Settling down

It has been a hectic couple of weeks. Hectic, yet laziness personified. Still trying to get paperwork sorted out. D, Dylan's and Sasha's passports sent off in the mail for the passport exchange. They were initially given temporary passports to be exchanged via mail, and they will receive their new ones in the mail. After a 1 week wait, I finally received my forms to apply for a new passport. Filled them out yesterday, but needed to get a money order and passport photos. Unfortunately, although we use the new fangled chip, photos need to be taken against a blue background. I went to a few shops on the main strip here but they only did white biometric backgrounds. I was told I needed to go to the Philippine Embassy to get blue background ones taken as they still use the "old" technology. Luckily for me, the embassy is only 4 blocks away so I headed straight there. Found a shop that took Filipino passport photos and even they were surprised that Malaysia still used the blue background. The photographer seemed dammed proud that for once the Philippines were on par with Malaysia.

I still cant send the forms off because the photos and signatures need to be certified by either a notary public or the Honorary Consul in Toronto. I had no idea we used Honorary Consuls and I have no idea what they are or do, so of course I am trying to get hold of him to get documents certified and to ask what the hell he does. It has been 2 days, still no success. If he doesnt get back to me by tomorrow I am officially of the opinion that consuls are an absolute waste of taxpayer money and heading to the closest notary public. I just want to get the forms sent off because apparently it will take 3 months to get a new passport...3 months of no travelling and no picture ID. How ridiculous is that?? Even then they cannot guarantee that the process will be glitch free and it may even take longer than that. We are supposed to get back to KL in November but are now seriously reconsidering it because it will be pricey to book tickets so close to the proposed date of departure and we were planning to fly out via the US, and it is unlikely that I will be able to get my replacement US visa attached in time. Funny how I may not even be able to fly back to Malaysia because I may not be able to get my Malaysian passport in time.

Every other day I recall another card that I had in my wallet that needs replacing. Just today we thought of going to the ROM but then I remembered that I needed to replace our membership cards. I cannot take Dylan to his pediatrician as we are still waiting for the replacement health cards. I swear if given the choice I would just offer the thieves 3000 bucks cash...just give us our documents back. That's how much it has cost us to get our lives in order. I was just telling a friend that the thief's karma is so shot to hell after both D and I cursing seven generations with every venereal disease possible.

While the administrative side of my life has been a mess, my home life is generally summer lazy. Sasha is thrilled to be back with J and her little buddies, we go to the park on her off days, we put out the little splash pool of hot days, we play in the yard, we BBQ alot. Dylan is cruising like a demon and trying to stand up on his own. He is usually successful, but then we get excited and our clapping throws him off. He is demanding to eat everything we eat so he has had spag bol, sushi, sashimi, and burgers. We are happy to be home.

When given lemons, make limencello..

So last Saturday, at the Milan Central Train Station, on our way to St.Gallen, my diaper bag was stolen. I had set it down to check the car number and with all the confusion, rush we must have left it on the platform while we were loading 2 suitcases, 2 hand-luggages, a stroller and 2 kids. I realized I didn’t have it a couple of minutes as the train was about to leave and it was a mad scramble to get off the train as not only were Dylan’s milk, diapers and Sash’s sippy cup was in the bag, but also our passports, my wallet, camera and phone. We immediately cancelled the credit card that was in my wallet and sought help from the police. We realized the chances of getting our stuff back was close to nil when within 15 minutes of us being in the station, 3 other people walked in with the same problem. D worked with the police to make the report while I sat in the lobby feeling absolutely sick, nauseous even. I would have succumbed to tears but for Sasha asking me what was wrong.. I knew I had to be strong for the kids. We had told Sasha what had happened and while we wanted her to know what was happening, we didn’t want to scare her. After the report was made, we checked into a hotel near the station. They must get a lot of families in trouble as they immediately allowed us to check in without our passports and gave us an emergency family suite for an extremely reasonable price. We were given the addresses for both the Malaysian and Canadian embassies but after looking for them in vain, we realised that the Canadian consulate had closed down 2 years ago and the Malaysian consulate cannot issue emergency travel certs. So we headed out to Rome the next morning. I was still feeling like I was living a nightmare, even on the train going out and I kept pinching myself, hoping to wake up. Doug , in the meantime was an absolute rock star, reminding me that they were only passports and that the kids were safe, and it could have been much worse. He also took charge in Rome, getting things sorted out at the embassies and not once reminding me that I was in charge of the passports. He was of course very affected by the theft and kept an eagle eye on the kids as we were made aware of how we have been taking risks with the kids’ safety. We spent the mornings at the embassies but the afternoons were spent showing the sights to Sasha and Dylan. Sash and Doug had a Daddy –Daughter walk up and down the Spanish steps, I showed her how to throw a coin into the Trevi fountain to ensure a return visit, we had loads of aranciatas the many piazzas, and a gelato break at the Pantheon. Doug and I even took the kids to the hotel where we had our first dirty weekend way back in June 2004 (round the corner from the Trevi fountain), almost to the day. On Wednesday, we decided to walk to St Peter's Basilicca. We joined a queue as we thought it was the ticket line. We realised after a few minutes that everyone else had tickets and were about to leave when I decided to ask what they were lining up for. They were there for the Pope's mass as it was St Jean Baptiste day, apparently a big Catolic holiday. Then a lady gave us tickets and so we ended up in some seats waiting for the Pope for 2 hours. We were also told during our wait that our passports were ready. So at the age of 10 months and 3 years, Dylan and Sasha have attended a mass given by the Pope at the Vatican. Funny how fate intervenes I guess. We were dealt a horrible hand with the theft, but we were able to spend a few days in Rome, with 2 healthy kids, almost to the day of our first visit together. I now know that D is an absolute rock in times of crises and that the kids are so very resilient. I took Sash to the Prada mothership here in Milan to help me get another wallet and she chose a red one. She said “Mummy, your red wallet was stolen by Swiper so you should get another red one.” The saleslady agreed that this was logical. When given lemons, we make limencello.

We leave Milan in a couple of days. Sasha, because we had her Canadian citizenship card with us, was issued a new passport in one day by the embassy. She was travelling under her US passport but that didn’t matter. D and Dylan have been issued 2 year temporary passports. In my case, the Malaysian embassy in Rome cannot issue passports but they can issue emergency travel certificates, which I was told is not recognized by Canada. When I was told this I asked what my options were..the officer suggested we fly back to KL. Instead of telling him to bugger off I had to explain that we could not afford to spend 10,000 dollars just to get my passport reissued…what the hell is the point of embassies anyway? He again said that he could only issue the certificate. He asked if I had another citizenship I could revert to ie he was fishing to see if I had Canadian or US citizenship. I wanted to tell him that if I had those would I bloody be at his embassy considering the US embassy issues new passports in one hour and the Canadian one within the day. I told him to issue the apparently useless cert and I would sort it out with the Canadian side. We went back to the Canadians and they issued an entry visa within the hour in view of our emergency situation and in view of my being married to a Canadian. In our visits to the embassy over the few days we were in Rome, we met many other people in the same situation. One lady said that when she walked round the corner and saw the Canadian flag, she almost wept. She had her bag stolen in Milan too. I can relate…the next time I have to deal with a Malaysian embassy I will probably weep too.

Milano Summer

D reached home in record time. He drove home at 150km/h with another conference presenter O who had to also catch a 6pm flight to Boston. He was planning to catch a bus from Kingston but it would have been cutting it very close. So we had enough time to have a nice pizza lunch alfresco before the taxi arrived. O has a very young daughter, he also works in the area of VC and his marriage is also bi-racial. So much in common but he is knee deep in the quintessential publish or perish problem. He has just moved to another University because he is having trouble publishing, which we find strange as he has a BSD (big swinging d*%k) supervisor. Usually that will ensure a smooth path. He is torn between finding a great home for his family in his new location or just finding one that has the specs to ensure easy resale when he moves on to the next University (if he publishes) or moves cities if he decides to get out of the game (perish). We suggested to him that if he cites the right people (ehm ehm) he may just find some very friendly referees.

In the rush of getting everything sorted out and loaded in the taxi, we only realized that we had forgotten the stroller when we reached the airports. We had the new Pikollo front pack for Dylan that I had just bought so it wasn’t that much of a problem at the airports, but we knew we had to get one in Milan as I would be stuck in the hotel without one. Lugging a 32 pound baby on my back while dragging along a whiny Sash to the Duomo would just be self inflicted torture.
The flight out was uneventful other that the realization that Dylan is an absolute handful on flights. He is usually pretty hyper at home but at least we are able to let him burn off all that energy and determination by letting him crawl around..on flights he had to be on our laps at all times so he was just a bundle of hyperactive joy. Sash was an absolute gem and pretty much entertained herself by “doing work” on her Cinderella laptop. We bought Sasha a couple of outfits she liked when we arrived in Milan to thank her for listening to us. We are rethinking taking Dylan on any other flights until he turns 5 when we can put him on an earlier flight on his own as an unaccompanied minor.

When we arrived in Milan D and I were just about ready to pass out from lack of sleep but the kids were up and ready to go and we knew we had to find a stroller so upon the concierge’s advice, and after a couple of espressos, we found a baby boutique a couple of blocks from our hotel. Not our usual sort of destination when looking for baby gear but with the language constraints (we spent about 10 minutes at another store where the proprietor nearly sold us a doll stroller) we just decided to bite the bullet. Initially we were thinking of getting the cheapest umbrella stroller but the cheapest they had was €95. Instead, we opted to spend a bit more and get a travel side by side double stroller, the Maclaren Twin Triumph. It folds like a dream and is so very light. It really wont replace our Phi&Teds as that is narrower and maneuvers in all weather, but at least we wont need to take that along with us on flights. I have had people ask why we don’t just let Sash walk, but I have to remind them that when we take in the sights, Sash may be expected to walk all day, and as I do this on my own when D is working, a single stroller isn’t the most practical option. We have already invested so much in the flights and hotels, so why not a bit more in the required equipment to make it an enjoyable experience.

After dinner we had trouble getting Dylan to bed as he was extremely tired, and his crib was not his own. He cried for what seemed liked ages and we even received calls from the management. A man who had a room downstairs knocked on our door and told us he was trying to sleep and to “do something with the baby!” I was getting pissed mainly due to sleep deprivation and also because my baby was upset and some fuckwit had the gall to suggest that we were not trying to deal with it. Did he think we liked the screaming? We finally got Dylan to bed but I was still upset about that man. In the morning, D went down to breakfast as he had to be at the conference early. He rushed up before he left to tell me that he arrived at the restaurant to fin Mr. Fuckwit sitting with my supervisor J who is also here for the conference. D said he had a “Oh my God what have I done” when J introduced them both and mentioned that I was D’s co-author and also his student (PhD students are never ex-students..we will always be tied to our supervisors in some inexplicable manner. A few weeks ago I presenter a paper at a conference in Toronto and D’s supervisor was in the audience. It sort of freaked me out as in my mind it was sort of like having my father in law in the audience. No, let me correct that. D cares more about what his supervisor thinks than what his Dad thinks). He asked if the kids were here and that we should meet up later this afternoon. So we all had G&Ts this evening in the bar downstairs…J was able to have a nice chat with Sash and we explained to her that when she does her PhD J will be her teacher. She seemed resigned. After drinks I went off for dinner while D went off to his dinner. He came home early to tell me that at his table, sitting 2 seats away there was a woman telling the rest of the table about this baby crying in her hotel..and she said “Why couldn’t they just stick a pacifier in the baby’s mouth?”. She also proudly told everyone she called management to complain. D just said “Well, that’s funny. I am at that hotel and I have a baby with me. He was having trouble adjusting after our flight from Toronto.” That’s all D said and excused himself as he was just too tired to deal with Ms. Fuckwit. The thing is we realize that the crying may have disturbed many people, but to suggest that we were what, enjoying the bloody spa while we let him cry?? Just goes to show that as easy it is to make contact with potential friendly referees, it is just as easy to make some unfriendly ones remember you for life.

On the road again..

D is in Kingston at a conference. We leave for Milan on Tuesday evening. If all goes well, D should be back just in time to park the car and wait for the airport limo. If all does not go well, he may be just in time to meet us at the airport and I will have to load up the two kiddies, a stroller, luggage and a car seat myself. If all goes terribly wrong, I am to get to Milan first and he will catch the first flight out. Fingers crossed.

As I type this Sash is watching a Barbie DVD, I think it is called Mermadia. A fluff movie comprising fairies, mermaids and cute furry pets. Sasha heaven. Dylan is wrecking the room. He has spread the mini Ritz crackers all over the carpet and is systematically crushing them with his bum. He will get bored of that and want to climb onto the sofa where his sister is. He has to be and do wherever and whatever Sasha is doing. He has been cruising like the devil for the past 6 weeks but is getting frustrated that he cannot walk yet. So we have to walk him all over the place. My back is killing me. He has started opening drawers and getting into cupboards. he has broken one glass and a bowl. He is proving to be an almighty handful. But still rather entertaining.

I bought some peanut butter and grape jelly this morning thinking I would take it along with me to Italy/Switzerland as PBJs seem to be the only thing Dylan will eat. He has improved vastly and is able to eat little pieces of the sandwich. He still mainly survives on milk but at least he is able to chew and swallow bread. He still refuses to have any mushed food so I have all but given up on that. But then I thought what the hell am I doing? I am going to Italy and taking along jars of peanut butter and jelly. I am now convinced that I have lived in North America way too long. So I took the jars out of the luggage and Dylan will just have to learn to like pasta or milk it will be. Well, at least it will be Swiss milk.

Second Cumming

Being a first child myself, I have never been able to empathize when second or younger siblings gripe about the unfairness of birth order. Raising a second child however has opened my eyes. Take this morning as an example. After taking to Sasha to J's on her trike, where we chatted, told "why did the chicken cross the road" jokes, and talked about what she would be doing today, I just felt like chilling at home doing nothing. Dylan woke up 4 times last night, twice to drink his milk and twice to just cuddle. But that would mean Dylan would be doing nothing too. It was just too tempting..to have him play in front of the TV while I caught up with the newspapers and mags. But I recalled those gripes, especially D's gripes with his being the youngest of SEVEN, and got off my ass and took him to the park where we met a new neighbour H who was with her own Mum's group. Actually, H isnt really a "new" neighbour as she moved to the street about 3 months after we did. It's just that we've only just met as a result of the street yard sale we had recently. Her son was born a day after Dylan. She has also placed her son on J's waitlist so both of them will be at J's together. To give you an idea how 100 metres matter in this hood, she lives approximately 30 houses away..and our frontages are less than 25 feet...how we had never met before is a mystery. So Dylan played with the other babies a bit, we went on the swings and we tried out the slide. Usually I am multitasking with Sash in the mix and it is always nice to give him one on one park time. New resolve. Spend quality time with Dylan. Second one. To read to him more. We started reading to Sash from day 1. To this day she is read to every night, at least 3 books..sometimes up to 5. Over the course of her life, she has been bought a new book every 3 days..she has ALOT of books. We have tried reading to Dylan many times but unlike Sash who would snuggle in our laps and listen attentively, he would try and grab the book, either tear at it or bite/chew it and after that launch himself off our laps onto the floor. Head first usually. I guess I could try reading to him on the floor. As it is he already has his first black eye. He knocked his face into the step stool yesterday.

After the park, I took him to get his first pair of shoes. He has started cruising and I fear that his socks wont protect his feet from little twigs and gravel. My baby boy is growing up....and wearing his Puggles..

Summer chaos

I love Summer. I am wondering when it will reach Toronto though. It has been raining and it has been chilly. It is June and my boiler still kicks in at night. What's up with that??!! Granted, there are the nice days in between where impromptu BBQs are in order..





When the outdoor toys are in use..



And when we are able to feel the grass between our toes...



Hopefully there will be more of those days to come.

I haven't been blogging for a while. Almost impossible to find the time. When the weather is nice we immediately head out to the backyard, the park, the anywhere outside. When the weather is crappy, I am racking my brains trying to figure out how to keep the kids entertained. It is much more difficult now as Dylan is far more active than he was a month ago, pulling himself up, coasting and wanting to be and doing what his sister is doing. He has also dropped his morning nap but takes a longer afternoon nap. Whatever free time I have is taken up by mundane things like weeding, dealing with landscaping quotes, arranging for raccoon removals (we had two trapped last night and we are setting up a few more traps just in case..the service will remove them and relocate them humanely..) and other home related issues. Dylan, like Sash, stopped eating his baby food at 9 months. So he has for the past 3 weeks been experimenting with finger foods. We are able to get some cereal into him maybe once every 3 days..but so far he is surviving on milk and Cheerios. He has since his 8 month birthday been on whole milk after getting the OK from his pediatrician, but as he is on his hunger strike, he is back on formula. Frustrating to say the least. Having said that he is as alert as ever and extremely active, so I guess lack of food is bothering me more than him.

To deal with his reactive lung, I decided to bite the bullet and get a Dyson with the hepa-filter. We have had a few vacuums and yes, they do lose suction power over time. I told D when we were in San Diego for our 4th wedding anniversary that I didnt want jewelry. I wanted a Dyson. He thought it was a sick joke I was playing. I was serious and this morning I dragged him down the street to get my present. He still thinks its a joke and soon every woman on the block will be taking the piss about the cliche "vacuum" present. I am thrilled, thrilled, thrilled with my new vacuum. I have been doing a bit of research about asthma and reactive lungs and by God I will do all I can to make sure Dylan or Sash dont get it. I was reading this article in the Economist about the link between eczema and asthma the other day and have chucked all non-organic bath and body washes. Dylan has always used organic but Sasha has for a while used more generic Johnsons or the like. They will both share body washes and shampoos now. I may be paranoid, but hey, just because you are not paranoid it doesnt mean no one is watching you.

The days have been endless but the weeks have just flown by. Why is that always the case? Dylan's bronchial infection was apparently just that, an infection. However, on the day he finished his course of Biaxin, he developed a cold. The downside of having Sasha in daycare. So he was congested again. But this time it was a stuffy nose instead of a stuffy chest. So a week of that resulted in him losing his appetite for yet another week and about a pound and a half. However, in view of the fact that at 8 months he is the size of a North American 1 year old, the weight loss is apparently nothing for us to worry about. Around this time I gave up on channelling my inner Martha as I kept having to throw away the food I had painstakingly made, which in addition to his not eating, made it doubly frustrating. So I switched to jars of food, which was less painful to chuck after a spoonful. He has started eating again although we are back to square one which is simple pureed fruits..sigh..just as we were on to avocado and cottage cheese. We are also just getting back into the usual nap schedule and instead of getting up every 2 hours (I swear, it was like having a newborn again), he only wakes up twice for his milk (which we are transitioning into whole milk by mixing half formula and half whole milk). Before his infections, he was going through the night without milk, but I guess we have to take small steps towards that goal again. Also, as I am trying to get him to hold his bottle, his fast flow size 3 nipples have been swapped back to size 2's, so he wont choke, but this increases his feed times from 5 minutes to 15. Ah well, as long as he learns to hold his own bottle soon. Funnily enough, even when sick, he is such a happy camper. Laughing, giggling, grabbing at things, launching himself off the sofa, and torturing Sasha. I hated his being sick, but one day as I was walking Sasha to daycare I was able to put things into perspective. Ahead of us on the sidewalk was a boy in a wheelchair with his carer. He was obviously paralyzed from neck down. So while I found it such a chore to wake up every 2 hours, at least I knew that time would heal Dylan and he is still my healthy happy bunny. Thats all that matters right?

D is in Europe again so I am not only sleep deprived but also surviving on cereal and coffee. I am just too lazy to cook anything for myself. So lazy that I actually walked to the end of the block and bought myself a tuna salad sandwich for lunch. How sad is that.

To keep myself busy, I have been gathering stuff around the house to sell at the yard sale we are organizing week after next. I am seriously surprised how much junk we have. I am also amazed at how much of Sasha's clothes we still have left after giving away 2 suitcases full recently. We have another 2 suitcases..I swear..when did she wear all these clothes? I also notice that from age 2 onwards, I seem to have only gone to the Gap around the corner..again, I am reminded of how lazy I am. Pricing everything for $2 each...which is a steal considering there are barely used Laura Ashley and Ralph Lauren dresses and Gap outfits galore. I initially thought of holding the sale ourselves, then decided to invite a couple of neighbours thinking the more the merrier. Since 4 of us were planning to sell our kids stuff, I figured I would just ask around if other neighbours would be interested. So far we will have 16 houses selling stuff from snowboards, skis, furniture, china, lamps, and lots of clothes (we are thinking of calling it the GapKids resale sale). It is now a street sale. Should be fun and a great way to recycle and reuse..keep those toys out of the landfills.

We went in for Dylan's monthly and Sasha's bi-annual medical check-up yesterday. Sasha is doing well, Dylan not so well. The congestion that he has been getting on and off has been diagnosed as a bronchial infection. There are 2 possible reasons for his bronchitis, an infection or some other form of irritant. We are treating it as an infection and dosing him with Biaxin. Hopefully it works because the alternative is that we dose him with Ventolin and other steroids via inhaler as the bronchitis may then be irritant based. And of course the obligatory visit to the allergist to determine what is causing all the problems. So far he seems to be doing better, although I may just be projecting. We have been on high alert to catch any potential allergic reactions, but touch wood, so far so good. Doug is supposed to fly off to the UK this evening but he has cancelled his trip. The idea that a severe allergic reaction could occur while he is away for a presentation sort of freaked him out. The only other problem is giving him the medication, which is still bitter even with the Bubble Gum added flavour. I never know what to do when he gags and pukes whatever little bit he has had. I have been told not to top up as this may be dangerous (main reason why they have banned cold flu and cough medication for below 2s...parents tend to top up, babies get an overdoses and severe complications and even death occur). I have to call my pediatrician tomorrow to follow up..hopefully we dont have to go in and get the inhaler. My poor baby boy...

On a different note, Sasha is doing extremely well with her potty training. She no longer wears diapers at home during the day. While I still have to ask her on occasion if she wants to potty, especialy when she is playing, she has more often than not told me when she wants to pee pee or poo poo..yup, she even doing #2 in her flower and Dora potties. I still have her in diapers when we are out and about but that is more so for my own convenience because I find it impossible to take her to a public loo when I have Dylan with me. She has on occasion requested that she keep her panties on and promised "not to have an accident Mummy". I guess it is true..they will do it when they are ready and there is no point in forcing them into it. I remember the angst of potty training last year...and I cant believe how easy it has been the second time around. I also cant believe how much poo my tiny little girl produces...

The 3 day extravaganza is past. I am just now getting more comfortable with having a 3 year old as opposed to a 2 and a half year old. How time flies.

Last Thursday, we had her first celebration at her daycare. Pizza and cupcakes from The Cupcake Shoppe and loot bags for all. We had a similar celebration last year but this year, it was very different. Sasha was more excited and she not only participated but helped me with choosing the theme, Dinosaurs and Fish, helped me choose the plates to be used and more importantly the little gifts for her friends. We settled on a little toy car placed in mini-chinese take-away style containers filled to the brim with Easter chocolates and jelly beans. We even had fun assembling the 8 loot bags. Apparently she had fun and she let R, the little boy with an uber creepy crush on her sit next to her. R is 3.5, is a foot taller than Sash, cute but has informed me that he loves Sasha because she is very exciting to play with. Uber creepy...well, as far as a 3 year old can get.

On Friday, we started the day with the opening of presents. We had a few as Doug tends to go crazy when it comes to buying toys for her. I let him buy whatever he wants because..well, he just likes doing it so much.





After a waffle and rainbow sprinkle breakfast, a bath, we measured her, as we do annually, and headed out to the Ontario Science Center.







It was amazing, impressive even. We had heard that it is great for kids, and although it is literally a 10 minute drive away, we have never been. One of those next weekend sort of outings. Are we ever glad that we did. The Center is huge. I was imagining it to be a small building with a couple of exhibits and maybe that static electricity machine thing for kids. Instead, it had an Imax theatre, many floors with various exhibits with cool themes like electricity, chemistry, the planetarium...you get the drift. More importantly, it had a KidSpark designed specifically for kids under 8 to enjoy scientific based play.



After spending what seemed like hours at the KidSpark, we watched an underwater themed Imax movie narated by Jim Carrey. Sasha's first movie in a real movie theatre. We headed home soon after and prepared ourselves for the next day.

The last event of the 3 day extravaganza was her party at Kidnasium with 8 other little friends and their parents. I decided to keep the group small and limited to the neighbours and one best friend from Daycare. The parents were also going to be there and I also wanted them to feel comfortable. It was Toddlers Gone Wild. The ran, they jumped, they screamed...all that under the watchful eye of the Kidnasium staff. Games were organized and to be honest all I had to do was light the sparkler candle for her cupcakes (finger foods only so cutlery was not needed)



After all that activity, the kids sat down for their pizza, which was ordered by the staff, juice and cheese. Desert was dinosaur and fish cupcakes from Lollicakes, with the fish and cupcakes made from Belgium chocolates.



I wanted the kids' loot to be a surprise even for Sasha so I ordered them all personalized crayon holders. I am not a fan off buying a bunch of toys and stuff for loot bags so I figured something useful would be appreciated.





After Kidnasium, we headed back to ours. I started filling up the ice buckets while Doug went round the corner to pick up the sushi...lots of sushi. We herded the kids down to the basement, stuck in a Sleeping Beauty DVD and made a couple of bags of popcorn. While the kids were zoned out on the couches (thanks Kidnasium) the adults enjoyed a quick dinner, a couple of glasses of wine and each other's company. By 9pm everything was cleaned and the dishwasher running.



All in all it was fun and more importantly Sasha was involved right from the beginning. Maybe next year she can plan her own 4 day extravaganza.

It has been a while since I have been able to spare the time to post anything here. Not that I haven't woken up at 2.30 am and thought of something witty and urbane to post...only to totally forget whatever it was and be inundated with life in the latter morning.

After coming back from our visit to Winnipeg, I have been busy getting things together for Sasha's 3rd Birthday 3 Day Extravaganza. That coupled with the outings to the park to take advantage of the great weather...well, there are only so many waking hours in a day.

Our visit to see Gord was short and sweet, unlike him..hahahaha. Kidding. He is a big (huge) teddy bear as far as I am concerned. As usual, we ate out every night. Not that I didnt offer to cook, but hey, I wasnt going to push it. We usually end up at the usual restaurants (Greek, Fusion, Thai, Grill), although this time we had a special treat at a restaurant that is owned by the son of someone Gord helped ages ago. Instead of choosing our meal from the menu, we left the decision up to the owner..so out came an antipasto platter, lobster bisque and an entree comprising lobster, fillet Mignon, foie gras, monk fish and some other fish I had never heard off but hey, I trusted the guy. It was a fun dinner and not only because of the quality of the food and excellent service, but to see the pride on Gord's face as it was his presence that enabled us to get the extraordinary service.



When we were not out eating, we stayed at home playing pool in the basement, fooling around on the piano an just watching TV. For us it was a holiday, unlike the ones we take when we travel and need to get out there and do things.







On our last day we attended the kids' cousin Emily's birthday. Sasha was the youngest girl there but that didnt stop her from trying to emulate the "big girls". There was cookie decorating, swimming and bowling after. Fun.










Hopefully we will be able to get back to Winnipeg soon. The last time we were there it was in May for Aunt Hilda's funeral...how time flies.

Sasha is going in for her dentist's appointment this afternoon. I am waiting for the repairman to replace the control board for the oven (In my next life I am going to do repairs..$80 for the call out, $25 for every 15 minutes, and tip. Lets not talk about the cost of the control panel which is $400..luckily it is still under warranty.) My Phil & Ted is in the shop as the wheel came off. It has been wonky since its last flight. Must remember to claim damages from Air Canada. Busy, busy, busy...

Academics are a funny lot. We all know the old adage, publish or perish. Among academics however there is also the I publish therefore I am. I am cited, therefore I continue to be. To give you an idea of how deeply ingrained this is, I will take Profs X and Y. Prof X has just moved here from the States with his family. He needed help getting a pediatrician as he was not familiar with the Canadian system. Because medical is "free", it really isnt just a matter of walking into an office and showing your health card. First you have to find a doctor who is taking new patients. Not so easy as the good ones have long wait lists. Then ideally you find one that isnt 30 miles away in some dodgy neighbourhood especially since you will be seeing the pediatrician least 20 times the first year alone. Sometimes you get lucky but more often than not you have to get an existing patient to "recommend" you..yup, cronyism survives in socialist systems. So I was recommended by a neighbour and I in turn recommended Prof X. I wondered why he was keen on seeing Dr F as he doesnt live in the neighbourhood. But hey, whatever rocks his boat. So last night D hitched a ride from Prof Y from the airport. During the ride it seems that Prof Y was hinting that he needed to change pediatricians. D did some digging and found out that Prof X had told Prof Y that Dr F is apparently not only a good pediatrician but more importantly, he is published, and even more significant, he is also very much cited due to the relevance of his research. D thinks I am genius for finding a published and cited pediatrician.I am not about to tell him that the extent on my criteria for choosing Dr F was that he be less than 2 blocks away. I am definitely not an academic at heart.

Its not often that I meet someone that totally rubs me the wrong way. If I must say so myself, I am pretty easy going and can get along pretty much with everyone I meet. This afternoon, while I was in the front yard having a chat with a couple of neighbours while watching the kids play with what we hope to be the last of the snow, I noticed a lady who had just moved into a house nearby. We all said the usual hellos and she stayed to chat. It all started well, and we discovered she had just moved from the States. Then after a while she started whinging about things. I hate whingers. I just feel like telling the whinger to suck it up. The conversation turned to us all becoming frugalistas, and she-formerly-of-the-US started complaining how bad service was in TO (its a big city stupid), how small the houses are (for what you can afford you mean) and how expensive things were (where were you living? Hicksville?). She went on this rant about how expensive milk is here. I mean...I can understand if you find settling in difficult, we have all been there, done that, bought the T-Shirt, but to rant and bitch about milk of all things in the presence of some obviously increasingly irate Canadians you know from Adam..well, that is just plain stupid. But on and on she went about the expensive milk, the packaging, the taste. I really couldn't say much in defense of Canadian milk because 1) I have only lived here less than a couple of years and 2) I take lactose-free milk so I have no idea how much her milk costs. Funnily enough, one of the nicer neighbours kindly, through gritted teeth, pointed out that milk in the US is genetically modified and Canada forbids the sale of GM food. Perhaps that may explain the price differential? She placated the lady by telling her that it does take most Americans time to get used to "safe" milk ...hahahahaha..I nearly laughed out loud at that. The less nicer neighbours had already ignored her for ages and was conversing amongst themselves..probably bitching about her. She excused herself pretty soon after that but I suspect we will not be seeing her at any of the local gatherings soon. Apparently her husband is also an ass.

Sasha asked me last night as we were reading her bedtime books in my bed where we got Daddy from? I asked her to explain the question. She asked if we bought him at the store. I explained to her that no, I met Daddy. She asked again if I went with her to get Daddy at the store because she didnt remember. I explained to her again that I met Daddy in Cambridge and then after that we made her. She sounded a bit confused so I had to explain that we were in existence before her, then we made her ourselves. I dont know what upset her more, the idea that we didnt go shopping for Daddy or that we were there/are here before her. She is very competitive and she has to be first at everything (she does not get that from me). So this morning I called up a company that builds, maintains and harvests small home vegetable plots. I have been getting Sasha involved in making Dylan's food, in making dinner and baking, to get her used to the idea that we dont always eat at restaurants. I guess the next step is to make it clear to her that not everything can or should be bought at the corner store (not Daddies, and sometimes not veggies). I am fully aware that I could never maintain a vegetable patch so I am calling in the professionals. She doesnt have to know that we are not planting and maintaining the gardens ourselves. I will arrange for the maintenance people to come in while she is at daycare and as far as she is concerned the veggies are growing with our love and sweat equity. Now to prepare myself for the "What do you mean you made me?" question...

They grow so very fast..

It is about that time to start planning Sasha's birthday party. Her 3rd. Her first comprised us and 2 other couples toasting our successfully keeping her alive for 365 days with 3 bottles of champers. Her second party was a bit more lively with the neighbours sharing a brunch. Her third will be different in that it is now more difficult to entertain a bunch of nearly-threes in our teeny-tiny home, so we are splitting the difference. The plan is to entertain the kids at Sasha's gymnastics studio for a couple of hours on Saturday evening (Booked in December for April party). As the party will end at 6pm, it really wouldnt be fair to have the 4 or 5 sets of parents agonize over dinner plans so we are thinking an after party at ours...a quick dose of sushi and wine...then off to bed for the hopefully knackered kids. Beauty is that the after party will probably only be an hour as most of the kids here sleep at 7pm..and we can get the sushi delivered so no real effort on our parts, except to enjoy Sasha's special day. But as they say, the best laid plans...The only problem is that she has requested a dinosaur/Nemo theme. I just know that if I start preparations this early, she will want to have a Princess themed party oh say, 3 hours before her party. But too late, and I will not be able to get a baker to sort out a co-mingling of dinos and fish on a cake, which also has to be nut-free (but not kosher as birthday is on the sabbath anyway) and gluten free. Decisions, decisions...

May the force be with him

I was just going through some pics to upload on Facebook when I realized that I should upload a couple here. These pictures were taken at Dylan's cukur jambul held at my aunts house in PJ (a suburb of KL). It was joint cukur jambul with her granddaughter, my cousin's daughter, Eva Zahara. I figured it was to be a small affair as they were both second kids. Did not factor in his Grandma being in charge of the guest list.



The upside was that we were able to catch up with practically half the family in one afternoon, which was good as we flew to Phuket a couple of days after. So Dylan was able to say a warm hello to his great-grandma..





Get a brief light saber lesson from his ever helpful Uncle...he is a Jedi after all..



Get his first trim..I mean , when else will your barber use solid gold scissors..



Play with Tot..



Most importantly, the sibblings were all there to celebrate with Dylan.

Why we do what we do

You may be wondering why I am so morbidly obsessed with squaring things off for my kids. Well, as they say, blame it on my childhood. My Mummy died when I was 12 and my bio-brother 10. She had a will drafted on her deathbed appointing our guardians (she didn't want us to live with our father...whole nother story altogether) and specifying that all assets be distributed as per Shariah law ie 2/3 for my brother and 1/3 for me. To make up for the inequality, all her jewelry and that she inherited from her grandmother and mother would be given to me. She died a couple of days after signing the will. To give you an idea of the problems we were to face later, my brother and I, who held vigil at her bed, were instructed by my father and my Mummy's friends to never leave her alone as they suspected that her sisters and their kids and other relatives would draft a "will" of their own and have my mother place a thumbprint. We made sure that my mother was not left alone and luckily there was only one will that was used to salvage whatever assets possible and more importantly to ensure that we would not be forced to live with my mother's relatives. My father had no problem with not getting a share as some father's may have had. He loved us, and still does, but he had his own issues to deal with. The jewelry that Mummy had the foresight to place in safekeeping with my appointed guardians I still have and wear today. The jewelry that was handed down to her by her grandmother and mother was kept for safekeeping with her sister. I have no idea what happened to them. Some jewelry that she had bought specifically for me before she died, that I can remember, like a set of Mikimoto pearl earrings, an Italian tri-coloured gold bracelet and necklace, my aunt kept while Mummy was in the hospital. I recall seeing my cousin wear them right after Mummy's death. I was 12. Raised to respect my elders. I held my tongue. I hope that bitch rots in hell. Most of Mummy's assets were land-based. Her parents were rather well off land owners in Perak, a fertile state. Unfortunately, alot of the lands had not had title transferred as her sister dealt with all those mundane issues..Mummy just collected her monthly/annual rents. When she died, I was asked to open an account so that rent monies could be transferred directly. Suffice it to say, the account was left idle. I do remember being asked to go back once to Perak to visit the family, and against my father's advice, I went. The visit mainly consisted of they family bitching about my father and asking me to take some money out from the account to pay for prayers for my Mummy at her grave..a couple of thousand dollars...so much for doing it for brownie points. It was at that bank that I decided that my mother's family could fuck off and die. I was 15..young, but not freaking stupid. But still, I held my tongue.

I didn't have anything to do with them until my brother came of age and he wanted to get things sorted out. He was more keen to meet up with the family etc. I went along with it because I felt he needed to figure out his relationship with them in his own way. My father again told us to just cut our losses. My bro was surprised that after all these years, we had not received any rental monies, and none of the taxes on the lands had been paid. He began to come to the realisation that we had been buggered all those years. So he and I decided to try and get as much as we could liquidated and write off the whole branch of our family tree. The first deal involved selling off a small piece of land somewhere in the state for 300 grand. We figured if things went well we would just continue to sell everything and not have to see the family again. Well, things didn't turn out that way. Mummy's sister brokered the deal as she needed the money. Bro was by then living overseas so I had power of attorney and dealt with my Aunt's attorneys. We were surprised at the amount we received as we were expecting a tad more. So when I went to the lawyer's office to pick up the cheque I asked why this was so. Apparently, my aunt charged us 30 grand for expenses. 5 grand for hotels and 1 grand in taxi fares. Mind you, although she lives in KL, the land is in the freaking boonies so she would have been hard pressed to get a presidential suite for that amount. The lawyer mentioned that the expenses were incurred in Penang..a small island where her daughter, my cousin lives. 1 grand in taxi fares?? The lawyer just shrugged and said that Datin (yup, my bloody aunt had a title)specified the expenses. The only saving grace was that she screwed other members of the family too. And then, get this, as I was freaking boiling, the lawyer had the audacity to ask if I could introduce her to my father Datuk J just in case he needed a lawyer for his deals. She then went on to discuss a few other pieces of land that my aunt wanted to sell. I fuckin lost it, just lost it, at that stage. I smiled, and told her that it was extremely unlikely that my father would want to meet her because he absolutely and unequivocally detests my aunt and every other member of my Mummy's family. So therefore, by relation, he would pretty much hate her too. She looked surprised and then asked why my father would feel that way. I pointed out that my aunt just screwed us around for this one deal, and imagine what she has been doing to us all those years. So no, in answer to her question, we will not deal with any member of the family for any future sales and she can tell my aunt that as far as were were concerned, the family is dead to us. I walked out then and my brother and I, to this day, have refused to have anything to do with them. I felt so good about finally saying something that I gave my bro the whole amount. As my father said later, its better to leave the land to the monkeys than to be treated like a monkey.

On Monday, the same day that we had 80 cupcakes delivered in the form of a 4 foot tiered arrangement to my Father-in-law's office for his birthday, we met with our lawyer to finalize our wills. Hopefully we will also one day receive an abundance of baked good on our 80th birthdays from our kids, but just in case, we had to make arrangements.

We learned so much from L. First, we had to make sure that we had named beneficiaries for all insurance policies, pension policies and other investment accounts. If not, the monies will be given to the estate first and probate taxes charged on top of usual taxes. We also had to name the kids as alternate beneficiaries. We need not identify personal items to be disbursed in the will, but instead all such wishes be listed in a Letter of Wishes which shall be signed and witnessed and attached to the will. We had to also draft a living will in the event both of us are incapacitated and needed an adult to make health decisions or decide to pull the plug so to speak. We also needed to give power of attorneys to our executors to handle our funds when we are incapacitated. Good idea to not have the same person or persons with both living will and asset power of attorneys...duh. We had identified the guardians, executors and health decider, but we had not thought of alternates for such people in the event something happens to them. It was actually kind of difficult to think of people who we knew would do these things for us. We were also told to attach to the will summary documentation about all assets and investments. According to L, while we were thinking of dying in a plane crash, it is more probable that we will die in a house fire and as such all our documentation will be destroyed so to be safe, copies must be kept with the lawyers. We were also asked what would happen if all 4 of us perished together. We have decided to have our executors use the estate to set up a scholarship fund, if possible, at Cambridge University in Sasha and Dylan's name. That is where D and I met, and it would be a legacy that Sash and Din Din would be proud off.

D is in Amsterdam for a few days so I am a single mum again. I think I shall take this opportunity to try and get Dylan to sleep through the night. Good luck to me.

Lots of crafts

The Lion is roaring before the Lamb so we have been staying in with craft sessions galore. So far we have painted a tea set.







Lots of painting...



Drawing...





and just basic clowning around.









Spring where the hell are you???