Pissy Galore

When Sasha is not in daycare and we are staying mostly at home, we forgo the diaper and let her wear her big girl panties with another extra layer of thin vinyl panties. Potty training is one thing, pee smelling silk carpets is a whole nother. Apparently, she is supposed to dislike the feeling of wetness, complain, and we can then get her to the potty. We have also started sitting her on her potty in the mornings (as per J's advice), to get her used to going. Unfortunately, we had not taken into account the possibility that she does not mind being wet. We realise now how her ability to wallow in her own piss/poo filled diapers for a whole day may have worked to our advantage when we were using expensive diapers, but not so much during potty training. So her new nickname is Pissy Galore. We will persevere, and while our diaper bills may be somewhat reduced, I am pretty sure our electricity bills will rise drastically in view having to use the washing machine and dryer more than a couple of times on weekends. We have to go through another few weeks of this before we start her at daycare. Hopefully J will get better results.

This morning, to give D alone time to get some work done, I took Sash to the splash pad. Although on weekends they do not fill up the pad to make it into a splash pool (no lifeguards to chlorinate the water unlike on weekdays), I must say she really loves it there and just kept running back and forth for 2 hours. I think I prefer the pad without the water filled as it is much easier to keep an eye on her.













She took a 3 hour nap after..and so did I. This will be our new home away from home.

The Williams sisters are playing the finals as I type this. I have not been following the tournament but I do like to know the outcome. I think I havent really been that much of a fan since the Lendl and Sampras days..since I realised the odds of my becoming a professional tennis player were pretty much in the negatives.

I wonder how the Williams family dynamics works on days like this. On the bright side, the parents are able to watch both daughters play without splitting up. Must be difficult to decide which parent goes to support which daughter on which court. On the other hand, how do you cheer for one and not the other? Or do you cheer for both, which we know cant feel right as being behind the winner just means being first loser. What about after the game? How do they go about consoling the one daughter while presumable planning the celebration dinner for the other? How do they deal with the "Its not fair" tantrums?

Nap time

I am thinking of getting rid of Sasha's naps. We have found in the past few weeks..could it be only 2, or more? Just seems like a lifetime..she is sleeping later and later. Last night she slept at 11pm. We started her routine at 8pm as usual. She just refused to sleep. She has stopped her tantrums, but that may be because we use her attempts to get our approval against her in that I have no qualms about continuing to read my book in bed while she stands next to me for an hour. I will ask her every 10 minutes if she has decided to get into bed. She will usually say no and I reassure her that she can do anything she wants but she is NOT getting into bed with me nor is she going downstairs...so her options are pretty limited. She wants to test wills?? Well, you've chosen the wrong person baby..You inherited that stubbornness from ME! It usually works much much faster if her Dad doesn't get involved. If he does then she knows whose strings she has to pull. As it is she now only wants Daddy to read her bedtime stories. When I read to her, 3 is he limit and then we start the whole test of wills, which she will give up soon enough and she lies in bed until she sleeps. She knows that Mummy does not want to be mad. When we leave it to her Dad, I find them having tickling fests, or building towers etc. She cries her crocodile tears and her Dad is in there for an extra hour reading. I leave it up to them usually as it is HIS hour or two and Sasha probably needs the balance between good cop bad cop that we play at home. Last night, as I went up to get my book, I found D giving Sash piggy back rides...sigh....so I reminded him that getting her revved up for play really isn't the best route to putting her to bed. You should have seen how contrite both looked as I caught them..hahahaha..quite funny actually. She also knows that if D is in bed, she will go to his side and stand there..tickle his feet etc and poof, before I can say DoDo Sasha she is in bed with us being tickled. I give them 5-10 minutes of playtime then I give her an ultimatum..her bed..or her bed. Usually by then I am either using a very low tone so she knows that Mummy will be shouting in a few minutes unless...she knows then that she is thiiiis close to pushing the boundaries. We then get her tucked in and a couple of rounds of Buenos Noches later, she is in on her way to lalaland.

So, I am thinking maybe she will be more amendable to night sleep if she does not have naps. But I need that 2-3 hour break when she naps, and she is required to nap at daycare anyway (Thats how we became religious about nap times...call it day care persecution). And the idea of taking away the nap times with the baby coming just makes me sick actually. Maybe we will try playing it by ear and let her stay awake in the afternoons if she really doesn't want to nap. Right now some days we have a similar sort of struggle during nap times when she is at her most alert. Except she stays in bed and sings...

How can you tell that I'm a nerd? Well, I tried my best to stay up all night to read this...



A fascinating account of the Walmart formula. Although I have only been to Walmart twice in my life, I rate this as Highly Recommended!! Well written and intriguing insight into the secretive Walmart model, inspiring, yet at the same time, loathsome. Funnily enough, reading this just makes we want to shop there. Luckily for us, the closest Walmart is about a 20 minute drive away. D values his time and anything that takes him away from his computer that is not "Unit" related is a waste of time. To him a visit to the doctor is a waste of time. He would rather pay the 15% extra as long as it can be obtained 5 minutes faster. I,on the other hand, do not see shopping as a waste of time. In fact, I like it a bit too much...way too much... I am however not a buyer, but a shopper in that I like the experience more than the actual purchasing...unless of course said purchase is from LV or Gucci. That is why I prefer to visit our local markets, to buy what I need in smaller quantities, so that I have an excuse to pop out and get a tomato on a daily basis....alas, am not able to do this at Gucci. While slightly more expensive than the nearby supercentres and the not so nearby Walmart, I figure I save money as I am not tempted to buy other unnecessaries that I figure I deserve due the savings that I make..I am a sucker for a sale..and since I am already there, why not stock up? So that explains why in my few years in New York and Toronto, I have only seen the inside of this behemoth of a North American institution twice. While reading the book last night, I tried again to persuade D to switch our monthly shopping to Walmart..No go..he doesn't like wasting his time looking for parking.

Speaking of shopping, I miss buying, and of course wearing nice frivolous things. Impractical things. Like bags, cute dresses, shoes with heels and suits. Things I used to buy when I worked. When what I wore out mattered just in case I met that soulmate..like my wearing that certain Ferraggamo determined whether my soul mate would see it and say "Now there's my soul mate" and not "Uh, skanky bag,...waste of my soulmate time"...hahahaha...yes, my soul mate then was gay. I had, had to wear that right outfit to get me from the meetings with the Ministry of Finance to that meeting with bankers at Finnegan's after. I was so shallow, (but well dressed)and loved it! It is different now with me being a dependant and supplementary card holder. With thoughts of 2 postgraduate educations for each child to finance to boot..let me rephrase that..Sash and Dylan can be anything they want, they can be Nascar driving hairdressers for all I care, as long as they do this after getting their 2 postgraduate qualifications...in Nascar driving hairdressing if they wanted to. The last handbag I bought was my small Speedy..and the main consideration then was that it could lock (for travelling) and I could fit wipes, a diaper and a bottle in it and still have space for my wallet and phone (thing about being unemployed is that you carry less personal effects). The size was perfect as due to my being vertically challenged, a few centimetres could mean the difference between handbag and hand luggage. I have not bothered much with bags as I know that I will be glued to my diaper bag for the next 2 years anyway (Tip: In view of the many years of intended use, I persuaded D to get me my dream diaper bag as a Birthday and Xmas present combined...way worth forgoing stocking stuffers). Ditto with shoes. I dont think I know how to walk in heels anymore. I am eyeing a pair of Birkenstocks..how sad is that?

I had my biweekly check up this morning. Substitute Doctor (DrS is on holiday) not that happy that I have not gained weight since the last 2 check ups. Still at 132 pounds. I say YAY!! Bugger you I thought, its not you who has to walk around breathless with extra pounds and wait 2 years to take it all off. Now to celebrate with a fruit smoothie...

Canada Day

It was Canada Day, or the Canadian Independence Day yesterday. Many Canadians took the opportunity to have a long weekend by taking Monday off. They either went off to their cottages or they hit the city sights and beaches. As you can tell, with our rather flexible work schedule, yesterday was like any other day in that it was up to us to either work or do jack all at home. We thought of taking the subway to the waterfront and having lunch to celebrate Canada Day but realised that even if 0.1% of Torontonians had the same idea, it would be absolute madness there. We compromised by working in the morning, taking a nice long walk to the Alexander Muir Memorial Gardens in the early afternoon and joining the neighbours for a dip and chat after the kiddies had their afternoon naps. I may have mentioned that naps are religiously adhered to amongst the neighbours here.









We walked through Sherwood Park, across to the Blythwood Ravine and on to the gardens with Sasha insisting on petting every doggy that came along. Suffice it to say it took a fair bit longer than usual, but hey, we had the time to spare. The last time I visited he garden was last Fall, but D takes the same route for his runs. I had forgotten about the gem of a garden we have so close by. I suppose it is normal to take your surroundings for granted and it really hit home how lucky we are to live so close by the ravine system as we passed the jam packed car park, the filled to capacity splash pad and playground on our way to the garden. We hardly recognised any of the parents and kids (trust me, when you visit the park at least 15 times a week, you get to know who the regulars are) so we figured them to be "tourists" taking advantage of the awesome weather on Canada Day, while avoiding the madness at the Zoo, Science Center, Toronto Island and Beaches.

After Sasha's nap, we headed across the street to our neighbour's house for chips and dip (in their little pool). It is very much a luxury here to have a pool due to the short seasons and the lack of outdoor space. Luckily for us, we have great neighbours who are ever so generous with their invites...I suspect we will be visiting them alot this Summer in view of our not being able to get away this Summer.







I have just realised that I am 33 weeks pregnant today. Holy Guacamole..not far to go.

Sasha will be going on a field trip today. Her first ever, with her daycare mates. They are not venturing far, just the splash pad in the park which is about oh, 200 metres from her daycare. Still, it is her first trip, a milestone for US, and so Doug and I were quite excited last night getting her stuff ready. Her swim suit, a huge towel, her hat, swimmer diapers and her water shoes. We took her to the same splash pad last Thursday for a swim but we let her walk and splash around barefoot. J however insisted that we get her water shoes or Crocs as she will not let the kids go barefooted in the park....she does have a way of making us aware of our rather blase parenting. So yesterday afternoon I insisted that Doug come along for the shoe shopping expedition as I find it a bit too tiresome..and we ended up with a pair each.



Mine cost 18 bucks, while hers cost 30 bucks? Seriously, how is that logical?

After the shoe shopping expedition, we decided to let her cool own in the back yard in her own pool. In addition to her little house, her sandbox/picnic table, and her slide, we have added to the plastic junk collection in the backyard by adding a paddle pool.



She absolutely loves taking a dip, then running into her house, then taking a dip again.



And we love watching her doing this.

D isnt feeling well. He is down with the flu. Well, that's only my opinion. If you ask him, and he has been very vocal about this, he is on death's bed and he has been struck with some newfangled disease that renders him totally and utterly helpless. He is of course the only one in the whole wide world who is sick at this moment in time so the whole universe has to revolve around him. I now have 2.5 babies at home.

In addition to my having to listen to his moans and groans, I have to organise a semi-vegetarian barbecue lunch tomorrow. Oxymoron eh. We are having a couple over. A is an English academic who is vegetarian, and D, his significant other, is an Italian carnivore. I am thinking chips and cheese and crackers for appies, grilled marinated tofu skewers with satay sauce, tomato, mozzarella and basil (fresh from our herb garden thankyouverymuch) salad, grilled salmon (somehow eating ground up cow patties seem strange with a vegetarian looking on), maple syrup glazed sweet potatoes, grilled portobello mushrooms and iced lemon tea for refreshments (if I am not Sangria, nobody else is!). They are bringing desert. Should be fun although there is no way in hell Sasha is going down for a nap while they are over...so we shall see where Her Grumpyness takes us.

Sasha has been quite a handful this past week. Enough of a handful that even D has lost his patience a few times...unbelievable as it may be. She has been totally refusing to sleep and where it used to take us an hour to get her to bed, it can now take up to 3 hours. It is getting to the point where in exasperation I just tell her that she can do whatever the hell she wants to do, I get into bed and tune her out. Usually within an hour she will give in and ask to be put to bed. She is extremely strong willed and has no qualms about standing or sitting in one spot with her chubby little arms crossed and telling us that she is mad. To get her point across, she will, as she is shedding crocodile tears or having hysterics, tell us that she is crying. You know, just in case the reason why she is not getting her way is that we cannot hear her crying. Although we are directly in front of her, wondering what demon has possessed or child. She is really really testing her boundaries and it is getting increasingly difficult for us, well, me especially, to maintain them. If she had been like this in November I can tell you that there would be no second baby on the way. As it is I have never really wanted children because I have experienced the tantrums of younger siblings. Ever an optimist, I figured maternal instinct would kick in and all will be well. Well, maternal instinct is failing me with her current behaviour and I am, as I control my temper with her, thinking what the hell am I in for for the next few years. If I had a do-over, I sometimes wonder if I would opt for the easier DINK route. Hmmmmm...

We bought a bird feeder yesterday. It isn't the one that I liked most, but it was the most decent looking among the "anti-squirrel" line. In addition to TO being the raccoon capital of the world, we also have to contend with squirrels eating up birdseed and bulbs. Ah well, we are in their habitat.

I had Sasha help me with filling up the feeder. Of course alot of the seed ended up on the floor, but vacuuming is a small price to pay for her excitement in putting up her very own bird feeder. Of course within 5 seconds of putting it us she is asking where the birds are. Obviously the need for instant gratification comes from her Mum.



We also took her out to get her big girl panties. We have been asked by J at daycare to initiate potty training, as she is herself using this obsession with being a ballerinna to full use. So now, all ballerinnas tell J or Mummy and Daddy when they pee or want to poo, and they also wear ballerina panties and kushies (flannel lined waterproof panties to be used at daycare so that she feels wet, but pee does not get on the carpet). We found the kushies at ToysRUs, but had to get the panties at GapKids. Ok, I could have taken the subway downtown to get them at any of the many huge department stores, but being the lazy git that I am, I headed to our local Gap and bought the only option they had...set of 7 low rise bikini in XXS. So my dress obsessed kid will be potty trained using low rise bikinis with logos along the line of "Life's a beach" and "Gorgeous". She will so be in therapy soon. All the books tell us to get her involved in the process of getting the panties, but she was not interested and went about looking for more dresses. Doug bought her a green one that she approved of, she was not keen on a purple one that was on sale...seriously, she is only TWO. So on Monday, we begin the torture of potty training.

D was back and is gone again. I think he is in Chicago..well, somewhere Stateside. This time it is only overnight so it shouldnt upset Sash's routine too much. It has been a busy few days. We celebrated Father's Day with a nice brunch at Homeway, our new fave destination. After the most excellent French toast we took a walk in the cemetery nearby. It was quite obvious that more people visit deceased Mums than Dads. Unlike our Mothers Day walk in the cemetery, we didnt have to watch out for too many cars. When we got home, we opened presents, a nice tie from Sash and running apparel from all of us. D and Sash decided to put together a miniature inflatable balloon and launch it. It worked a little too well..floating all the way into the neighbour's yard. The fun and excitement did help tire both out so Father's day ended with a nice nap.







On Monday, D and I played truant from everyday life and walked to the closest Burger King for lunch. It just so happens that it is located in the cinema so we ate our Whopper meals while watching the new Indiana Jones movie. I rather enjoyed it although I think it may be a bit too simplistic, or should I say, old fashioned for today's audience. Just goes to show that although most movies nowadays rely too much on CGI and what not, they do have more complex story lines and plots. After lunch, we headed to Starbucks for iced chai lattes and lemon tarts. I must say, I love my neighbourhood.

Yesterday, as Sash didn't have daycare, we thought a treat was in order so we took her to the Toronto Zoo. We have lived here for a year and believe it or not, although it is only a 20 minute drive away, yesterday was the first time we took her to the zoo. Boy, did she absolutely love it. As the Toronto Zoo is one the of the largest zoos in the world, we decided to only target a few areas and leave the rest for future visits. So we only hit the Indo-Malaya area, the African Savanna and the Australasian area. To witness the jaw dropping moment when Sash saw her first live elephant feeding was worth the $40 dollar entrance fee. She loved the tigers, zebras, kangaroos, monkeys, gorillas, hippos, rhinos and fish. She especially liked finally meeting the Kookaburra she sings about.







I think next week we will take her to a petting zoo.

Ballerina girl

Sash is obsessed with ballerinas. Luckily for us, she thinks that anyone wearing a dress or a skirt is a ballerina. Her favourite outfit, until today, was her sailor themed long shirt and leggings because well, she thinks she is a ballerina when wearing said outfit (I am pretty relieved she has in mind more of the contemporary modern ballet, albeit nautically set, than the whole girly Swan Lake shebang). Her Daddy thinks it is absolutely adorable (but then he thinks her farting is adorable too..chip of the old block apparently) and knowing him, he will be out in a shot buying her utterly impractical tutus and leotards. So to circumvent such nonsense I pointed out the few dresses that she has in her closet (mostly presents as I tend to buy her trousers) and have labeled them her Ballerina dresses. She is in heaven, and I dont have to figure out how to machine wash a tutu. D now wants to enrol her in ballet classes. We have to wait til she is 3 I told him. Little does he realise that if she is anything like me, who absolutely detested ballet classes, she will outgrow this fetish for all things ballet related. Hopefully in the next few months. One can only hope. If I hated the actual dancing experience, I cannot imagine how excruciating having to sit through a class watching a bunch of 3 year olds doing it will be.

So this morning she wore the first of her new Ballerina dresses.



She usually wears this to play or to get the paper at the newsagents.



But today, she wore her BD, took along her first purse, her pail and shovel and lets not forget her tiara...



She is definitely not getting this from me...

Lunchbag letdown

I have the flu, for which I cannot take drugs. Doug is away, again. Sasha is in daycare today. I had a craving for popcorn, so I decided to treat myself to a movie. I was torn between the new Indiana Jones, or SATC. I figured that I had to watch Indy with D, as he would be absolutely gutted if we didnt catch it together. So SATC it was. I must confess that although we live 4 blocks from multiplex movie theatre, D and I have only been to it once. As I may have mentioned in an earlier post, we tend to have date days instead of date nights as it is much more convenient/economical. So a few times in the past year since Sash has been in daycare, we hit downtown or the neighbourhood for a lunch date, or a movie and lunch. The last time we caught a movie, Doug paid so I had no idea how expensive watching a movie can be. My ticket, popcorn and diet soda was approximately $24. How do teenagers go on dates nowadays? Does this mean that when Sash or Dylan want to catch a movie we have to fork out $50 a shot (taking into account inflation)? Also, while it took me 3 seconds to purchase my ticket, it took me about 5 minutes to figure out which Special combo I should get at the concession stand..is it cheaper to get the regular drink and popcorn alone, or the Indy combo with special drink cup and pack of M&Ms...or should I get the nachos at half price?? So anyway, back to my point. I found my popcorn to be more enjoyable than the movie. It wasn't bad, but it was a lunchbag letdown. It was to me more worthy of a double episode season cliffhanger than a movie. Yes, it tied up the loose ends, but I cannot believe that after building up the characters after all those seasons, the writers would allow them to "cop-out" so to speak. I would have liked to see Carrie make Big squirm big time. Where was the drama?? Also, as mentioned by many critics, there was way too much product placement. The characters, and especially Carrie, was never that brand obessessed in the series. I felt like it was Carrie does Hong Kong. Although I must add that I now have a craving for all things LV and Chanel.

After the movie, I decided to get D's Father's Day present in advance. Sash and Dylan are getting him a running shirt and shorts. After getting advice from the experts I think we have a couple of winners. 2 salespersons asked me if I ran too, to which I replied, "Sorry, I'm a starver, not a runner." Which is unfortunately so very true...

I am in possession of my trusty old computer now that D is back and has bought his new one. Yay. I have caught up with some, if not all, emails and have downloaded pics taken over the past few weeks. Like these...



Sash with the original Dini...may he be happy wherever he is and whoever stole him have bad karma heaped upon him/her for the next 7 generations. This was taken on the train ride from TO to Montreal. On the way back she had to settle for...



Arnold, the snoring pig. I have however received the 2 new replacement Dini's and so if we lose all three..well, there's always therapy.

It has been sweltering here in TO the last few days. It seems like we had a week of nice brisk Spring weather and now it is just damn hot. After the first day of temps rising above 30 degrees, and getting close to 40, I realised that Sash did not have appropriately skimpy clothing, not to mention hats and sunscreen. Luckily, BabyGap is a 3 minute walk away so off we went after daycare to stock up on summer pyjamas, Tshirts and capri pants. I thought of buying her stuff in prime colours so she will be able to hand them down to Dylan...she was however having none of that so capris are pink, Tshirts in pastels and so are her jammies. I have no idea where she got her girly genes from. Did I mention that her Auntie K, my sis-in-law, bought her a My First Purse for her birthday..it is a little purple handbag with a compact, keys, lipstick and mobile phone inside..which Sash just loves and insists on carrying wherever she goes...even across the street to visit her friends. She is, I think, going to be an expensive child.

While D was away, we kept ourselves entertained by attending birthday parties. One was a coffee morning birthday, which sounds simple enough until you factor in Starbucks doing the catering. The kids of course were just happy to play and eat gobs of icing (which totally screws up naptime), so I can only conclude that the catered food (organic fruit salads, cakes ordered 3 weeks in advance..you get the drift), decorations and loot bags are mainly for the benefit of parents. Oh, the loot bags...I had no idea what a big deal they are. The hosts of the parties that Sash was invited to quite obviously put alot of thought into what went into the loot bags...or rather the shops they bought the tailored loot bags from. These were no ordinary knick-knacks thrown into a paper bag (or in my case, an Ikea stuffed toy), these were themed loot bags comprising personalized hard-cover books, crayons, bubbles, candy, musical instruments (thanks R for the tambourine, maracas and flute..), and stickers. For each child. In bags wrapped in candy coloured tissue paper and multi-coloured ribbons. I hope Sash realizes that her only hope of having such well organized parties is if she organizes them herself...










In between the partying..we just stayed cool in air-conditioning, just hanging about. Sash has this need to slather her tummy with lotion so I just open a little hotel sized bottle of lotion and let her entertain herself...for hours.



With the weather as it is, I have had to also slather her in cream..sunscreen.



Unfortunately, I have had to buy her 3 different types of sunscreen as she has had rather bad reactions to 2 types which are supposedly kid suitable. I initially bought her the usual Banana Boat spray on..she broke out in a rash. Her rash continued after I bought a Loreal kid friendly one. I decided to try an organic sunscreen for kids which is Paraben free (thanks Sofie Jane for our chat about organic cosmetics!) made by Jason, which seems to work quite well. I am however waiting for L, my neighbour who is coming back from NYC from a shoot, to pass me one made by California Baby which comes highly recommended and is totally natural. Unfortunately, it is unavailable in Canada (although the rest of the line is) due to some regulatory hurdle. Hopefully this one works. In the meantime, D and I have a range of sunscreens to use ourselves..

Single motherhood

Single motherhood is really difficult. I cannot begin to tell you how my respect for single mums have grown leaps and bounds. Parenting requires patience...single parenting requires the patience of a saint..something I do not have. Sasha has noticed Doug's absence, but as long as I tell her that he is at work, she accepts the absence. I can see her filing away the information in her mind, taking the time to comprehend (as far as any 2 year old is able to comprehend extended absences), but still not really getting it. She is feeling a bit more insecure, evidenced by one specific action at daycare. Usually when I drop her off, she will rush to her friends and I have to call her back so I can give her a kiss. This morning however, just as she was rushing off, she turned to me and asked "Can I have a hug?" It was the cutest thing ever and I gave her a huge hug and told her that I would pick up my bestest big girl at 5pm. Of course I had to get home and give D a call to tell him what happened. Thats another thing about single parenthood..not having someone to share these moments with.

I have been keeping myself more than occupied while Sash is at daycare. Going through pageproofs for another forthcoming article. This has been more challenging than usual because D has my laptop and I am using an old laptop of mine that we keep for Sash to play with. His laptop sort of acted up the night before he was leaving for Beijing and due to flight times etc, he had to take mine with him and I am stuck with an older laptop that is not wireless enabled. Sometimes technology can be such a pain.

I am still waiting for the replacement Dinis. We have one that she uses at daycare so I am resorting to taking that home with us for use on non-daycare days and nights. Surprisingly, she was not overly upset when she was told in Kingston that Dini was in Toronto and that we would have to wait until we got home to see him. In the meantime, she had Arnold (a snoring pig) which suited her fine. Until she saw Dini II at daycare....There was a touch and go moment on the train when she was looking through the pics on the camera and she came across one of her sleeping with Dini on the Toronto-Montreal leg..but we distracted her with a potato chip. I have ordered 2 Dini's as I have discovered that Jellycats is discontinuing the series. Lesson learned...when Dylan finds a comfort item, we shall buy clones/replacements galore. I hope he chooses something like Dini. I have bought him a Jellycat Sheep for him to try out. While these toys are bulky, they have come in handy as pillows on those uncomfortable plane/train rides.

We cannot find Dini

We cannot find Dini. I recall picking him off the bed and chucking him in the stroller as we were leaving the hotel room. Thats the last I remember seeing him. We came back from the waterfront, the playground and Chez Piggy where we had lunch, and as I was searching for him upon Sash's request...well, that'w when I discovered he was no longer with us. We leave for TO tomorrow night, and there is no way we can get one FedExed over from the States to Kinston on time. This is a phenomenal disaster. Sort of like being buggered up shit creek.

We are having trouble putting Sasha to bed, as usual. While we have tried not to stray from the routine of early dinner, walk, bath and brushing teeth, books and then Dodo, our precocious little angel has found a way to have us start catering to her from 8pm to 10pm, or sometimes 11pm when she finally dozes off. We try to get her to eat before 7 because she is meant to be in bed by 9, and as one of her delay tactics is to ask for copious amounts of milk (record so far this past week: 4 bottles), she tends to puke out her dinner ala Nicole Richie if she eats too late. Another delay tactic is to ask for yet another book. She is also aware which books take longer to read, so now Dora is less popular than say Dumbo or Beauty and the Beast. Then after these two books, we have to read a Pirate book. And where there is Pirate, there has to be Fairy. And where there is Fairy...there is Pirate again. You get the idea. By the time we get to her fifth book, we are already making deals, like "OK Sasha, after Goodnight Moon, you have to Dodo. Or else we will not go to the park tomorrow." She will agree then as we near the last page, she will be out of the bed in a shot looking for the next book. Of course we have to be firm, but it is extremely difficult to see your child cry (crocodile tears of course) while holding a favourite Dora book, begging "One more Mummy, please." Seriously, how do you say no to that. So we give in and after an hour we practically threaten to put her under house arrest unless she Dodos. So she will say Buenos Noches, and have her chat with Dini, Diego, Dora, Baby Jaguar and her new stuffed pig that snores (Dont ask..) while she lays in bed. She will of course not fall asleep until 10 or sometimes 11pm. If we are lucky, she will just lay there quietly. If we are unlucky, she will keep on asking for milk, juice...a diaper change...you name it, she will try it. On the bright side though, she is technically in bed by 9. What she does there is another story altogether..

We have finally taken my desk out of Dylan's room and with the help of our neighbour, Doug was able to dismantle it, take it down to the basement and reassemble it again. We had initially thought of selling it, but we really do like the Danish style retro-antique desk. Well, I do anyway. We have also taken down the crib from the loft with the intention of assembling it before leving for Montreal. Unforunately, we have no idea where we stored the screws. So I have called and emailed the manufacturer to request that some new screws be sent, or at least details of the screws used to enable us to get new ones. If they are unable to do so, looks like we will have to get a new crib. Of course the minute we get the new crib home, we will find the screws in the most unlikely place. Story of our lives...

Our neighbour R also helped us drywall a section of a wall that suffered water damage over the winter. D forgot to shut the main valve for the garden tap so of course it burst over the winter. To thank him for his kindness, we had R, L and S (their dot) over for a BBQ dinner. We had great fun, just watching the kids play and fingerpaint, and eating a simple meal of burgers and grilled chicken, corn on the cob and salad. We are planning to take advantage of the beautiful Summer and have more al-fresco meals together, starting this Sunday with a picnic in the park with a few other neighbours. R and L will be supplying the food, while we supply the drinks. D is leaving for China on Sunday afternoon but he will join us for the picnic and leave right after. Sash and I will miss him loads..

As I type this at 10.08pm, I am listening to Sash apologize to Baby Jaguar for something she did over the baby monitor. She has been in bed since 8.30pm....

I have only flown alone with Sash once, to visit GTandD in Singapore. Yesterday was only the second time. It is exponentially more work getting us checked in, thru the security and to the gate, not to mention keeping her entertained during the flight. Luckily it was only a 2.5 hour flight. And she was exceptionally well behaved considering she was woken up at 5am, and her beloved Daddy was nowhere in sight. I decided to forgo the stroller so she stood in line during check in, security checks and walked all by her big girl self to the gate. All in all quite painless. Surprisingly..

My sis-in-law picked us up at the airport and we headed back to granpa's home. Where Sash found waiting for her some books, a Dora DVD, and a pet shop toy thinggy that comprises a pet shop set up, many minute pieces and pet characters, all in a big box...which we will have to lug back of course. Very sweet of granpa...but I am looking at this thing and foreseeing the many times I will painfully step on the little pieces. Sigh...oh, and yes, a big box of Oreos. You just have to love grandparents...Sash sure adores hers..and Tot, if you are reading this, she is still carrying around her bottle of perfume.

The funeral is on Saturday so we are waiting for the rest of the family to trickle in. M, D's eldest bio brother, is driving up from Minneapolis on Friday. With his 3 kids, who are all under 6. Now that feat deserves a medal. Another sister is flying in on Sat morning. It will be a full house, with cousins galore for Sash to play with. A bit like Christmas, but without the need to fork out for presents...We head out to the cottage on Sunday morning to open up for the season. Of course D, Sash and I will not be here to enjoy the rest of the season as we are spending the Summer in TO, but it is nice that we are able to help out with the opening as that, and the closing, is when most of the labour intensive work is carried out. Well, the brothers are doing the work..I have stocked up on magazines and will be in charge of making sandwiches for lunch and defrosting the steaks for dinner. Not too difficult.

Sasha's first Mother's Day present, created with J's help at daycare...



She was well chuffed with her efforts.



Taken on our post-Brunch walk.

On a bright note, we had an excellent Mother's Day yesterday. Although D only realised that it was to be Mothering Sunday on Saturday evening (you gotta love a man who walks by store windows displaying signs touting how appropriate their lingerie, shoes/bags, spa treatments are for Mother's Day every day and not notice), and dragged me to a store immediately only to wait outside while he chose some cards, he carried it off excellently. We had brunch at The Homeway, a local restaurant/diner that I have been meaning to try, and it was delicious. We then walked off the gazillion calories we consumed in the park. We played with Sasha in the backyard, which looks semi decent now, took a nap, and had dinner at Roberto's, another restaurant that I have been meaning to try. Again, it did not disappoint. It is good to be home again, although by tomorrow morning we will be in Winnipeg and will be there for a week. As much as I realise that we have to be there at this time, I dread having to break Sasha's routine yet again. She has only just started sleeping in her own bed again, without us lying down next to her with her bedside lamp on. She has only just started drinking milk again. She is starting to eat proper meals. While her granpa's house is not totally alien to her, it will still take time for her to get comfortable. By Saturday, we will be at the cottage, and then back home on Wednesday. Did I mention that we will be in Montreal and Kingston a week after we get back from Winnipeg, for yet another week in hotel rooms. I wonder sometimes if Sasha really is a resilient kid, or I fool myself into thinking that she is to make myself feel better about this constant upheaval in her life.

On a sadder note, I have been reading about the bloody crimes against humanity carried out by the Myanmarese government against their own people. The UN estimates that the death toll will hit 216,000, higher than the tsunami death toll. Myanmar cites it at 28,548 as of yesterday. Aid is not allowed to be distributed, and whatever is being distributed has names of senior military official plastered over the boxes. Resources are being diverted for the referendum. Everyday, the newspapers here are plastered with pics of dead bodies and helpless children. Calls for donations are being made. However, as everyone is pretty sure that the monies collected will just turn up in the Swiss bank accounts of the scumbags or that the aid distributed will just help their military junta, there is understandable hesitance.

Edward Burke said that all it takes for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing. For God's sake, someone, anyone, do something!! (I can't cause my ObGyn would totally freak out)

Who would have thought...

We received this email from D's aunt in Winnipeg on Sasha's birthday.

Hi! Hope all is well with you. I expect you're getting ready for your trip to Malaysia. It is this coming weekend that you leave, isn't it?

Will you have a little party for Sasha or do they do something at her day care? Hard to believe she's only two. She's so bright and active. Give her a hug and kiss for me.

I think I've spent the last month just waiting for spring. Still lots of snow left - there is about 2 to 3 feet covering the perennial bed in the garden. It's suppoed to get as high as 9C today, but back to -2C tonight and only a high of 0C tomorrow and staying cool to the weekend. Went to a garden centre yesterday with sister, Anne. Just had to see some growing plants and flowers.

I was at Derek and Kristi's for Gordon's birthday. They have a gorgeous home! Gordon didn't look well - He said his hip was giving him a lot of pain (arthritis) and he certainly looked as tho' he was suffering. Poor guy. I think he'll be glad to get to a nice hot climate.

Have a wonderful time in Malaysia.

Love, Aunt Hilda

I had meant to respond but with the birthday arrangements, packing and travelling, I assumed D had done so because he checks his email 1000 times a day on his crackberry. I figured I would get back to her this week with profuse apologies. She is a stupendous lady who totally adores Sash so I figured it she would understand.

We were informed last night, rather late last night, that she passed away on Thursday. Worse still, the neighbours only found her yesterday but it is thought that she may have pased on Thursday. She was sitting on her couch and they only realised something was amiss when her papers were not picked up off her porch. Her only daughter, who lives in Calgary, will be flying in to Winnipeg in the next few days to sort out funeral arrangements. Sash and I will be flying in to Winnipeg on Tuesday morning while D will fly in on Wednesday morning as he is away until Tuesday. We will stay for a week as I think D has come to the realisation that work should not be a priority and that the call could have been regarding another closer member of the family. FIL thinks we should not trouble ourselves by flying back just for the funeral but he doesn't really understand. I feel gutted that I did not respond to her last email with even a one-liner thank you. D recalls not even bothering because it was as he termed "time wasting non work related email" (hence the whole re-prioratisation). Aunt H is, or was, the closest thing I had to a mother in law and she was absolutely, absolutely lovely. And she adored Sasha, always remembering her birthday, even our wedding anniversary. Making sure she had toys to play with whenever we visited her house even for half an hour. She joined us for my birthday dinner last year, and bought me thoughtful presents even on her rather limited pension. Her passing is a surprise to everyone because she was rather dynamic, and while she was 74, her Mum lived to the ripe old age on 94. We are still grappling with accepting that she is no longer around. This has, suffice it to say, a rather bittersweet Mothers Day.

Yea for customer service!

Gosh it has been a busy few days. Got home late Monday after an eternity on the train (where again Via Rail exceeded expectations with early boarding and economy class coaches...steward provided Sash with a blanket and pillow..and confused her by calling her pumpkin a few times...to which she replied.."I not pumkin. I Sasha!"). Took the subway home and stopped by the Sushi resto round the corner for some takeaway. Sash had a grand old time playing with her new found toys so it took us ages to put her to bed. The next morning we woke up rather disoriented, wondering where we were. It felt great being back in familiar surroundings!

Random thoughts about train travel:

I find it disturbing to hear the train whistle going off mid-travel. My initial thoughts: Is the train engineer warning someone off the tracks? Another train maybe? But a split second later I recall D telling me that it is a legal requirement for the engineer to toot the horn/whistle near every crossing. But does this stop me from worrying? Of course not. So during the 7 hour ride from QC to Toronto, I must have freaked out for 35 split seconds in total...

Unlike in planes, people tend to want to chat more. It may just be Canadians, but random strangers from 3 seats away would strike up conversations. Makes you long for the headphones used in planes mainly to avoid conversation with others...

We have spent the last few days running mundane errands like sending off the dry cleaning, stocking up the freezer and fridge, buying more flowers and plants to experiment with, starting a mini herb garden etc. And oh yes, making arrangements for yet another visit to Montreal in a few weeks for a conference. Yup, we are going there again. This time we will need a babysitter for Sash as both D and I will be presenting papers in the same session so I have been contacting the hotel and conference organisers to sort this out and carry out the necessary background checks. We will be driving this time as we need to stop by Kingston on the way back for another conference so at least we don't need to book tickets etc. Did I mention that Spring/Summer is conference season??

Since we arrived home, no less than 5 people, from my trusty neighbours to the check out girl at my local fruits and veggie shop, have encouraged me to take advantage of the Canadian Avent recall of BPA bottles. You see, after being criticized (or shall we say dragged through the mud) by consumers for their position with regards to the use of BPA in bottles, Avent has relented and offered to refund parents for Avent bottles returned to various stores, such as ToysRUs. The extent of their recall is amazing, full refunds even without receipts. So this morning I dug up my Avent bottles, which luckily I had not chucked out, and returned them for a credit of nearly 50 bucks. Full refund, no questions asked. I wonder what Avent will do with these hundreds and thousands of bottles returned throughout Canada (everyone is sending back their bottles!). They will not be introducing BPA free bottles until late Summer while I think (I am not sure whether it is a legal requirement or due to customer demand), Canadian stores are only stocking BPA-free plastic or glass bottles. As I was returning all 8 of my Avent bottles, there were many other parents using their refunds to purchase the BornFree or glass bottles. I wonder how Avent will recover from this? The funny thing is, design wise, I found Avent to be superior to the much more expensive bottles. It is a shame that their brand name is now associated (at least with the Mums that I come in contact with) with dangerous bottles and corporate arrogance. But I suppose the damage will only be contained in Canada as I read somewhere that the UK has only just started publicising this issue. In Malaysia, it seemed like business as normal. Perhaps the Canadian government is paranoid...but I am not one to complain because with the refund, I bought Sash a playset comprising a sandpit/pool with a picnic table and umbrella. I figure that will just about make up for the unnecessary hormones in her body. So if you are in Canada, dig up those bottles...

Quebec

We have been in Quebec for the past few days. We started our second leg of our Spring work/holiday with a train ride from Toronto to Montreal on Wednesday evening. It was my first Canadian train ride, similarly for Sasha. I must add that I am duly impressed. We dragged our luggage, Sasha's backpack and stroller onto the Eglinton subway station and connected with Via Rail at Union. We had booked the tickets online and we were able to get our tickets for both our outgoing and return journey from the ticket office in Union. The ticketing agent advised us to be at the gate 5 minutes before boarding and to request early boarding. We did as we were told but did not have to get hold of anyone to seek early boarding as the ticket master found us and directed us onto the train personally. There was another single mother with her 6 month old baby also boarding early and we chatted about how civilised the process was, in comparison to the early boarding for flights that inevitable turn into a mad rush by airmile card holders and parents with 15 year old kids. We arrived in Montreal close to midnight and headed straight for the Delta hotel, where we were being put up by the meeting organisers, only to be told that they had overbooked and they were going to help us get a room in another hotel. Now, in situations like this I find that you have a choice of either going apeshit, which is totally understandable considering the time and the toddler you have with you, or you can just go with the flow and ask what can be done. We chose the second option and they found us a room at the Ritz-Carlton Montreal, and paid for our room and taxi ride to get there. Alls well that ends well I guess. I do wonder though where the Ritz puts people up when they overbook. The next day we returned to the Delta where they also provided complimentary breakfast and room upgrade for our stay. I am liking this Montreal hospitality. After the meeting, which involved some Ministers and others from the research center, D informed me that Sash and I were invited to the dinner being held at a rather posh resto near the meeting venue. The food was gorgeous, and our daughter behaved beautifully. We were worried at first but hey, they invited us and presumably they would be prepared for a 2 year old and potential behaviour issues. I must say that Sasha does surprise us sometimes.

The next day, we rented a car and drove to Quebec City where D's co-authors live. They had invited us to stay at theirs for the weekend. Initially I was very reluctant because I think I know my mailman ...Rob, or Bob..something with an ob...better than I know JM and C. Also, they do not have kids and I am always weary of putting people out..especially when the kid they will host in their home is still jet lagged. But they were really keen to have us over and D needed to discuss some work with them. Also, I have never been to QC so I figured what the heck. And am I glad that we did come. They have been ever so hospitable and welcoming. They were initially worried that their home is not child friendly and offered to go out and buy some baby gates. You see, they live just outside of QC in a 3 story chalet set in the woods at the bottom of a ski hill, facing a gorgeous lake. It is such an idyllic setting that I cant even begin to describe how beautiful it is. I reassured them that Sasha is well aware of her limitations and that we will watch out for her. And boy does Sasha love the house. The house has a wrap around deck on the third floor where JM and C hang a multitude of bird feeders that inevitable attract all sorts of wild life. Sash has been sitting on the deck all day pointing out the yellow and red birds, the woodpeckers, the squirrels and the rabbit. JM and C are originally from Northern France so we have been having French style meals, such as steamed lobster, steaks and salads served ever so simply with bread, but with a rustic style that is just so sincere. We visited Old QC yesterday and I honestly feel like I should be using Euros instead of the Canadian dollar. I have heard that Montreal is very European, but I find QC to be even more so. I now totally understand the separatist movement as I keep having to remind myself that I am in Canada. Toronto seems a continent away.

After a weekend of visiting hitorical sites, hiking, and eating, we head back home tomorrow morning. We are taking the train as the 8 hour drive would have been just too tiring. Although it will take longer by train, D and I are both in agreement that we don't really enjoy road trips by car and we much prefer to spend the equivalent hours seated in a train with WiFI access. I cant wait to get home to my own bed. On Tuesday, we start getting Sasha back into her old routine..wish us luck.