Saturday at home

It is one of those spring days where it is sunny enough but still hovering just above zero..so after ballet in the morning, and a short stop at Starbucks, we mainly stay indoors with a short trip to the park to get some fresh air. That doesnt mean we cant pretend its Spring in full bloom inside..







Dylan isnt really bothered if we stay indoors as long as he has his car/plane/bike inside to play with..boys and their toys.



And this is the look he gives me when he gets scolded for ramming his car/plane/bike into a piece of furniture..



How can I stay angry for long?

A kind neighbour offered to have Dylan over for a playdate with her son so I could have some Dylan-less time with Sasha. Well, it was Dylan, her son and her nanny, but who's counting. I thought of taking the opportunity to buy some groceries and run some errands, but decided to get our nails done instead. I only really get pedicures as my nails are beyond redemption. Sasha had full mani-pedi..as usual. I think Sasha really needed some "alone" time as she has been away from her daycare since last week (J is having a break at an all-inclusive resort in Jamaica) and Dylan has been in her face every waking minute.



The girly-girl



Comparing nail jobs

Dylan has been missing his Daddy. It is Spring hence D starts his travels. This week Koln. He wakes up screaming for his Daddy and falls asleep asking for his Daddy...but at least he is his usual chipper self in between.

I scream, you scream..

I dont know about other parents of toddlers, but I find I am becoming a screamer. I read somewhere recently that this generation of parents have been termed the Generation of Screamers. I think it has something to do with our inability to deal with the frustration of trying to discipline without resorting to the threat of physical harm. And if you have a couple of stubborn, pig headed, and manipulative kids (and I say this with all my love) with a definite taste for adventure and theatrics, this is a challenge. I remember when I was a kid I used to get pinched..seriously pinched, by my parents if I even looked at them the wrong way..lets not go into throwing food into their faces/onto floor/onto other kids heads. If I broke something in the house..which I did often..although it was wholly the ball's fault..I got smacked. I dont recall them hitting me after that age..well, unless I was seriously and ridiculously bad. I never considered these forms of discipline to be "abuse" but then by the time I was old enough to be aware of this concept of abuse (probably by age 4) I feared my parents enough to know throwing anything was out of the question and if my Dad even looked at me a certain way I would drop/stop anything and everything I was doing..in a split second.I am not saying how they raised me was wrong, or right..it was just the way I was raised and I must say it probably worked for them. Now, as it is my turn to parent, I dont know what to do. I would never hit, smack, or physically touch them in anger..EVER. I find however the only option open to me is screaming....I scream when they run across the street without looking out for cars, I scream when they have massive fights and hit each other, I yell when they intentionally spread jam all over the silk carpets, I yell when they refuse to eat anything 3 days in a row...I just scream when I am so bloody tired and frustrated and I dont have the time to sit and rationalize with them when they are acting like horrible monsters. I was initially ashamed of my being the poster child for this Generation of Screamers..until I heard from my good neighbour that she finds herself screaming too..all the time. And we find that our kids are screaming at each other..but I guess on the upside...they are not hitting each other.

Tuesdays

Tuesdays are hectic for me. I teach from 11.30 to 2.30pm, but I have office hours before that. So mornings consist of getting up (I am most definitely not the Good Morning God! sort of person, more the Good God its Morning! sort), getting coffee, getting Sasha up and dressed, getting Dylan dressed, getting Sasha's angel toast (whole grain bread, Nutella, an angel shaped cookie cutter) and Princess vitamins (Dylan eats these too as he is still not averse to a bit of Sleeping beauty in his diet), and off to daycare. Then a walk around the block and by 9.30 Dylan and I are being driven to the Uni. I still don't have a license here and Doug is still quite happy to drive me to work. Then the work day begins. Granted, it then ends at 2.30pm when Doug hands Dylan off to me and I take him home by bus/subway. By the time I get home I feel like I am ready for the weekend..or rather the week.

We were in Winnipeg for the weekend. Mainly to give a presentation but mostly to hang out with the family. When I fly back to the Peg I tend to take along an extra piece of luggage as inevitably we will be taking home a pile of toys that Grampa has bought in anticipation of their visit. So on this visit the kids scored a frontloader, some random plastic animals, some sort of dollhouse that has to be built from blocks and books galore. They love visiting Grampa.

I have a couple of classes to go then we spend a week in Montreal for a conference. Then Dylan takes Sasha's place in daycare and she and I will spend some quality time over the Spring/Summer until she starts school in September. I am rather looking forward to relatively more freedom to move about with only one toddler in hand (sushi lunches, pedicures, shopping..). I am not looking forward to getting Dylan adjusted to daycare. Not looking forward to it at all..

Sasha has officially been accepted to her pre-kindergarten. So now we have been asked to make initial payment to secure her position.. my six weeks of work teaching MBA students will now pay for 2.5 months of her kindergarten. When they said having kids was expensive, they mean it. My only hope is that she will appreciate the sacrifices I have made for her education...I am of course talking about the LV tote I was eyeing..sigh.

The con

I have always believed that having a job while taking care of my young family would complete me. Having been a stay at home mum since Sasha was born made me question the choices I had made..whether I should have done the right thing and gone back to Malaysia and marry nice malay man, have kids, get maid, keep high-powered job and all will be well in life. I then figured as that scenario was pretty much impossible to achieve without first learning how to create a time machine, getting a job would make it all right. Having started a contractual teaching position a few weeks ago has made me realize that a job alone doesnt fulfill me and that it is DAMN hard juggling kids, home and work..as work is never over both at work and home. I used to think that working Dads never appreciated us stay at home mums..I am now of the opinion that us stay at home mums never fully appreciate how difficult it is to juggle the responsibilites and the guilt..oh, the guilt. I now know that when I offer to look after S's best friend at day care when J has an emergency day off (best bud's parents work) why her Mum is sooooo greatful..and I usually do it for selfish reasons so as I dont have to play Princess all day. When you have so much on your plate and one little cock-up happens it pretty much buggers your day. Yup, I am pretty darned sure that I will only work for the money and not to have my self defined. But for the money I would much rather just stay at home and play Mum...no work to cock-up my day.

I head of to the Prairies tomorrow for 3 days to give a seminar on latest working paper. D's family live there. The beauty of mat salleh families is that it is allright that I will be staying at a hotel 10 minutes away from my Father in law's house and it is OK that I may, if I have time, have breakfast with him before I head out to the airport to catch a flight...he offered the breakfast suggestion as he didnt want to disturb my schedule and if I dont like the hotel he will have a room ready. Gotta love my in-laws.

Preparations

I have been busy preparing for my next class on Tuesday. I find that I am starting to get into the groove of shooting the breeze (listening to case studies) for the first hour and just going over past seminar presentations over the next 2 hours. Unlike me, these students actually get upset if their breaks are too long and they actually do want you to teach up to the very last minute. Because the technology is so very different than when I was a student (man, was it that long ago), it takes about 10 minutes for me to switch on computer, stick in USB, switch on control panel (to control use of DVD, 3D projector (unlike the prehistoric overheads, you don't need the plastic sheets but you can even project 3 dimensional items), and sound system)and switch on dual screens (so I can project 2 different slide shows if I want)..yes, I actually had to attend an orientation programme to learn all this. They have this in EVERY classroom..no wonder North American Uni's need multi-billion dollar endowments. I have to send the students the slides at least 24 hours before the class as they all just have their laptops during class..although I am sure they are Facebooking. I would have been.

We were stuck at home this afternoon waiting for someone to pick up a baby carrier that I put up for sale on Craigslist. Bought the Pikkolo soft carrier for Dylan for $200 a while back and he has outgrown it...put it up for sale for $100 and got an offer for $80. It has gone off to a good home. Now wondering whether I should blow some of it on a sushi takeout dinner..

First day of school..

I am typing this in front of 40 odd students as I invigilate a midterm exam. Kind of funny actually thinking about the many years I was in their position…in those seats..thinking about how I would kill myself if I messed up…..pills, too messy…jumping of bridge..would it hurt? And now I sit here and think how much less could I care about their potential results…not much.

This is actually D’s class I am invigilating. We had planned to meet up after my class, he would hand Dylan over, then I would take Dylan home as he had his class. Unfortunately, Sasha had a barf fest last night so immediate change of plans. Dylan would take Sasha’s place at daycare and Doug would stay home with her…so I have been in this classroom for the past 5 hours…my 3 hour class and D’s immediately after. I was wondering this morning how couples who both work deal with these sort of emergencies. Who takes the day off? I suppose we should count ourselves extremely lucky that our life affords us the luxury of being able to deal with this rather painlessly..if not the luxury of anything overly luxurious.

I need to pee but I cant leave the room unattended…I am told that they WILL cheat.

My first class ever went rather well. Was able to fill my 3 hours with on overview of the syllabus, introductions in class and the first lecture on LP contracts and fundraising. Now to figure out how to fill up the next 3 hours next week.

I seriously need to pee..another 39 minutes to go…

As I mentioned earlier, the Unit spent a week in Club Med Ixtapa, Mexico. To be honest, the idea of Club Med-ding (apparently it is such an experience that it is a verb) never once entered my mind because when I think of spending money on a holiday, it has to be one that enriches the mind and soul. I think more along the lines of cruises on the Panama Canal and doing Machu Pichu. But those trips need advance planning and it is usually me that does it..from determining dates, flight times, hotels etc. I figured I would tough out the winter as it was soon to be March. However, with March/Spring break in the horizon, everyone I met kept telling me about their holiday plans..usually the Bahamas (3 hours away), Mexico or Dominican Republic. Sasha’s best bud went off to Punta Cana, DR a week after the earthquake in the neighbouring country. So I started thinking whether one of these all-inclusive holidays would be an experience in itself. At the same time, D was stressed about something or rather so he wanted to go away for a change. Add an excited travel agent to the mix and Club Med it was. Only 5 hours away, all inclusive with open bar, and most importantly, supervised activities for the kiddies. We were sold and paid the bill.

When we arrived we were thrilled with feeling the sun on our skins, yet apprehensive about the sheer size of the resort. But pretty soon, as Sasha and Dylan settled in their activities and we were able to just relaxon the beach with Mojitos..we were converted. The fact that everything had been prepaid made it easier as we had no worries about tipping, paying for extra snacks etc. Also, there really was nothing to do in Ixtapa..after taking the kids to swim with the dolphins and the obligatory lobster lunch and snorkeling, there was nothing to attract us outside the club. The week flew by quite fast and well, here we are back in T.

Oh thank God..th exam is over and I can now go and pee.

New beginning

I realize that I have been neglecting my site. I never really meant to abandon it, as I do enjoy keeping a journal. I have however been busy keeping up with one senior toddler and another demented toddler. I used to tell friends that what I liked most about having a girl and then a boy was the potential experiences raising the two diffeent sexes. What I tell total strangers now is that had I had Dylan first, he would have been an only child. He is a wonderous child but my God he is reckless. I have had Doug do a practice run to the nearest emergency room as he has had his fair share of tumbles and I suspect many more to come.

I have also been preparing to start teaching an MBA course. Prep work is no fun. It is only a half course but it is my first ever. Rather apprehensive. Because we dont have a nanny, and as D teaches right after me tomorrow, he will stay at home while I teach, take Dylan to the Uni, and we will do the Dylan handoff after my class.

We just came back from som R&R in Ixtapa, Mexico. It was after a rather dreary and cold Wednesday a few weeks back that D and I decided we needed to get away from the cold and more importantly the kids' snow suits. We called Karen our trusty travel agent and told her to send us somewhere. She immediately shouted Club Meddddd!! We loved it!! As it is not a cultural hub, we had no choice but to laze by the beach and relax. I find that when I take holidays I am always torn between taking in culture orrelaxing. I invariable choose the waking uo at 7 to take random bus to see temple/castle/Unesco world heritage site, and need a holiday after my holiday. Not this time. We had quality family time. And it was there I realized I had to make time to blog...I need to do things for me..there will always be other more important things to do..but they may not necessarily be better.



Sunset in Ixtapa, Mexico. 26 Feb 2010.

Settling down

It has been a hectic couple of weeks. Hectic, yet laziness personified. Still trying to get paperwork sorted out. D, Dylan's and Sasha's passports sent off in the mail for the passport exchange. They were initially given temporary passports to be exchanged via mail, and they will receive their new ones in the mail. After a 1 week wait, I finally received my forms to apply for a new passport. Filled them out yesterday, but needed to get a money order and passport photos. Unfortunately, although we use the new fangled chip, photos need to be taken against a blue background. I went to a few shops on the main strip here but they only did white biometric backgrounds. I was told I needed to go to the Philippine Embassy to get blue background ones taken as they still use the "old" technology. Luckily for me, the embassy is only 4 blocks away so I headed straight there. Found a shop that took Filipino passport photos and even they were surprised that Malaysia still used the blue background. The photographer seemed dammed proud that for once the Philippines were on par with Malaysia.

I still cant send the forms off because the photos and signatures need to be certified by either a notary public or the Honorary Consul in Toronto. I had no idea we used Honorary Consuls and I have no idea what they are or do, so of course I am trying to get hold of him to get documents certified and to ask what the hell he does. It has been 2 days, still no success. If he doesnt get back to me by tomorrow I am officially of the opinion that consuls are an absolute waste of taxpayer money and heading to the closest notary public. I just want to get the forms sent off because apparently it will take 3 months to get a new passport...3 months of no travelling and no picture ID. How ridiculous is that?? Even then they cannot guarantee that the process will be glitch free and it may even take longer than that. We are supposed to get back to KL in November but are now seriously reconsidering it because it will be pricey to book tickets so close to the proposed date of departure and we were planning to fly out via the US, and it is unlikely that I will be able to get my replacement US visa attached in time. Funny how I may not even be able to fly back to Malaysia because I may not be able to get my Malaysian passport in time.

Every other day I recall another card that I had in my wallet that needs replacing. Just today we thought of going to the ROM but then I remembered that I needed to replace our membership cards. I cannot take Dylan to his pediatrician as we are still waiting for the replacement health cards. I swear if given the choice I would just offer the thieves 3000 bucks cash...just give us our documents back. That's how much it has cost us to get our lives in order. I was just telling a friend that the thief's karma is so shot to hell after both D and I cursing seven generations with every venereal disease possible.

While the administrative side of my life has been a mess, my home life is generally summer lazy. Sasha is thrilled to be back with J and her little buddies, we go to the park on her off days, we put out the little splash pool of hot days, we play in the yard, we BBQ alot. Dylan is cruising like a demon and trying to stand up on his own. He is usually successful, but then we get excited and our clapping throws him off. He is demanding to eat everything we eat so he has had spag bol, sushi, sashimi, and burgers. We are happy to be home.

When given lemons, make limencello..

So last Saturday, at the Milan Central Train Station, on our way to St.Gallen, my diaper bag was stolen. I had set it down to check the car number and with all the confusion, rush we must have left it on the platform while we were loading 2 suitcases, 2 hand-luggages, a stroller and 2 kids. I realized I didn’t have it a couple of minutes as the train was about to leave and it was a mad scramble to get off the train as not only were Dylan’s milk, diapers and Sash’s sippy cup was in the bag, but also our passports, my wallet, camera and phone. We immediately cancelled the credit card that was in my wallet and sought help from the police. We realized the chances of getting our stuff back was close to nil when within 15 minutes of us being in the station, 3 other people walked in with the same problem. D worked with the police to make the report while I sat in the lobby feeling absolutely sick, nauseous even. I would have succumbed to tears but for Sasha asking me what was wrong.. I knew I had to be strong for the kids. We had told Sasha what had happened and while we wanted her to know what was happening, we didn’t want to scare her. After the report was made, we checked into a hotel near the station. They must get a lot of families in trouble as they immediately allowed us to check in without our passports and gave us an emergency family suite for an extremely reasonable price. We were given the addresses for both the Malaysian and Canadian embassies but after looking for them in vain, we realised that the Canadian consulate had closed down 2 years ago and the Malaysian consulate cannot issue emergency travel certs. So we headed out to Rome the next morning. I was still feeling like I was living a nightmare, even on the train going out and I kept pinching myself, hoping to wake up. Doug , in the meantime was an absolute rock star, reminding me that they were only passports and that the kids were safe, and it could have been much worse. He also took charge in Rome, getting things sorted out at the embassies and not once reminding me that I was in charge of the passports. He was of course very affected by the theft and kept an eagle eye on the kids as we were made aware of how we have been taking risks with the kids’ safety. We spent the mornings at the embassies but the afternoons were spent showing the sights to Sasha and Dylan. Sash and Doug had a Daddy –Daughter walk up and down the Spanish steps, I showed her how to throw a coin into the Trevi fountain to ensure a return visit, we had loads of aranciatas the many piazzas, and a gelato break at the Pantheon. Doug and I even took the kids to the hotel where we had our first dirty weekend way back in June 2004 (round the corner from the Trevi fountain), almost to the day. On Wednesday, we decided to walk to St Peter's Basilicca. We joined a queue as we thought it was the ticket line. We realised after a few minutes that everyone else had tickets and were about to leave when I decided to ask what they were lining up for. They were there for the Pope's mass as it was St Jean Baptiste day, apparently a big Catolic holiday. Then a lady gave us tickets and so we ended up in some seats waiting for the Pope for 2 hours. We were also told during our wait that our passports were ready. So at the age of 10 months and 3 years, Dylan and Sasha have attended a mass given by the Pope at the Vatican. Funny how fate intervenes I guess. We were dealt a horrible hand with the theft, but we were able to spend a few days in Rome, with 2 healthy kids, almost to the day of our first visit together. I now know that D is an absolute rock in times of crises and that the kids are so very resilient. I took Sash to the Prada mothership here in Milan to help me get another wallet and she chose a red one. She said “Mummy, your red wallet was stolen by Swiper so you should get another red one.” The saleslady agreed that this was logical. When given lemons, we make limencello.

We leave Milan in a couple of days. Sasha, because we had her Canadian citizenship card with us, was issued a new passport in one day by the embassy. She was travelling under her US passport but that didn’t matter. D and Dylan have been issued 2 year temporary passports. In my case, the Malaysian embassy in Rome cannot issue passports but they can issue emergency travel certificates, which I was told is not recognized by Canada. When I was told this I asked what my options were..the officer suggested we fly back to KL. Instead of telling him to bugger off I had to explain that we could not afford to spend 10,000 dollars just to get my passport reissued…what the hell is the point of embassies anyway? He again said that he could only issue the certificate. He asked if I had another citizenship I could revert to ie he was fishing to see if I had Canadian or US citizenship. I wanted to tell him that if I had those would I bloody be at his embassy considering the US embassy issues new passports in one hour and the Canadian one within the day. I told him to issue the apparently useless cert and I would sort it out with the Canadian side. We went back to the Canadians and they issued an entry visa within the hour in view of our emergency situation and in view of my being married to a Canadian. In our visits to the embassy over the few days we were in Rome, we met many other people in the same situation. One lady said that when she walked round the corner and saw the Canadian flag, she almost wept. She had her bag stolen in Milan too. I can relate…the next time I have to deal with a Malaysian embassy I will probably weep too.

Milano Summer

D reached home in record time. He drove home at 150km/h with another conference presenter O who had to also catch a 6pm flight to Boston. He was planning to catch a bus from Kingston but it would have been cutting it very close. So we had enough time to have a nice pizza lunch alfresco before the taxi arrived. O has a very young daughter, he also works in the area of VC and his marriage is also bi-racial. So much in common but he is knee deep in the quintessential publish or perish problem. He has just moved to another University because he is having trouble publishing, which we find strange as he has a BSD (big swinging d*%k) supervisor. Usually that will ensure a smooth path. He is torn between finding a great home for his family in his new location or just finding one that has the specs to ensure easy resale when he moves on to the next University (if he publishes) or moves cities if he decides to get out of the game (perish). We suggested to him that if he cites the right people (ehm ehm) he may just find some very friendly referees.

In the rush of getting everything sorted out and loaded in the taxi, we only realized that we had forgotten the stroller when we reached the airports. We had the new Pikollo front pack for Dylan that I had just bought so it wasn’t that much of a problem at the airports, but we knew we had to get one in Milan as I would be stuck in the hotel without one. Lugging a 32 pound baby on my back while dragging along a whiny Sash to the Duomo would just be self inflicted torture.
The flight out was uneventful other that the realization that Dylan is an absolute handful on flights. He is usually pretty hyper at home but at least we are able to let him burn off all that energy and determination by letting him crawl around..on flights he had to be on our laps at all times so he was just a bundle of hyperactive joy. Sash was an absolute gem and pretty much entertained herself by “doing work” on her Cinderella laptop. We bought Sasha a couple of outfits she liked when we arrived in Milan to thank her for listening to us. We are rethinking taking Dylan on any other flights until he turns 5 when we can put him on an earlier flight on his own as an unaccompanied minor.

When we arrived in Milan D and I were just about ready to pass out from lack of sleep but the kids were up and ready to go and we knew we had to find a stroller so upon the concierge’s advice, and after a couple of espressos, we found a baby boutique a couple of blocks from our hotel. Not our usual sort of destination when looking for baby gear but with the language constraints (we spent about 10 minutes at another store where the proprietor nearly sold us a doll stroller) we just decided to bite the bullet. Initially we were thinking of getting the cheapest umbrella stroller but the cheapest they had was €95. Instead, we opted to spend a bit more and get a travel side by side double stroller, the Maclaren Twin Triumph. It folds like a dream and is so very light. It really wont replace our Phi&Teds as that is narrower and maneuvers in all weather, but at least we wont need to take that along with us on flights. I have had people ask why we don’t just let Sash walk, but I have to remind them that when we take in the sights, Sash may be expected to walk all day, and as I do this on my own when D is working, a single stroller isn’t the most practical option. We have already invested so much in the flights and hotels, so why not a bit more in the required equipment to make it an enjoyable experience.

After dinner we had trouble getting Dylan to bed as he was extremely tired, and his crib was not his own. He cried for what seemed liked ages and we even received calls from the management. A man who had a room downstairs knocked on our door and told us he was trying to sleep and to “do something with the baby!” I was getting pissed mainly due to sleep deprivation and also because my baby was upset and some fuckwit had the gall to suggest that we were not trying to deal with it. Did he think we liked the screaming? We finally got Dylan to bed but I was still upset about that man. In the morning, D went down to breakfast as he had to be at the conference early. He rushed up before he left to tell me that he arrived at the restaurant to fin Mr. Fuckwit sitting with my supervisor J who is also here for the conference. D said he had a “Oh my God what have I done” when J introduced them both and mentioned that I was D’s co-author and also his student (PhD students are never ex-students..we will always be tied to our supervisors in some inexplicable manner. A few weeks ago I presenter a paper at a conference in Toronto and D’s supervisor was in the audience. It sort of freaked me out as in my mind it was sort of like having my father in law in the audience. No, let me correct that. D cares more about what his supervisor thinks than what his Dad thinks). He asked if the kids were here and that we should meet up later this afternoon. So we all had G&Ts this evening in the bar downstairs…J was able to have a nice chat with Sash and we explained to her that when she does her PhD J will be her teacher. She seemed resigned. After drinks I went off for dinner while D went off to his dinner. He came home early to tell me that at his table, sitting 2 seats away there was a woman telling the rest of the table about this baby crying in her hotel..and she said “Why couldn’t they just stick a pacifier in the baby’s mouth?”. She also proudly told everyone she called management to complain. D just said “Well, that’s funny. I am at that hotel and I have a baby with me. He was having trouble adjusting after our flight from Toronto.” That’s all D said and excused himself as he was just too tired to deal with Ms. Fuckwit. The thing is we realize that the crying may have disturbed many people, but to suggest that we were what, enjoying the bloody spa while we let him cry?? Just goes to show that as easy it is to make contact with potential friendly referees, it is just as easy to make some unfriendly ones remember you for life.

On the road again..

D is in Kingston at a conference. We leave for Milan on Tuesday evening. If all goes well, D should be back just in time to park the car and wait for the airport limo. If all does not go well, he may be just in time to meet us at the airport and I will have to load up the two kiddies, a stroller, luggage and a car seat myself. If all goes terribly wrong, I am to get to Milan first and he will catch the first flight out. Fingers crossed.

As I type this Sash is watching a Barbie DVD, I think it is called Mermadia. A fluff movie comprising fairies, mermaids and cute furry pets. Sasha heaven. Dylan is wrecking the room. He has spread the mini Ritz crackers all over the carpet and is systematically crushing them with his bum. He will get bored of that and want to climb onto the sofa where his sister is. He has to be and do wherever and whatever Sasha is doing. He has been cruising like the devil for the past 6 weeks but is getting frustrated that he cannot walk yet. So we have to walk him all over the place. My back is killing me. He has started opening drawers and getting into cupboards. he has broken one glass and a bowl. He is proving to be an almighty handful. But still rather entertaining.

I bought some peanut butter and grape jelly this morning thinking I would take it along with me to Italy/Switzerland as PBJs seem to be the only thing Dylan will eat. He has improved vastly and is able to eat little pieces of the sandwich. He still mainly survives on milk but at least he is able to chew and swallow bread. He still refuses to have any mushed food so I have all but given up on that. But then I thought what the hell am I doing? I am going to Italy and taking along jars of peanut butter and jelly. I am now convinced that I have lived in North America way too long. So I took the jars out of the luggage and Dylan will just have to learn to like pasta or milk it will be. Well, at least it will be Swiss milk.

Second Cumming

Being a first child myself, I have never been able to empathize when second or younger siblings gripe about the unfairness of birth order. Raising a second child however has opened my eyes. Take this morning as an example. After taking to Sasha to J's on her trike, where we chatted, told "why did the chicken cross the road" jokes, and talked about what she would be doing today, I just felt like chilling at home doing nothing. Dylan woke up 4 times last night, twice to drink his milk and twice to just cuddle. But that would mean Dylan would be doing nothing too. It was just too tempting..to have him play in front of the TV while I caught up with the newspapers and mags. But I recalled those gripes, especially D's gripes with his being the youngest of SEVEN, and got off my ass and took him to the park where we met a new neighbour H who was with her own Mum's group. Actually, H isnt really a "new" neighbour as she moved to the street about 3 months after we did. It's just that we've only just met as a result of the street yard sale we had recently. Her son was born a day after Dylan. She has also placed her son on J's waitlist so both of them will be at J's together. To give you an idea how 100 metres matter in this hood, she lives approximately 30 houses away..and our frontages are less than 25 feet...how we had never met before is a mystery. So Dylan played with the other babies a bit, we went on the swings and we tried out the slide. Usually I am multitasking with Sash in the mix and it is always nice to give him one on one park time. New resolve. Spend quality time with Dylan. Second one. To read to him more. We started reading to Sash from day 1. To this day she is read to every night, at least 3 books..sometimes up to 5. Over the course of her life, she has been bought a new book every 3 days..she has ALOT of books. We have tried reading to Dylan many times but unlike Sash who would snuggle in our laps and listen attentively, he would try and grab the book, either tear at it or bite/chew it and after that launch himself off our laps onto the floor. Head first usually. I guess I could try reading to him on the floor. As it is he already has his first black eye. He knocked his face into the step stool yesterday.

After the park, I took him to get his first pair of shoes. He has started cruising and I fear that his socks wont protect his feet from little twigs and gravel. My baby boy is growing up....and wearing his Puggles..

Summer chaos

I love Summer. I am wondering when it will reach Toronto though. It has been raining and it has been chilly. It is June and my boiler still kicks in at night. What's up with that??!! Granted, there are the nice days in between where impromptu BBQs are in order..





When the outdoor toys are in use..



And when we are able to feel the grass between our toes...



Hopefully there will be more of those days to come.

I haven't been blogging for a while. Almost impossible to find the time. When the weather is nice we immediately head out to the backyard, the park, the anywhere outside. When the weather is crappy, I am racking my brains trying to figure out how to keep the kids entertained. It is much more difficult now as Dylan is far more active than he was a month ago, pulling himself up, coasting and wanting to be and doing what his sister is doing. He has also dropped his morning nap but takes a longer afternoon nap. Whatever free time I have is taken up by mundane things like weeding, dealing with landscaping quotes, arranging for raccoon removals (we had two trapped last night and we are setting up a few more traps just in case..the service will remove them and relocate them humanely..) and other home related issues. Dylan, like Sash, stopped eating his baby food at 9 months. So he has for the past 3 weeks been experimenting with finger foods. We are able to get some cereal into him maybe once every 3 days..but so far he is surviving on milk and Cheerios. He has since his 8 month birthday been on whole milk after getting the OK from his pediatrician, but as he is on his hunger strike, he is back on formula. Frustrating to say the least. Having said that he is as alert as ever and extremely active, so I guess lack of food is bothering me more than him.

To deal with his reactive lung, I decided to bite the bullet and get a Dyson with the hepa-filter. We have had a few vacuums and yes, they do lose suction power over time. I told D when we were in San Diego for our 4th wedding anniversary that I didnt want jewelry. I wanted a Dyson. He thought it was a sick joke I was playing. I was serious and this morning I dragged him down the street to get my present. He still thinks its a joke and soon every woman on the block will be taking the piss about the cliche "vacuum" present. I am thrilled, thrilled, thrilled with my new vacuum. I have been doing a bit of research about asthma and reactive lungs and by God I will do all I can to make sure Dylan or Sash dont get it. I was reading this article in the Economist about the link between eczema and asthma the other day and have chucked all non-organic bath and body washes. Dylan has always used organic but Sasha has for a while used more generic Johnsons or the like. They will both share body washes and shampoos now. I may be paranoid, but hey, just because you are not paranoid it doesnt mean no one is watching you.

The days have been endless but the weeks have just flown by. Why is that always the case? Dylan's bronchial infection was apparently just that, an infection. However, on the day he finished his course of Biaxin, he developed a cold. The downside of having Sasha in daycare. So he was congested again. But this time it was a stuffy nose instead of a stuffy chest. So a week of that resulted in him losing his appetite for yet another week and about a pound and a half. However, in view of the fact that at 8 months he is the size of a North American 1 year old, the weight loss is apparently nothing for us to worry about. Around this time I gave up on channelling my inner Martha as I kept having to throw away the food I had painstakingly made, which in addition to his not eating, made it doubly frustrating. So I switched to jars of food, which was less painful to chuck after a spoonful. He has started eating again although we are back to square one which is simple pureed fruits..sigh..just as we were on to avocado and cottage cheese. We are also just getting back into the usual nap schedule and instead of getting up every 2 hours (I swear, it was like having a newborn again), he only wakes up twice for his milk (which we are transitioning into whole milk by mixing half formula and half whole milk). Before his infections, he was going through the night without milk, but I guess we have to take small steps towards that goal again. Also, as I am trying to get him to hold his bottle, his fast flow size 3 nipples have been swapped back to size 2's, so he wont choke, but this increases his feed times from 5 minutes to 15. Ah well, as long as he learns to hold his own bottle soon. Funnily enough, even when sick, he is such a happy camper. Laughing, giggling, grabbing at things, launching himself off the sofa, and torturing Sasha. I hated his being sick, but one day as I was walking Sasha to daycare I was able to put things into perspective. Ahead of us on the sidewalk was a boy in a wheelchair with his carer. He was obviously paralyzed from neck down. So while I found it such a chore to wake up every 2 hours, at least I knew that time would heal Dylan and he is still my healthy happy bunny. Thats all that matters right?

D is in Europe again so I am not only sleep deprived but also surviving on cereal and coffee. I am just too lazy to cook anything for myself. So lazy that I actually walked to the end of the block and bought myself a tuna salad sandwich for lunch. How sad is that.

To keep myself busy, I have been gathering stuff around the house to sell at the yard sale we are organizing week after next. I am seriously surprised how much junk we have. I am also amazed at how much of Sasha's clothes we still have left after giving away 2 suitcases full recently. We have another 2 suitcases..I swear..when did she wear all these clothes? I also notice that from age 2 onwards, I seem to have only gone to the Gap around the corner..again, I am reminded of how lazy I am. Pricing everything for $2 each...which is a steal considering there are barely used Laura Ashley and Ralph Lauren dresses and Gap outfits galore. I initially thought of holding the sale ourselves, then decided to invite a couple of neighbours thinking the more the merrier. Since 4 of us were planning to sell our kids stuff, I figured I would just ask around if other neighbours would be interested. So far we will have 16 houses selling stuff from snowboards, skis, furniture, china, lamps, and lots of clothes (we are thinking of calling it the GapKids resale sale). It is now a street sale. Should be fun and a great way to recycle and reuse..keep those toys out of the landfills.

We went in for Dylan's monthly and Sasha's bi-annual medical check-up yesterday. Sasha is doing well, Dylan not so well. The congestion that he has been getting on and off has been diagnosed as a bronchial infection. There are 2 possible reasons for his bronchitis, an infection or some other form of irritant. We are treating it as an infection and dosing him with Biaxin. Hopefully it works because the alternative is that we dose him with Ventolin and other steroids via inhaler as the bronchitis may then be irritant based. And of course the obligatory visit to the allergist to determine what is causing all the problems. So far he seems to be doing better, although I may just be projecting. We have been on high alert to catch any potential allergic reactions, but touch wood, so far so good. Doug is supposed to fly off to the UK this evening but he has cancelled his trip. The idea that a severe allergic reaction could occur while he is away for a presentation sort of freaked him out. The only other problem is giving him the medication, which is still bitter even with the Bubble Gum added flavour. I never know what to do when he gags and pukes whatever little bit he has had. I have been told not to top up as this may be dangerous (main reason why they have banned cold flu and cough medication for below 2s...parents tend to top up, babies get an overdoses and severe complications and even death occur). I have to call my pediatrician tomorrow to follow up..hopefully we dont have to go in and get the inhaler. My poor baby boy...

On a different note, Sasha is doing extremely well with her potty training. She no longer wears diapers at home during the day. While I still have to ask her on occasion if she wants to potty, especialy when she is playing, she has more often than not told me when she wants to pee pee or poo poo..yup, she even doing #2 in her flower and Dora potties. I still have her in diapers when we are out and about but that is more so for my own convenience because I find it impossible to take her to a public loo when I have Dylan with me. She has on occasion requested that she keep her panties on and promised "not to have an accident Mummy". I guess it is true..they will do it when they are ready and there is no point in forcing them into it. I remember the angst of potty training last year...and I cant believe how easy it has been the second time around. I also cant believe how much poo my tiny little girl produces...

The 3 day extravaganza is past. I am just now getting more comfortable with having a 3 year old as opposed to a 2 and a half year old. How time flies.

Last Thursday, we had her first celebration at her daycare. Pizza and cupcakes from The Cupcake Shoppe and loot bags for all. We had a similar celebration last year but this year, it was very different. Sasha was more excited and she not only participated but helped me with choosing the theme, Dinosaurs and Fish, helped me choose the plates to be used and more importantly the little gifts for her friends. We settled on a little toy car placed in mini-chinese take-away style containers filled to the brim with Easter chocolates and jelly beans. We even had fun assembling the 8 loot bags. Apparently she had fun and she let R, the little boy with an uber creepy crush on her sit next to her. R is 3.5, is a foot taller than Sash, cute but has informed me that he loves Sasha because she is very exciting to play with. Uber creepy...well, as far as a 3 year old can get.

On Friday, we started the day with the opening of presents. We had a few as Doug tends to go crazy when it comes to buying toys for her. I let him buy whatever he wants because..well, he just likes doing it so much.





After a waffle and rainbow sprinkle breakfast, a bath, we measured her, as we do annually, and headed out to the Ontario Science Center.







It was amazing, impressive even. We had heard that it is great for kids, and although it is literally a 10 minute drive away, we have never been. One of those next weekend sort of outings. Are we ever glad that we did. The Center is huge. I was imagining it to be a small building with a couple of exhibits and maybe that static electricity machine thing for kids. Instead, it had an Imax theatre, many floors with various exhibits with cool themes like electricity, chemistry, the planetarium...you get the drift. More importantly, it had a KidSpark designed specifically for kids under 8 to enjoy scientific based play.



After spending what seemed like hours at the KidSpark, we watched an underwater themed Imax movie narated by Jim Carrey. Sasha's first movie in a real movie theatre. We headed home soon after and prepared ourselves for the next day.

The last event of the 3 day extravaganza was her party at Kidnasium with 8 other little friends and their parents. I decided to keep the group small and limited to the neighbours and one best friend from Daycare. The parents were also going to be there and I also wanted them to feel comfortable. It was Toddlers Gone Wild. The ran, they jumped, they screamed...all that under the watchful eye of the Kidnasium staff. Games were organized and to be honest all I had to do was light the sparkler candle for her cupcakes (finger foods only so cutlery was not needed)



After all that activity, the kids sat down for their pizza, which was ordered by the staff, juice and cheese. Desert was dinosaur and fish cupcakes from Lollicakes, with the fish and cupcakes made from Belgium chocolates.



I wanted the kids' loot to be a surprise even for Sasha so I ordered them all personalized crayon holders. I am not a fan off buying a bunch of toys and stuff for loot bags so I figured something useful would be appreciated.





After Kidnasium, we headed back to ours. I started filling up the ice buckets while Doug went round the corner to pick up the sushi...lots of sushi. We herded the kids down to the basement, stuck in a Sleeping Beauty DVD and made a couple of bags of popcorn. While the kids were zoned out on the couches (thanks Kidnasium) the adults enjoyed a quick dinner, a couple of glasses of wine and each other's company. By 9pm everything was cleaned and the dishwasher running.



All in all it was fun and more importantly Sasha was involved right from the beginning. Maybe next year she can plan her own 4 day extravaganza.

It has been a while since I have been able to spare the time to post anything here. Not that I haven't woken up at 2.30 am and thought of something witty and urbane to post...only to totally forget whatever it was and be inundated with life in the latter morning.

After coming back from our visit to Winnipeg, I have been busy getting things together for Sasha's 3rd Birthday 3 Day Extravaganza. That coupled with the outings to the park to take advantage of the great weather...well, there are only so many waking hours in a day.

Our visit to see Gord was short and sweet, unlike him..hahahaha. Kidding. He is a big (huge) teddy bear as far as I am concerned. As usual, we ate out every night. Not that I didnt offer to cook, but hey, I wasnt going to push it. We usually end up at the usual restaurants (Greek, Fusion, Thai, Grill), although this time we had a special treat at a restaurant that is owned by the son of someone Gord helped ages ago. Instead of choosing our meal from the menu, we left the decision up to the owner..so out came an antipasto platter, lobster bisque and an entree comprising lobster, fillet Mignon, foie gras, monk fish and some other fish I had never heard off but hey, I trusted the guy. It was a fun dinner and not only because of the quality of the food and excellent service, but to see the pride on Gord's face as it was his presence that enabled us to get the extraordinary service.



When we were not out eating, we stayed at home playing pool in the basement, fooling around on the piano an just watching TV. For us it was a holiday, unlike the ones we take when we travel and need to get out there and do things.







On our last day we attended the kids' cousin Emily's birthday. Sasha was the youngest girl there but that didnt stop her from trying to emulate the "big girls". There was cookie decorating, swimming and bowling after. Fun.










Hopefully we will be able to get back to Winnipeg soon. The last time we were there it was in May for Aunt Hilda's funeral...how time flies.

Sasha is going in for her dentist's appointment this afternoon. I am waiting for the repairman to replace the control board for the oven (In my next life I am going to do repairs..$80 for the call out, $25 for every 15 minutes, and tip. Lets not talk about the cost of the control panel which is $400..luckily it is still under warranty.) My Phil & Ted is in the shop as the wheel came off. It has been wonky since its last flight. Must remember to claim damages from Air Canada. Busy, busy, busy...

Academics are a funny lot. We all know the old adage, publish or perish. Among academics however there is also the I publish therefore I am. I am cited, therefore I continue to be. To give you an idea of how deeply ingrained this is, I will take Profs X and Y. Prof X has just moved here from the States with his family. He needed help getting a pediatrician as he was not familiar with the Canadian system. Because medical is "free", it really isnt just a matter of walking into an office and showing your health card. First you have to find a doctor who is taking new patients. Not so easy as the good ones have long wait lists. Then ideally you find one that isnt 30 miles away in some dodgy neighbourhood especially since you will be seeing the pediatrician least 20 times the first year alone. Sometimes you get lucky but more often than not you have to get an existing patient to "recommend" you..yup, cronyism survives in socialist systems. So I was recommended by a neighbour and I in turn recommended Prof X. I wondered why he was keen on seeing Dr F as he doesnt live in the neighbourhood. But hey, whatever rocks his boat. So last night D hitched a ride from Prof Y from the airport. During the ride it seems that Prof Y was hinting that he needed to change pediatricians. D did some digging and found out that Prof X had told Prof Y that Dr F is apparently not only a good pediatrician but more importantly, he is published, and even more significant, he is also very much cited due to the relevance of his research. D thinks I am genius for finding a published and cited pediatrician.I am not about to tell him that the extent on my criteria for choosing Dr F was that he be less than 2 blocks away. I am definitely not an academic at heart.

Its not often that I meet someone that totally rubs me the wrong way. If I must say so myself, I am pretty easy going and can get along pretty much with everyone I meet. This afternoon, while I was in the front yard having a chat with a couple of neighbours while watching the kids play with what we hope to be the last of the snow, I noticed a lady who had just moved into a house nearby. We all said the usual hellos and she stayed to chat. It all started well, and we discovered she had just moved from the States. Then after a while she started whinging about things. I hate whingers. I just feel like telling the whinger to suck it up. The conversation turned to us all becoming frugalistas, and she-formerly-of-the-US started complaining how bad service was in TO (its a big city stupid), how small the houses are (for what you can afford you mean) and how expensive things were (where were you living? Hicksville?). She went on this rant about how expensive milk is here. I mean...I can understand if you find settling in difficult, we have all been there, done that, bought the T-Shirt, but to rant and bitch about milk of all things in the presence of some obviously increasingly irate Canadians you know from Adam..well, that is just plain stupid. But on and on she went about the expensive milk, the packaging, the taste. I really couldn't say much in defense of Canadian milk because 1) I have only lived here less than a couple of years and 2) I take lactose-free milk so I have no idea how much her milk costs. Funnily enough, one of the nicer neighbours kindly, through gritted teeth, pointed out that milk in the US is genetically modified and Canada forbids the sale of GM food. Perhaps that may explain the price differential? She placated the lady by telling her that it does take most Americans time to get used to "safe" milk ...hahahahaha..I nearly laughed out loud at that. The less nicer neighbours had already ignored her for ages and was conversing amongst themselves..probably bitching about her. She excused herself pretty soon after that but I suspect we will not be seeing her at any of the local gatherings soon. Apparently her husband is also an ass.

Sasha asked me last night as we were reading her bedtime books in my bed where we got Daddy from? I asked her to explain the question. She asked if we bought him at the store. I explained to her that no, I met Daddy. She asked again if I went with her to get Daddy at the store because she didnt remember. I explained to her again that I met Daddy in Cambridge and then after that we made her. She sounded a bit confused so I had to explain that we were in existence before her, then we made her ourselves. I dont know what upset her more, the idea that we didnt go shopping for Daddy or that we were there/are here before her. She is very competitive and she has to be first at everything (she does not get that from me). So this morning I called up a company that builds, maintains and harvests small home vegetable plots. I have been getting Sasha involved in making Dylan's food, in making dinner and baking, to get her used to the idea that we dont always eat at restaurants. I guess the next step is to make it clear to her that not everything can or should be bought at the corner store (not Daddies, and sometimes not veggies). I am fully aware that I could never maintain a vegetable patch so I am calling in the professionals. She doesnt have to know that we are not planting and maintaining the gardens ourselves. I will arrange for the maintenance people to come in while she is at daycare and as far as she is concerned the veggies are growing with our love and sweat equity. Now to prepare myself for the "What do you mean you made me?" question...