a hectic and stressful month. A month full of hope, disappointment and milestones.

Hope

We found an agent in Toronto to help us out with the house search. I found her by looking at listings that I liked, but could not see ourselves affording, and contacting a listing agent that didn't look to smarmy. We drove up to T, was interviewed by her, and she agreed to take us on. We knew which area we wanted to live in, but we needed an expert to help value the houses. We had the weekend to look at houses and figure out what we liked. Within hours we discovered that the T housing market is extremely different from Upstate. In the area we were looking at we would get 1/3 our current house for double the price. Here if you sell your house within the month you have it made. In T, when a house is put on the market, offers are sought within days. Then the bidding wars start, so depending on the number of bidders, that price which we doubled....tripled. We started out having a mental list of things we wanted. We left T on that first trip with a list of what we are willing to forgo..proximity to subway, land, number of bedrooms and bathrooms. We made an offer on a Wednesday at 6pm...was told we were not even in the running. In the past month we have made 4 offers on houses. All not even close to the final accepted bid. On our third trip to T, after looking at over 20 houses, we found one we both loved. It wasn't really the house that we fell in love with, it was the location. Minutes away down one end of the street to the most beautiful park, filled with mature trees and nature trails galore. It wasn't just a patch of grass like all the other parks we have seen..this was heaven right smack in the middle of chaos. Oh yes, down the other end of the street there are shops galore...to name a few: Starbucks, Gap and Fruits and Flowers. We knew this was the location for us. We made a pre-emptive bid, a bid before all others were due. Not even looked at. We waited a week. Last night, at 6pm we faxed in our bid to our agent. She called at 9pm. Our offer was second highest, and just a tad lower than the higher bid. We have been given the opportunity to counter bid as the sellers listing agent is a colleague of our agent. We went a tad higher, to reach a number considered extremely lucky. We sat and waited, and waited, praying that we get the house but also wondering how on earth we would pay for it. She called back and told us she had the best birthday present for Sasha. Both offers were identical, but she sat down with the sellers to tell them about us, how we met, where we have lived, why we are moving, and how we plan to live in the house to give our 1 year old baby the perfect life. The sellers liked us (better than the other bidders I suppose) and want us to enjoy the house. We are still waiting for our agent to tell us this is all a huge mistake...but for now, we are the happiest family on earth.

Disappointment

After our first trip to T, we came home to accept an offer on our home. There were two offers and we were encouraged to accept the offer from the more financially stable older couple (DINKs), and turn down the offer presented by a young couple with two kids. We negotiated with the DINKs. They retracted their offer as we did not get back to them in time. We were confused as how did they expect us to get back to them while we were enroute from T. They came back the next day with a lower offer. We turned them down. They cam back with the original offer. We suspected they would be difficult to deal with, but what can you do. They inspected the house and wanted us to change all 3 garage doors. That was straw that broke the camels back and we told them to bugger themselves. We instructed our agent to get them to rescind their offer. They did with minutes. We then accepted the offer made by the young couple. We decided to take the riskier option and bet on the nicer couple coming through. I believe what goes around comes around. The DINKs later called our agent and told her they were still interested. She had the satisfaction of telling them that another offer has been accepted.

I am sure that our accepting the young couple's offer has a huge part in the sellers of our new house choosing us over the other bidder.

Milestones

Sasha turned 1 on Tuesday. We bought her a huge dollhouse which was unveiled to her on the morning of. She is having fun chewing on the furniture. We had her portraits taken. Then we invited a few neighbours over for dinner and champers. One guest commented that she expected a Mickey Mouse themed party with balloons, not champers and brie. We told her that it was more a celebration for us as we have been able for one whole year to keep a baby alive and happy. A milestone for both Sash and her parents who this time last year never thought that such a wonderful little package could fill the days with this much joy and love.

This is what I woke up to this morning. While I find the snow enchanting...where oh where is Spring?



Sasha will be 11 months tomorrow. Funny how the months fly by so fast, but each day is just never ending.

We have a rather child unfriendly house, so we have had to teach Sash to handle certain situations rather early..like manoeuvring stairs.

I am attending a baby shower being held for a friend of a friend this Saturday. A small one as the mummy-to-be has had 3 other showers and has recieved enough gifts to clothe/lug about 8 babies. I have been racking my brain trying to figure out what to buy for her and came up with these two gifts:



Child-Rearing Roulette
"PARENTAL POINTERS" GIFT SET

Have fun and help new parents stay un-divorced with these whimsical gifts. No need to bicker about whose turn it is to change that messy diaper or do the 2 am feeding -just spin the "Wheel of Responsibility" and accept your fate! And the book on safe baby handling tips provides just that - and a lot of laughs in the process. Not just baby shower gifts - they're important tools for expecting parents! Imported.


and



Straightlaced
JOHNNY'S SOCKS - SET OF 6

A boy's never too young for sneakers - especially when they're this comfy. Cotton baby socks are printed to look like those classic kicks every guy lives in, complete with real shoelace ties. A selection of 6 pairs - in a range of colors packaged in a gift-ready box - promises an early start to the "dirty socks on the floor" phenomenon.


Figured I would balance the silly with practicality. The Johnny socks are sneaker versions of some Mary Jane socks we bought for Sasha when she was a wee 8 weeks.


It has been surreal living in the house this past week. It is semi-sterile and has to be kept so in case we need to show the house with short notice. I always keep fresh flowers about so that is not difficult to do. I dont usually keep the toilets/kitchen free of clutter so that has been a chore. I also now make the bed every day. It is just walking around the house knowing that we have had 4 other couples (one an FBI agent..) traipsing around the house criticizing it for all its worth, looking through our closets. We live here but it no longer feels like home.

Anyone want a house in Upstate NY?

Staging a home for sale is an absolute b*%$h. Previously, when we moved from our apartments, all we had to do was let the movers in and pack up everything (and I mean everything..down to the many ketchup and mustard sachets we don't bother to throw away). It is a whole new ballgame now. Cleaning the house is one thing, staging it is another. As you may know from my entries, keeping house is not my forte. I rarely vacuum and I only ever dust/clean/wipe down anything when we have people over and this only happens in rooms to be made accessible to the masses. In addition to cleaning, we now have to stage the rooms to make them palatable to the masses. The rule is, you live one way, you stage another. So all clutter has to be removed. No personal pictures, no little quirky souvenirs scattered about. Kitchen counters have to be totally cleared. This is not easy to do especially when we still LIVE here. Toys have to be put away, out of sight. Our ironing room has been turned into the nursery, so Sasha's clothes are in our dressing room (her little dresser/closet is too heavy to move) while her crib and changing table are in the new nursery (which was previously the ironing room). The larger room on the third floor has been turned into another bedroom, with the bed all made up like it is actually used (since we moved in we have only used the room once and I think I have entered the room maybe all of five times). Our little computer/printer table which was previously in our second study has been moved upstairs to the smaller third floor room so that now looks like a little study. Our closets have to be show worthy so that means we actually have to hang our clothes. I have been going around the house with a can of white paint touching up any little nick I see. The mold and mildew from the windows have to be cleaned and or painter over. No dust balls about. This house had better sell soon or I will go crazy maintaining it like this...aaaarghh!!

Any-who...if you are interested in moving upstate, I am posting some pics which our agent (who gets a whopping 6% of the sale price, and does not have to deal with a sigle dust ball!!) is using:


Our soon to be ex-home

Our soon to be ex-dining room

Our soon to be ex-living room

I very rarely have any regrets, but if asked what my most recent regret is it would be my failure to get a baby book to record Sasha's milestones. I suppose not having one myself, I assumed that Sasha would not be too bothered with her lack of one. (with all my moving about I hardly have any childhood souvenirs such as pictures etc...heck, I can't even find my academic certificates) My neighbour jots everything down and when I ask her things like "What were Ally's first words?", she will produce the book and say "Dada, 3 March, 9.18am..".

So, assuming that one day Sasha will be reading this (Although with my recent troubles teaching her to eat table food, I can't imagine teaching her something as difficult as reading. I am resigned to the fact that at the age of 21, she may still be eating strained sweet potatoes), I am going to add little bits of Sasha trivia in this blog.

For example:

She was born on 3 April 2006 at 4.12pm (although D insists he saw her hair peek out at 4.11pm).
She weighed in at 7 pounds 9 ounces 3438 grams, and she was 2 weeks early.
She was 21 inches long.
Her apgar was 9/9.

On 30 May (2 month checkup), she was 11 pounds 4 ounces and 23 inches long.
On 24 July (4 month checkup), she was 13 pounds 8 ounces and 25 inches long.
On 33 October(6 month checkup) , she was 16 pounds and 26 1/4 inches long.

Her last check-up was on 3 February 2007. She is now 17 pounds 12 ounces and is 29 1/2 inches long.

She said her first word, Dada, on 23 November 2006.
She giggled for the first time ever as I was tickling her Daddy. We were in the TV room hanging out.
Her little toes first touched the Ocean on 16 May 2006 in Martha's Vineyard.
She learned to crawl while her Daddy and I were away in India. Her Nenek trained her while we were away. We first saw her crawl in her Nenek and Tok's TV room when we arrived back in KL on the morning of 11 December 2006.
Last night, on 7 February 2007, we caught her trying to sneak up the stairs from the first floor to the second. She had climbed 7 stairs before her Mummy caught her. Her Mummy let her climb down by herself.
As of 10 months of age, Sasha has visited Saratoga Springs, Martha's Vineyard, Provincetown, Stockholm, Kuala Lumpur, Langkawi, Singapore, Amsterdam airport, Madrid, Seville, Granada (Al Hambra), Winnipeg, Toronto, Minaki, Penang, Kuching, Seattle, Boston, and NYC. She has been on 38 flights.
To take her first passport picture at the age of 2 weeks, we had to strip her naked, place her on the floor in the middle of a busy pharmacy and spray water on her face so she would open her eyes. Suffice it to say we got some nasty looks.

So Sash, if you do read this one day, we apologise for not being overly diligent in keeping records of your milestones. We were too busy enjoying and basking in your cheery disposition to take precious time away to take notes. We do love you though.

On the road again...

You may know we live in Upstate New York. Well, not for long. D has accepted a job offer in Canada. So, by 1 July 2007, I have to:

1) Sell a house
2) Look for another house to move into
3) Move house contents across the border
4) Unpack house contents
5) Defend Ph.D thesis in NL
6) Apply for Canadian PR (involves getting police clearance from 3 bloody different countries)
7) Get Canadian citizenship for offspring
8) Make new friends...sigh

Suffice it to say I have just finished a bottle of vino tinto. Will get started on to do list tommorrow...fanfuckintistic.

Sasha received a very sweet postcard from Aunty Rara this morning. It will be a while before she can read it for herself, but I am sure she is well chuffed. I read it to her in the meantime. It will be displayed on the kitchen white board along with all the other postcards D and I send her from our travels. Well, yes, she is usually with us on our travels, but she still gets a postcard anyway. Anyone who knows me knows that I like sending postcards to family and friends. I decided a while back that I would send myself (and later D then Sash) postcards as sort of "souvenirs" from my gallivanting. I sometimes look at the postcards as I cook and think to myself, where will life take me next?

I find that Americans are obsessed with their coffee on the go. Or should I say their cup holders. If you read any review of cars or baby strollers, there will always be someone who mentions "cup holders". Try it...Google it. They now have Mercury cars with heated cup holders and another car make that has illuminated cup holders. Obsessed I tell you!

D is away yet again. This time he taking for the first time the direct flight to Changi from EWR. Longest commercial flight available I think. He will spend more time on SQ than in Singapore. It was a bit of a nightmare getting him off as the taxi which was meant to take him to the train station was very very late. So late that D had to drive his car to the station and leave it there. The bloody company did not even apologise so I immediately got online and gave it scathing reviews on every site that listed its number. This is a small town, so there were only 2 sites, but every little scathing review helps here. As I am not going to get any satisfaction screaming at the company operator, I am going to get my satisfaction screaming my dissatisfaction at potential clients.

While he is away I am taking the opportunity to figure out what to do for Valentines Day. I know, I know, I have ages, but when you have a baby you do what you can when you can. I thought of getting him a wallet, then an external battery for his laptop, but am settling on a one night stay at a historic hotel in Boston (JFK proposed to Jackie in the hotel resto...table 40). That is his favourite city and I find it more child friendly than NYC, so a-Boston we shall go. It is only a 90 minute drive away so Sash will not find it too tiring. Now to figure out how to book the carriage ride...

Reduce, Reuse and Recycle

Sasha is wearing the most adorable little outfit today. Green and purple checkered trousers, a lilac turtleneck body and a lilac BabyGAP hoodie. I cannot take credit for her excellent dress sense though. I have to thank my very generous neighbour. Yup, the same neighbour who watches our house when we are away also clothes our baby. How we got so lucky I don't know. She has a 3 year old girl so we get loads of hand me downs. And when I say loads, I mean bags and bags of near perfect, weather appropriate clothes. I asked her recently, as she passed me yet another bag of winter clothing, if she wanted the clothes back after Sasha is through with them. She said no, I am to keep them and pass them on to anyone once I am through with them. Sort of like a baby clothes pay-it-forward. I love this idea. Of course I have set aside certain outfits that Sasha may want to keep, like her going home sweater suit, her cukur jambul outfit, her first mary jane socks (they are socks that look like shoes), her first bikini, her first sweat suit, and her first hat. I have bags and bags of clothes that I will keep for the next one, but then what? I now know that I am to pass them on to another baby girl whose Mummy will reduce, reuse and recycle. But it is not as easy as it sounds. I thought of doing this to a friend of ours here who just had a baby girl, but I get a sense that she may find it insulting. I dont know her well enough to ask her. While I find hand me downs so very useful, another may find it demeaning. Sigh..

Dilemma

It was around midnight when I put Sasha to sleep. I looked out the window as I noticed it was snowing. That's when I saw her, the deer. She was sneaking up our front yard towards our bushes. Don't ask me what kind of bushes as am not a horticulturist. Refer to post about lack of green thumb. Presumably deer food bushes. I was upset that she was eating our bushes as I realised that she was probably the culprit that ate all our tulips last Spring. But I was also glad that she was getting nourishment as it was bitterly cold outside. Then I noticed another one crossing the road to join the buffet. I am now resigned to the fact that I will again have no flowers in front of the house this year. Our neighbour across the street has 13 acres of Forever Green land, a sort of reserve. As our street is within city limits, it is illegal for anyone to hunt the wild deer and turkeys on the reserve. Oh yes, did I mention the many turkeys that hang out in our front yard?

Belly ring Part 2

I found my old belly ring in a handbag I have not used for a while. A long while as I took the ring off in my second trimester. I am wearing my old belly ring and old handbag today. I remember getting my belly button pierced a few days after a fairly traumatic break-up. I say fairly in hindsight, but back then I was devastated, shattered, lost. I wonder if I will remember today, re-insertion day, just as vividly as I remember piercing day. While I am happy that I can actually see the ring when I look in the mirror, I am still dissatisfied with my lack of motivation to lose extra weight. I am still in my maternity Sevens, but then they are very comfortable. I know I should get a pair of non-maternity jeans, but who has time to shop. I have yet to go shopping on my own with Sash in tow. What do I do with the stroller when I enter the fitting room? I have the same problem when I travel on my own and need to take my luggage to the loo. Why can't they install, in addition to the Handicapped stall, a "With luggage" stall. I admit that sometimes I do use the much larger Handicapped stall when I don't think it is advisable to leave my luggage on their own outside the stall, but I have this fear that I will be depriving someone in her minute of need. Which is worse, to be the one caught using the Handicapped stall or the one with the suspicious luggage that is being surrounded by the airport security?

Tip of the day: If you intend to join the mile high club, use the handicapped loo on the plane. Alot more space.

What one question would you ask a psychic about the future?

We are in Boston for a few days. My fridge at home is full of rotting veggies. I am worried about the ice storm and ice build-up that may affect the huge trees we have in our backyard. I hope those trees are not on my roof or in my master bedroom (or any bedroom for that matter). Did I remember to stock up on firewood just in case we have a power outage? All this forgotten as we walk along Newbury Street, have a little stroll in the Boston Common (ever so carefully due to ice sheets)and imagine living in any of the beautiful houses on Beacon Hill. I love Boston. Such a beautiful, historical yet manageable city. And the Chowder...to die for.

We bought a new game called TableTopics. Just a bunch of overpriced flashcards with questions. We plan to take one out every day and just have fun. Yesterday it was What one question would you ask a psychic about the future?. Today it is If you had a tattoo what would you get and where would you put it? They also come as coasters. Bought a set for a friend celebrating...uh, who celebrated...her birthday on Monday. I know she will love them.

I had an odd dream last night. I dreamt I was with a few colleagues discussing a project. We had discovered a new way to heat and cool buildings. In my dream, we would use some sort of nuclear technology to make some sort of hot liquid which we would insert in concrete columns that make up the skeleton of the building. Here I must add that the actual technology is vague in the dream as I took Law in Uni, and there really was no Nuclear Physics elective available..even if there was the possibility of my being able to have taken it and passed would be as impossible as my inventing the solution to keep mankind warm. Anyway, back to my dream. So, we would add pipes with cold liquid (using the same nuclear technology but uh, in reverse) to keep the building cool. Sort of like having the whole building as a radiator. Then I woke up.