Old friends

I had a dream last night about an old friend. J was a good friend during those A-level and Uni days. We were not in the same A-Level class (he is smarter) and we did not attend the same University (as I said, he is smarter). He was in London and I in Liverpool. But it was always his place that I would bunk in during those breaks in London. It was always his roommates I would trounce at Risk (never fall for the I'm a girl and how do I play this game act). Heck we would sleep on the same bed. We would fly back home together for Summer holidays. We were good buddies. Then we sort of lost touch when we both started working. We saw each other maybe once, twice a year. I think I last saw him 2 years ago at a wedding, where I saw his wifey for the first time. She was pretty and nice, and I was really happy for him. So why did I dream about him last night? It was a strange dream. We were having coffee/tea (not sure) at a dining table, in a nice sunny room. I say *a dining table* as it is not my dining table. Never owned one. And we talked. About what I don't know as at the same time in my dream I was thinking why on earth am I having this dream? I hope this is not one of those, you know, he visited me before ....sort of dreams. (Did I mention that I am very morbid?).

So anyway this morning, I got to thinking about all those friends that I have lost touch with. You know the first *best friends* in kindergarten...then the few best friends in primary school...and the list goes on. I moved around a bit as a kid (and funnily enough still moving) so I could never one of those people I envy who still have friends they have known since playschool. Heck, in my secondary school, most of the girls'mothers shared the same Obstetrician. I still think most of them shared the same floor on that maternity ward. But I digress.

Am I a bad friend? Yes, I do have some mucho mucho good friends who I love as much as I love my siblings (I have quite a few blood/real siblings and siblings once/twice removed). But I also have friends I take foregranted, I think about keeping up with but don't, and worse still, even avoid. Am I trying to spread myself too thin and should just concentrate on the ones I would gladly donate a kidney to? I have no problems with calling a stranger a friend within hours of meeting and chatting. As they say, a stranger is just family you have yet to meet. I suppose I am able to differentiate in the many many storage cabinets of my mind the different categories of friendship. But my friends may not see it my way and would expect me, a friend, do be more like what they would expect from a friend. Like J...should I have made more of an effort to catch up with him after work, to have a teh tarik instead of heading straight out to Modestos Damansara Heights for pre-dinner drinks (ah, fond memories). Am I a bad friend?