Alexandra Stoddard wrote about the 5-percent rule. That's when most people concentrate their energies on things that are for special occasions rather than the things that we do or use everyday....or 95% of the time. I used to do this, although it further translated to my saving things for special occasions. Saving the nice soap for a special occasion, the nice plates for visitors, buying only the good cheese for parties. Upon realization a few years ago that I was spending 95% of my life anticipating some later joy, I decided that I would consciously try to make every day a special day. When I receive nice soap or shower gels as gifts, I use them immediately. D bought some hand made soap from Cambridge recently, and every morning when I use a bar I think of the market where we used to have our lunch sarnies from Marks and Sparks. I now use the "guest" towels because, well, we on average we have guests stay with us once every 9 months and why have such nice fluffy towels collecting dust in the linen closet. When we feel like splurging, we head for the nice cheese shop round the corner and buy some nice Stilton we have yet to try, some tasty crackers made on some farm in BC and enjoy them with some nice vino...just us, just for the heck of it. We sometimes eat our dessert on our "nice" plates. Mind you, we only really have 8 nice plates (and salad ones at that) that D bought for me when we were in Amsterdam for my defence. The rest of our "china" are cheaper than cheap (white set of plates, salad bowls, cups and saucers etc for 8, on sale, $12)...and literally Chinese. We do use nice cutlery as I find nice, heavy cutlery really makes a meal. We drink our morning coffee from nice mugs. We only have 2 nice mugs though, as it doesn't really make sense to buy a whole set of 6 or 8 when we only need 2. We do have other mugs for guests, you know the ones you get for Xmas that says "Santa only comes once a year...aren't you glad you're not him". These we reserve for guests. Hey, they can lump it or leave it. I wear my jewelry (aren't all jewelry nice??) every day because I don't see the point of having them stored in our safe deposit box while wearing costume (which can be expensive too)...I follow the cost per wear rule. I don't splurge on unnecessary things, but neither do I put off enjoying nice things (and nice, pretty and enjoyable doesnt mean expensive..for example fresh flowers) as I may be hit by a bus/tram tomorrow...and I can so imagine looking down (or up) from where I am and thinking...DAMMIT, I should have opened that bottle of L'Occitanne shower gel!!

We are beginning to realize that Sash is getting to that stage where she can not only have a fairly decent conversation with us, but she can also put forward her views. For example, when shown a picture of a Lily, she will adamantly tell us that it is Not a Lily, but a flower...or that an eggplant is Not an egg...(I gave up on that argument). I think we have a lawyer on our hands...

We woke up this morning to another sunny yet brisk day. Before running a few errands, we decided to have a leisurely breakfast and tried out our new waffle maker. Love it, and love the waffles it makes! Took 3 minutes to mix the batter, and another 2 to make a waffle. We had them with fresh strawberries and banana, topped with maple syrup and whipped cream. This machine will definitely be used ALOT!

We walked to Melonheads where Sasha had her first big girl haircut. I must say I am rather impressed with the set up and the service. Sash could have chosen to sit on a horse, in a fire engine, in a train or in a helicopter while she had her hair cut. This being her first time though she was rather apprehensive so she preferred to sit with D. He read her a book while she had her first haircut. She was a trooper during the whole ordeal!





To commemorate her first haircut, she of course received a certificate and locks of her hair. Yet again, I am stumpped with this need to to certify. D of course immediately placed it in his special cabinet along with Sasha's crafts and other certificates. Yes, he has his own special Big wooden cabinet!





After her haircut, we set out on a quest for the doubles kit for our primary stroller. We use a Phil and Ted E3 stroller, which we love X10 and we needed to get the doubles kit, which will enable us to use it for both Sash and PD. Unfortunately, they have come out with a new sports model so it is difficult to get the accessories for the E3. We lucked out and found one in the apple green colour that we have at a shop nearby. As we found the service to be helpful and the salesperson knowledgable, we also decided to get a new travel system for PD as Sash pretty much used the one we have to death. Sash used the Combi which I liked but D didnt. We found one one that we both liked. The umbrella stroller reclines, is light enough and folds compact with one hand, which is crucial when you have a line of people waiting to board the plane. The car seat can also be extracted by using one hand. All in all a productive day....

We will be joining in Earth Hour tomorrow night. From 8-9pm we plan to switch off the lights (and the computer), spark the candles that we seem to have so many of, and ...well, that's as far as the plan goes currently. No idea what we are going to do during the hour with Sash...oh yes, and have rolls and sashimi for dinner, in the whole using less energy mood. We might not put too much of a dent on our carbon footprint in that one hour, but at least we can irritate Sash with stories of how we used to study by candlelight, how TV was black and white way back then, and well, just regaling her with stories of life before HD television. You guys in?

We are trying to get Sasha's room in order before her birthday. So far we have nailed her art up on the walls and I have stuck on the decals we bought her a while back.


She doesnt have a proper bed yet as she sleeps on a box spring and double mattress only, hence the cushion head guard.









We just need to get off our arses and head out to Home Depot for some shelves and it should be done. Then we have to start on PD's room. This may sound strange, but I am not the one instigating all this. D is. If you have read some of my posts, you will be aware that D is more emotionally involved in this sort of home decor thing. I am not saying that I dont care about my surroundings, but he just cares significantly more than I do. So I tend to give in to what he wants, like big wooden furniture, or the arrangement of his daughter's room. I just handle the more micro issues, such as the height placement of the painting to deter Sasha from licking it (she has this nasty habit of licking things..snow, store windows, bus stop walls...yup, her immunity against urban germs must be way up there by now) and the placement of her future book shelves to ensure that she is able to reach the books. He will also be in charge of PDs room because the only requirement I have is that the diaper pail be close to the changing table. Other than that the man has carte blanche....good luck to PD..

I had a chat with my sister-in-law a few days ago. I think it was over the Easter weekend. We decided to call her as we were eating our massive slices of Blueberry pie as they inevitably reminded us of J. During the Summer, she took care of Sash for a week while we flew off to Warwick for a conference, and she took Sash blueberry picking every day. Each and every picture of Sash taken during that week had her face and butt absolutely covered in blueberries. When we arrived back at the cottage after a long flight from Heathrow via Toronto, via Winnipeg and a 3 hour drive to the cottage, we found Sash crawling around chasing runaway blueberries with her Granpa trailing after her with a broom. J mentioned that she and her dot L will be starting their March/Spring break this week. I was a bit confused because D had just finished his. J explained that in Canada the provinces stagger the school breaks. This is to avoid overcrowding at the few tourist and ski hills that they have, and also enables parents to book holidays. This may not be overly convenient for extended families across provinces to get together, but then for a majority of families, this is not an issue. I thought that this was rather smart. In Malaysia, I recall avoiding any holiday destination during the school holidays because of the hotels charging peak rates, that is if you can even get a room. I think now you have to book a year in advance! Why have the States not thought about staggering the school breaks, to give parents a break??

xxxxxx

Sash had her last Kidnasium class for the Winter session yesterday. I don't think I will be signing her up for the Spring session as we will be away in KL/Montreal/Quebec City for a large chunk of Spring. Also, why have her running like a maniac indoors and pay for this privilege when she can be doing the same thing outdoors for free. After the class, when the certs were being handed out (I don't know why they do this. Am I going to frame it up? I don't think so), a nanny asked me how old Sash is. I told her 2 in April. She told me her charge, Leo, turned 2 last week and said Sash was "big" in the "I am trying to figure out if your kid is a freak" kind of way(But then I am hormonal so I may be imagining things). I ignored her ..I mean seriously, I didnt make a single comment about that honker of a nose your kid has, so why not return the compliment??!! I have been noticing her at the classes as she speaks French to Leo. She then asked me if I lived near the gym. I told her which street I lived on. She said "What? That's my street? What number?" I gave her the number. She said "Are you sure!! That's my number!" And for a second, a nano-second even, I actually thought "Hmmm, maybe that isn't my number..". I snapped out of that mode pretty quickly and re-assured her that that was indeed my number. Turns out she just moved in next door. She said that the family is renovating their new home..gave me address...up and coming neighbourhood..and have rented the house from Mexicans for 5 months. I explained that B and wife are not Mexicans but they have a third home in Mexico where the winter (and a cottage North of TO where they Summer). I welcomed her to the neighbourhood. I am thinking of inviting the family over for Sash's brunch, to get to know the gang or more importantly the kids. They have an older daughter who goes to the Toronto French School and I am sure that while we will probably never be able to afford the tuition (Nursery, 2 hours a day: 11 grand; Kindergarten: 21 grand; Grade school: 25 grand per annum (not including 5 grand Registration fee (and that is NOT the most Elite school)) it will be interesting to find out what they do there. But D wonders about the change in dynamics (I think he has been hanging with the wifeys too much)..so we shall see. The good news is that should we ever decide to go on sabbatical, we have the option of renting our home out as there seems to be a market among people renovating their homes...

xxxxxx

We file our US and NY State taxes today, and are looking into filing our Canadian taxes this week. Tax season is scary...

Freecycling, the new recycling

I freecycled today. I have been a member of Freecycle TO for a while, and although I occasionally look through the listings to check out any interesting offers, I have not bothered to contact anyone to ask for any of the interesting things I see. Also, having a teeny-weenie house keeps me pretty disciplined. For those unclear of the concept, the Freecycle Network (TM) is a Yahoo group set up in various cities (originating in Arizona I think), open to all who want to "recycle" something that is still fairly usable rather than throwing it away or selling it. Its main aim is to keep things from the landfills as long as possible. So, this morning I posted an offer for a DVD player that we have. Its tray has gone on strike and will not eject. We bought a new one so instead of just chucking it in the garbage, I posted an offer. Within a couple of hours I received 5 emails asking if he/she could have it as he/she will be able to repair it. I am free to choose whomever I deem best suited to accept my "gift" so I chose the one that sent the longest email. She will be picking up the DVD from my porch this afternoon during her lunch break. I think I will be freecycling more often in the future.

After Sasha's Kidnasium session this morning (I still find overenthusiastic grandmums/dads extremely irritating (but I am hormonal)...for Gods sake people, no need to clap and cheer like its the Olympics, the kid is only crawling through the tunnel!!), I walked up a couple of blocks to this shop to order a bunch of cupcakes for Sasha's birthday brunch. I figured cupcakes are much easier as no knives are involved, I don't have to subject my daughter to the trauma of Mummy decapitating Dora or Diego for the sake of dessert, each guest can choose his/her favourite animal (I have asked for various animal/dinosaur shaped chocolates to be staked on top of each cupcake) and more importantly, they can bring some home. If I have to eat leftover cupcakes for days after, so is everyone else!! I then went to another shop to order much less elaborate Nut free and Kosher cupcakes with the same theme for her daycare celebration. Nut free because most children centres are nut free zones, you know, to avoid some kid licking the floor going into anaphalectic shock. Kosher because I think one of her little friends is Jewish. I will order the pizza on her birthday itself. I then went to the nearby supermarket to get some crab and shrimp rolls for my lunch. Which made me think about the non-kosher pizza. Should I get some sushi too? Is that kosher? But wait, the rolls have sesame seeds. The last thing I want is to have some kid die at Sash's birthday as that will so get her kicked out of daycare...will ask J how other parents deal with this. I am going to enjoy my Tuesday before it starts snowing again this evening.

Its a sign..

We bought Sash another more user friendly potty. It had to be the Dora potty of course. So now in the basement we have the loo, the insert, and the potty that can also be transformed into an insert in the future. I swear if she takes a leak in this potty she can have any Dora item she wants for the rest of her life. We bought the reward stickers too as we have been advised that bribery works pretty well in the training process. Chocolates were recommended but D tends to hog the supply. The only problem now is that every time we suspect that she is having a poo/pee, we start rushing about like headless chickens getting her undressed and on the loo/insert/Dora pooper that we literally scare the shit into her...not the figurative shit out of her. Kid is getting constipated. D and I have figured out why people have 2 kids..the first one is the test subject that you sort of screw up and psychologically traumatise with your amateur ineptness, and the second the back up.



We had to rush back from ToysRUs which is 3 blocks away as S, the owner of the gallery where we bought our bedroom painting was on the way to ours with the artist. You see, we have only just realised that the painting was unsigned. We mentioned this to S and he agreed to arrange for the artist Leonard to sign it for us when he is in Toronto, which was today. We finally had a chance to meet the man who painted the first and last thing we see every day, and to thank him for sharing his skill with us. He apologised profusely for his oversight, and explained that he sometimes takes a while to figure out where to place his signature, that he puts off his decision and does not get back to it before the piece is sold. We reassured him that in view of the beautiful work that he did finish, the lack of signature is a minor issue. We told him how that we love his painting because it is a "snapshot" of the Great Lakes landscape which is so beautiful that no one can ever replicate its beauty on canvas, yet his canvas reminds us of the beauty within the heigtened reality of a dream. Even his technique of layering thin layers of oil is unique to us. He probably thought we were full of the stuff that we are trying to get into Dora pooper, but he was very nice about it. It must be strange though that this may be the last time he will ever see this painting that he spent quite a bit of time on. As he finished his signature, he said "There, it is done".



While he was doing this, Sash was going around looking for eggs. Yup, she thinks we have kept EB hostage and we will have egg hunts all year round. And yes, she is still wearing yesterday's outfit. We had a little bath time issue last night...seems all her clothes are "MINE!! Stop, stop, Mine!!" so we cant take them off...ah well, saves me from doing the laundry...

Easter treats:Part Deux

Other than the fact that we are in a choc/blueberry pie induced coma, while Sash is on a sugar high, it is just another perfect Sunday...

Easter treats

Easter weekend started on the Friday for us, where we found this parked across the street. We now know how the bunny gets around...



I spent the morning looking for some plastic eggs and chocolate bunnies for Sash's first egg hunt (And before I get nasty comments, I celebrate any holiday that involves chocolate). I was not about to boil and paint eggs, mainly because I hate the taste of hard boiled eggs and also I am not keen on having some random stray egg stinking up the house months later. After stocking up on those essential items, we headed out to L's for a play date. S, L's dot had taken out her toys to share, and R was there with W. V, my immediate neighbour popped by but had left S her 9 month old son with his new nanny. She is starting work soon and has hired a nanny as it is not that much more than full time day care. Also, as a lawyer, she will not be able to pick up S at 5.30 sharp and if she adds up the overtime at $1-2 a minute, the nanny was the only way to go. She is worried though that S will not be able to have playdates with the non-nanny charges as there is some unwritten code that Mums have play groups among Mums, while Nannies have their own playgroups. Something to do with dynamics. Reeks of some form of -ism to me. I had warned L that I am semi-human before my morning Java so she had asked R, her husband, to make the coffee. She does not drink coffee. Huh? How is this possible? He also baked some loaves of bread for us to take home. And was the bread ever so delicious. I took some home for D, who asked if R knitted. I asked him why he was asking. He said that if he did he was going to march across the street to slap the man...making all the other husbands look bad. As it is, he religiously shovels the sidewalk, remodelled their kitchen himself, and looks damn good in tights (he was in the ballet). I told D I will ask L about the knitting..

On Saturday we decided to check out the Dinosaur exhibition at the ROM. We loved it. The ROM is so child friendly, with an excellent discovery centre where they can pretend to be paleontologists, dress up in costumes, touch fossils, and play with tea sets at the same time. Sash had to show Dini some of his ancestors...





The also have a tee pee in the discovery area where of course D was invited to play do-do...I was left outside taking the pics...



This morning, we woke up to glorious sun shine and the smell of coffee. I made a batch of blueberry pancakes and we had the egg hunt after breakfast. We then went to the local bakery to get some blueberry pie that I have been craving. We plan to just veg out and eat rubbish all day. Sash is still enthralled with her stash. I thought of asking her to share some of her chocs, but as you can see, I don't really need to pad the tummy more than it already is..cant believe I am 18 weeks already...halfway there baby, halfway there..

I am changing pediatricians. I have been lucky enough to find one which is 2 blocks away and accepting new patients. When I called Sash's current pediatrician to request that her records be transferred, I was asked why we wanted the change. I just told them that we felt we needed someone who better understood our situation. I didn't feel like telling the receptionist that her boss just got on my nerves. It all stemmed from my query about Sash's lack of appetite. She really does not eat at home. Apparently, she eats her lunch at daycare, I suppose because she mimics everyone else. At home though we are lucky if we get 2 chicken nuggets and some pasta in her. When I say some, I mean we count by strands. 10 strands of spaghetti is good, 5 is normal. If we are very lucky, she will eat a couple of slices of cucumber. And this is for the whole day. She survives on milk. Her eating habits have been driving me up the wall for a while. Sometimes, on a good day I just resign myself to the fact that at least she eats well 3 lunches a week at daycare and milk is considered a solid, and all is well, for me. On bad days I get upset and force her to eat her 1 chicken nugget under threats of my leaving the room or no TV. On seriously bad days I shout at her while she cries. The level of shouting and tantrums thrown by myself and Sash are usually dependant on the amount of sleep we both have. Sash has been getting up either at midnight or 3am, or 3am and 6am asking for milk. She is hungry but refuses to eat, so milk sustains her at night. Sash I think is like me...I do not handle lack of sleep very well. Usually, when D is around he takes on either the 3am or 6am milk run, sometimes both. He can also sense when I am just about to lose it and takes over coaxing Sash to eat, or just whisks her away so I can cool down. So it is very hard when D is away, as he is now. Therefore, when the pediatrician suggested that I try to be more imaginative with Sash's menu I just absolutely LOST IT. Does he have any idea how many toddler recipe books I have? The bags and bags of frozen pureed vegetables and fruits I have in the freezer as a result of trying out the "hiding veggies in food" technique? The many many times I spend half an hour preparing a special tasty dish that Sash just rejects in a 1 second mouthful? Does he have any idea how painful it is knowing that your child has only had half a tub of yogurt and half a fish stick the whole day? That she is the bottom 2 percentile weight wise? Does he have to throw food into the compost bin day in day out? Well, I already have enough issues dealing with Sash's baby-rexia to have someone who knows me or my life from Adam suggesting that I am not doing enough. So I ditched him and I have found another one who reassures me that this is just a stage and suggests that I put vitamin supplements in her milk. Sash is thin, but she is healthy and she is active, and that is all that matters. I realise that the old pediatrician was making a valid suggestion, but I feel I need someone to reassure me that all is fine as that way I will maybe lose it less often. I actually feel awful while I am shouting at her, and I know that I am taking out my frustrations as a result of pure fatigue out on this innocent kid, but even as I am feeling the guilt, I cannot stop myself. It just takes a second to trigger off the need to vent. I would never ever hit her of course, but I see the fear in her eyes when I start shouting and that makes me stop. But of course the damage is done. Luckily she has D to turn to for comfort. I have warned D that we need to get her to stop waking up for her milk or else I don't even want to think how I will react to lack of sleep what with meeting the demands of the new baby and Sash. (I was a zombie the first 6 months of Sash's life, and I even remember a few nights when she would wake me up crying yet again and I would think "God I hate this motherhood thing...") I need to ask the new pediatrician how we are going to do this. Friends have asked me how I have come to the decision to only have 2 children? This is because I know myself, and I am mentally and emotionally capable of caring for 2 children at the maximum as I do not have the required patience or temprement to handle more than that. I think if the second one is as fussy an eater as Sash, I will seriously consider medication...for me.

Rainy day

It has been raining for a while. Quite a relief as the rain will melt the snow, and boy do we need the snow to melt. Better for it to melt slowly, over time, than suddenly when the weather gets warmer. If that happens then we will be able to test how waterproof our basement is.

I was planning to head downtown to get a few things, such as a maternity swimsuit, a red top (for a dinner we are attending with the Bono Red theme) and a waffle maker. However, in view of rather dreary weather, I think I will just look for my swimwear and red top around here, and postpone my quest for a waffle maker closer to Sasha's birthday party. The only reason I am looking for a waffle maker is to make waffles for Sasha's birthday brunch. D and I decided that we will just have the neighbourhood gang over for brunch (yes, I know, again) and cake to celebrate Sasha's birthday. She is, as you may be aware, only a 2 year old that we have raised to have low expectations of us and as we have many more years of birthdays where clowns (I personally hate them, I find them creepy and my mind cannot differentiate a clown mask from the mask worn by Jason in Friday the 13th) and bouncy castles may be the order of the day we are keeping it simple, extremely simple. If she is lucky, she may get some balloons from the Party Shop round the corner. Not too many as we have to maintain the low expectations. Luckily for me, Mr Maximalist-anything-for-my-uber-cutest-baby-girl-in-the-Universe will be at a conference until Friday night, so I will be able to implement my Minimalist-because-you-are-too-young-to-care-or-be-eternally-grateful-to-me-your-life-giver decor for Saturday's brunch. Orange juice, coffee, scrambled eggs, waffles and bagels have been well tried and truly tested, so if the formula aint broke....


Yesterday, R, W's Mum called and asked if Sash could go over to theirs to play. L was going to be there with S. I had been trying to put Sash to bed for a couple of hours. She did not want to take her nap but she sat in her bed for 2 hours flipping through her Dora books (at times like this I truly deeply love my child....). So I figured why not. We went over, had cheese and crackers, talked about baby names, summer maternity clothes (I have already bought my maternity shorts and tank tops), nasty tent-like maternity swimwear (taking their advice, I will forgo maternity swimsuits and get a bikini that has a low rise bottom), babysitters etc while the kids played, hit each other, cried, apologized, did cute things...the usual. While R, who is extremely waspy, chatted about her answering the phone in Mandarin (she worked in Taiwan before), L apologized as she had to get S home to feed her dins and she herself had to get ready for a show..she was modelling in Toronto Fashion Week last night. After she left, R groaned about putting on weight and how it must be great to be a model. I told her I gave up my life long ambition of becoming a supermodel after I turned 18 and realized that no amount of starving myself would make me shoot up from 5'2 to 5'11. I decided then that law school was my fall back. We had a good laugh and I went home to bung dinner in the microwave and toss a salad. Tomorrow we have another playtime at L's. She has invited everyone over at 9am. I told her that I will come over on condition that she have coffee ready. I am semi-human before my first cup of Java.

I like my neighbours. They are a fun group. Having moved around quite a bit, we are very much aware of how lucky we are to have such a great bunch of people in the vicinity. Having said that, we cant attribute it to luck alone. My old friend asked me during lunch last weekend how we decided to settle in this neighbourhood. TO is such a vibrant and diverse cultural city that any new settler has a multitude of types of neighbourhoods to settle in, about 140 known neighbourhoods in the city itself. Lets not talk about the many many outlying suburbs where admittedly you can get more square footage for your Canadian dollar. You can spend your life looking for a house. How did we luck out? Well, we did alot of groundwork and research. D had lived here during his student days so he roughly knew where he did not want to live. This is also the GTA, which is the 5th most congested region in North America, with 5.5 million currently, and expected to rise another 2.5 within the next 10-20 years. It has the 5th most congested roads in North America, with LA in the lead. We knew we had to compromise space and all spare cash for convenience. The look of a house you can change with a good builder, location is invariable. We wanted to be near public transport. We especially looked extremely closely at demographics, including age, gender, ethnicity, household income, education levels. While we wanted to live within the culture and diversity, we did not want to do this at the expense of safety and Sash's educational opportunities. We narrowed our list down to 4 neighbourhoods only, and with a list of requirements and measly budget, directed our agent to only look at houses within these neighbourhoods. We were in the States then, so you can imagine what a pain it was to have to head up to TO, spend a couple of nights in a hotel, look at 10 houses in one session (after rejecting 3 times as many from the list emailed to us by our agent) dragging Sash in and out of the car the whole day, and repeating this over the course of a few months. As with all aspects of life, luck also came into play. Our home came on the market at the right time, we had a kick-ass agent who clinched the deal (and trust me, we have dealt with some dodgy agents) and the neighbours we have correspond to the demographic charts we relied on rather heavily. I think we have all gravitated towards each other because we are all in the same boat, yuppies in a previous life, now with 1.5 kids, having taken on an astronomical mortgage and therefore having to economize (Vintage for kids is a badge of honour), trying to get as much adult conversation yet still conversing about our child infused life, basically just getting a grip of how our lives have changed even before we were able to say "Huh? What the..." . Now you can imagine why the thought of possibly moving again just makes me sick....

Question of the day

Does washing down my pre-natal vitamin with coffee nullify the benefits of the vitamin, or the alleged ill effects of the caffeine?


Sasha is speaking in full sentences now, which is great because now we can have conversations. For example, this morning:

Sash: Daddy, where soothie go/Mum, where paci go? (She is semi-bilingual...she speaks Canadian and proper English at home)

Us: I don't know. Lets go look.

Sash: Okaaaaay (sighing). We go downstairs?

Us: We have to change your diaper first.

Sash: NO Diaper! No diaper!(And then while on the changing table) Cream, cream!

(Now downstairs) Sash: There's paci, under the couch. Thats mine. Carry you, carry you. (Which means carry me)

Us: Sash, we have to put on your ski suit now, we have to go to daycare.

Sash: Outside! Outside. Thats my boots. Mum, where shovel go? Where Dini?

Us: Dini has to dodo upstairs Ok. Here is you shovel.

Sash: Thank you. Bye Mum.

We had an old secondary school (high school) friend over for lunch yesterday. She lives in a suburb north east of Toronto with her husband and 3 sons. She is also preggers and her fourth child is due approximately 2 weeks before PD's ETD. We had lunch at her's before Christmas so it is ironic that we were both sitting at her dining table then wholly unaware that we were both preggers. She is hoping for a girl, and after spending the day with 3 very well behaved yet boisterous boys aged 7,5 and 3, we are rethinking the whole wanting a boy issue. They are a different breed altogether. We are also now THOROUGHLY CONVINCED that 2 is the LIMIT. Well, for me 2 has always been the maximum, and I would have been happy with Sash, but D was as yet uncertain...hmmm, maybe we should have had the boys over for lunch last November. He was so affected that he called his Dad to ask how having 7 kids did not drive him absolutely insane...hahahaha..FIL said "What makes you think I'm not?". Having said that, Sash was having a grand old time trying to keep up with the big boys (and yes sweetie, you will be doing this your whole life), wanting to mimic their every action during our walk to the park after lunch, from throwing snowballs into the stream to jumping into every puddle she came across. She was so taken with them that she even tried to get into their minivan as they were leaving...and to think we were worried about her socialization at one point.

We are planning to meet up again, hopefully soon. Probably during the Summer after we have both delivered. Her Mum will be flying in from USJ (a suburb outside KL)to help with her confinement, and as she will be confined at home for the duration, we will be the ones going to hers as I will not be allowed outdoors. If all goes as well as Sash's delivery, we will be back in Sherwood Park for our walks as soon as PD is home. She did ask me what I am doing confinement wise, and she seemed surprised that I am not following the traditional route in that regard. I, on the other hand, found it rather curious that she would be going through all that trouble and expense to stick to a tradition which really is only practicable if one has the required support system (cook, masseuse, nanny etc). She asked me if I wanted her Mum to get me some massage oils and herbal baths for me. I had to decline nicely and explain (again nicely) that it would be slightly challenging for me to entertain Sash, take care of the newborn, and still take time for a herbal bath. And I really don't have the time, or inclination, to take a "Massage yourself" class. Very sweet of her to offer though. She also asked if I am at least restricting my food intake to confinement food. As I have no idea what the heck confinement food is (apparently contains lots of ginger to heat the body), my food intake will be restricted to the many restaurants in the area that deliver, preferably sashimi or penne arrabiatta, and as for the heating the body issue, it will be in the middle of August for Gods sake..nature will heat my body fine. I get the feeling that she disapproves of my non-conforming to appropriate post-natal behaviour. I however would rather poke my eyes out with blunt wooden chopsticks than eat ginger infused bland food while under house arrest at the height of Summer. Ok, maybe I will relent slightly and check out the Shiatsu massage center round the corner.

During lunch, we were chatting about the boys' personalities. Friend's hubby mentioned that while on a Disney cruise they took a few years ago, the boys were asked to pick one toy. The eldest chose a Minnie doll, while the other 2 chose Mickey dolls. Hubby tried to persuade eldest son to choose a Mickey instead. He refused. Hubby is relieved though that eldest son recognizes that his choice may have been sissy-fied (in his own words) and he only sleeps with Minnie when he is alone and hides it in the closet when visitors are about. I generally do not criticize anyone for their parental strategies, but I just laughed and said that it is strange that he would think that way. If it were my son, I would be much happier that he sleep with Minnie than Mickey. Heck, a Barbie would even be better. I just said this on a lark, but I think Hubby plans to go straight home and hide the Mickey dolls. D told me later that night, as we were having our hot cocoa, that PD can sleep with a cross-dressing baboon doll for all he cares. Just as long as he never feels the need to hide it from anyone....

This is what happens when Sasha is left to her own devices for 5 minutes...



She loves to draw with markers, especially her purple marker.



We had not anticipated her experimentation with body art. Luckily for us/her, the markers are washable.



She is ignoring her Dad as he reminds her rather forcefully that she is ONLY to draw on paper. She has so inherited the ability to zone out and think of England while being told off from me..this is what they call Karma.

We were thinking of giving her a time out, but we have yet to find a new time out corner. We discovered last night during a time out that she found a spot from the corner where she could sit and watch the TV from an angle, in effect making her time out rather entertaining. She continually drives us crazy, but damn she's entertaining.

We all went to the pre-natal clinic yesterday for another check-up and the second part of my blood work. The first part confirms that I do not have syphilis (does this still exist??), or any other nasty downers, that I have immunity for chicken pox, which will also protect PD (previously known as PJ but I am so over Javier and now the #1 preferred name is Dylan) and that there are no concerns as yet. They are still not taking any chances so on April 3 I will have another more detailed ultrasound to detect any spots in bladder or water in brain, that sort of thing. And oh yes, if I want to know the sex I can probably find out then. If??!! I don't think Dr S is aware of my penchant for instant gratification, how waiting for 9 months for something is bad enough, and not finding out the sex would probably drive me insane. It will be fun to find out the sex of PD on Sasha's birthday. It will be a second birthday present for her. We bought her first present at the Art Expo last weekend, an oil on canvas. We will hang it on her wall...I think...we have it in our living room now and it is beginning to look right at home there...hmmmmmm..





It is a painting of The Foxes, a group of islands in Georgian Bay, which is gorgeous, popular, therefore prohibitively expensive, cottage country close to Toronto. It may take us decades of extremely hard work to afford a piece of Georgian Bay, but at least for Sasha's second birthday we can give her a piece she will be able to take with her wherever she lands in her future.

Randomness

I am quite disappointed with NY Governor (former NY attorney general) Eliot Spitzer's alleged implication in federal wire-tap transfers involving the hiring of call girls in Washington on Feb 13 (I wonder if he ordered some flowers for his wife for Valentines day while he was at it). I liked Spitzer. I think however he should have hired NY based call girls and arranged to meet in NYC. I mean seriously, isn't he supposed to help the NY economy?

Yesterday, while I was walking down Yonge, a man came up to me and started speaking in a foreign language. I told him I could not understand him. He kept on talking. I finally said "No Hablas Espanol" as he looked Latino. He then said "No, are you Filipino?" I felt like responding Dude, if I am would I have just told you I did not speak Spanish? But I just said, No, sorry (why I apologized I have no idea) and moved on.

Yesterday morning, D called me at home and asked me to get a babysitter for dinner as we had to meet M and another regulator from Montreal for dinner. D obviously has never had to locate a babysitter in such short notice. I called the usual suspects, they were busy. I asked a neighbour for a few names that could be counted on short notice. She had a good one but she was on holiday in the Bahamas (I asked how much she tipped her babysitter??). But she also gave me a number for another neighbour who has a teenage son and daughter who babysit...they live about 10 houses down so it is understandable that I have no idea of their existence. I called. The Mum, K, called us back at 5pm to tell us that the kids were on holiday in France (seriously, I am in the wrong line of work, or rather non-work) but if we were really desperate she would watch Sash for us...what are neighbours for. For a split second I was about to politely thank her for her kind offer and call up D to tell him to go for dinner on his own and make up an excuse for my absence. I knew this woman from Adam but I was just so desperate that I found myself thanking her for the offer, giving her our address and telling her that we would be back by 11pm. I rationalised my decision by telling myself that she would not make such an offer unless she was sincere. If she wasn't, then lesson learned that you shouldn't make random offers. She arrived at 7.30, Sash cried a bit, and we left for the subway, all the while discussing how random acts of kindness can make a difference in people's lives. We came home at 11.15pm to a sleeping girl and a new friend. I am still wondering whether we were extremely lucky last night to have made contact with K or that such kindness is around us but we just, either due to pride or the fear of inconveniencing others, don't take up such opportunities. Later this afternoon, D and I are going to get a huge bouquet of flowers for K, who refused payment last night. Next week D and I are going to talk to another neighbour to ask them if they could watch Sash when I go into labour in August. They may be reluctant to take on the job, or they make agree without hesitation. Either way, no harm in asking.

I was actually well and truly stumpped this afternoon. Let me start from the beginning. D and M, who flew in from Sydney, had a meeting downtown this morning. They have another meeting this afternoon at the Uni. Instead of going through the torture of looking for parking, and not to mention paying the price of a small Indian car for it, D decided to take the subway downtown and drag M back here to get the car and head out for the next meeting. As they had some time between meetings, we all decided to have an early lunch at our local Italian, La Vecchia. We love the service, the food, and more importantly, the fact that they open for lunch at 11am. It was during lunch that M asked, "So, what are you working on now?". I have done some consulting work for his company so this was asked in genuine interest. And for once, I was stumpped. Previously, I could tell him that I was working on my thesis, on defending my thesis or on another paper. I went through my mental list of stock answers, which admittedly didnt sound overly convincing even to myself. I told him I was working on looking for a job. He pointed out that I am pregnant, not particularly hire-able, and hence I cant be working too hard in that regard. I mentioned that I am working on some data, although that is such a catch all excuse for post-docs. I told him about this grant I am trying to apply for for post-doctoral funding from the Dutch government. But again, that isnt really a project. Bt what was I supposed to say, that I basically do fuck all, other than entertaining one child and marinating another, my life really is boring as batshit. I look forward to things like The Toronto Flower and Garden Festival on Wednesday, and my doctors appointment on Thursday to get me out of the house. I wake up, toast a bagel, have my coffee, check email, blog, read blogs, read a paper, do other stuff, spend 20 minutes trying to figure out what I can cook for dinner which will only take 15, repeat, and Bobs your uncle, its time to sleep. Seriously, even as I am typing this I am wondering, what the hell do I do the whole day, every day? Does anyone else have a problem accounting for their time? Or is this just a personal issue? Should I worry about my lack of activity, or should I just come up with a couple of more interesting stock answers like ..I am trying out each and every Jamie Oliver recipe, or I am working on the great Canadian novel. Yes, I think thats the way to go. I shall spend the rest of the day thinking of quirky, interesting faux projects. That should take up a few hours.

Record breaker

The brunch was great fun. We do have some leftover croissants and blueberry pancakes, but just enough for tomorrow's breakfast. The kids played well together as did the adults. The main topic of conversation: The record snowfall. In TO, about 30 centimetres of snow is expected to fall by this evening, putting TO in line to qualify for its all-time snowiest winter. The record, set in 1934, is 207 centimetres. Prior to this weekend's snowfall, the city had 170 centimetres of snow. Seems ironic that we push our clocks forward an hour tomorrow.

The main gripe: The bloody shovelling .

Since we had too much to eat at brunch, we thought we would have a light dinner. Popcorn prepared by D. Of course, as soon as we zapped our dinner in the microwave, we receive a call from a good friend who just flew in from Sydney. He is staying at the Royal York and wanted to visit us. So we told him to hop on the subway as the roads are just treacherous, and D met him at our station with the required weather appropriate gear. As soon as he stepped foot through the front door, he boomed "You idiots left Sydney for this fuckin weather??!!". Yes mate, we question our decision sometimes.

The morning after...

Sash loves Thursday night because that is our TV night. We cheer as the worst Idol contestants are voted off, and then we watch back to back Lost. On a certain channel here they air the previous week's Lost episode before the new episode, with text commentary outlining how certain aspects of the scenes are related. Brilliant! So on Thursdays instead of taking her bath at 8-8.30pm, having a slew of Dora books read and bedtime sometime after 9.00pm, we forgo the bath, take her upstairs at 10, read her 3 books and put her to bed by 10.30-11. D and I sit down and analyse the episodes, trying to figure out who the 6th Oceanic survivor is. I say Micheal (if Ben is not counted and Aaron is), while D thinks it is Locke. Suffice it to say she reaches her daycare on Friday morning in a zombie like state. And this will continue until the Summer. Which cannot come too soon. We had a major snowfall a few days ago, and reports are in to expect another 30cm over the weekend. Luckily we have no solid plans this weekend other than to have brunch tomorrow with our neighbors. I am thinking of keeping it simple with lots of coffee, freshly squeezed orange juice (by this I mean freshly squeezed by our friendly neighbourhood market), croissants and pain au chocolate, homemade blueberry pancakes with homemade strawberry syrup and maple syrup (this is Canada), scrambled eggs and sausages. And of course cheese sticks for the kiddies. Talk will most probably center around the new proposal by the Liberals to allow tax deductible contributions of up to $5000 per annum to RESPs. RESPs are children's education funds which are allowed to appreciate tax-free, and the govt also tops up up to $500 per annum to encourage savings by parents. Contributions are currently not tax deductible, and there is a lifetime limit of $50,000 per RESP, but if the proposal is approved it would mean massive tax savings for those in the middle class especially. If we max out the contributions at $10,000 per annum for 2 kids, we could save more than $3500 in taxes per annum. Tax rates are extortionate here, at 35-40% per annum. The argument is that whatever loss of revenue to the govt will be made up by more highly educated children in the future. We really hope this proposal is approved because the tax savings would just be such a bonus. Granted, we would max out the RESP limits even without such savings as we calculate that it would cost us approximately $400,000 for Sash and PJ to be given the freedom to choose any college they want to attend in 18 years, even an Ivy League US one. We of course hope that they choose to study where D works because then tuition will be waived and we will convert their education fund to our own enjoy ourselves till we drop dead fund.

On Sunday we are thinking of checking out the Toronto Art Expo as we are looking for a piece to liven up Sasha's room. We have been looking at some kiddie art decor, you know the type, mass produced cute-sy animal prints on canvas that still cost around $200 each. At that price range we would rather buy her something that will age as well as she presumably will, but nothing too expensive because then we might as well put it on our bedroom wall. Luckily for us, our house is extremely tiny so wall space is precious, hence we have to be extremely picky about what goes up. Hopefully we can find something cheap and cheerful. Just like us.

Ben, you made my week....

This is the most hilarious video I have seen in ages..mind you, it made offend some.

I decided this afternoon that I would clear out the junk cupboard built in under the basement stairs and convert it into Sash's toy closet. We dont buy her many toys, but she receives many stuffed toys from her grandparents, aunts and cousins. We do try to ensure that she is allowed gender neutral play so for every doll, she also has a car or instrument. She has both a doll house and a train set. I felt that we were being swamped with toys in the basement and as it is not only Sasha's play area but also ours, I thought it is about time she had a place to store her toys properly and that they be organized in some way.

I started by moving every single paint can in the cupboard into another cupboard in the downstairs loo. Then everything else was cleared, either chucked into the loft or the trash can. I vacuumed the space and covered the shelves with some batik cloth I have lying around (Terengganu batik, no less) with the aid of a stapler. I cant paint due to my condition so covering the shelves with bright prints was the next best solution.

I present you, the new toy haven...

You know why I hate it when D has jet lag/is insomniac..well, he forgets that he is alone on that boat. Well, he either forgets or totally chooses to ignore the fact that others, mainly ME, are happily sleeping away. So I get woken up in the middle of the night only to be asked if he is allowed to drink his hot chocolate in bed or to switch on the light to read. Does he not realise that if had not woken me up he could do all these things without my knowing/caring? Sometimes I think that marriage is an institution dreamed up by men to save their kind from the effects of their inane behaviour. But for women, cats would rule the world.

The weather s above freezing today...yay. Sash will be happily greeting Spring soon.

I found out this morning that a dear dear friend is being induced tomorrow morning. I cannot wait to welcome Bubba (no, not the name to be chosen, although wouldnt that be a shocker) Wetmore into this crazy wonderful world we live in. Have a safe ride down that canal buddy!

D is still jet lagged so as a result I keep weird hours too. He went for a run at 4am, tried to sleep at 6am, gave up and decided to start the day at 7. I felt I had to keep him company so I too woke at 7am on a Sunday to join him for coffee. Sash woke up soon after and was up and ready to start the day. We decided to take a walk at the nearby Mount Pleasant Cemetery. After the walk we thought of heading home to have some breakfast but Sash, probably suffering from cabin fever, refused to head home so we thought it would be a nice change to head to a diner for a slap up breakfast. We thought we were the only ones out and about until we entered the closest diner we could find on Yonge, about 2 blocks away. It was packed to the brim with people who looked alert enough. Breakfast was cheap too..well, less than $20 for two persons, but we spend that much for 2 coffees and pastries at Starbucks anyway. We had so much fun enjoying the good food and absorbing the buzz in the diner that we have decided that it will be a new family tradition, a nice long Sunday morning walk and breakfast after. After breakfast we thought of heading home as D was about to doze off post coffee, omelette, toast and home fries, but again Sash was not about to be stuck at home. She toddled about round the block for another 20 minutes before she decided that she had had enough. We finally headed home...where she insisted that her daddy Dance with her. I like Sundays..