They grow so very fast..

It is about that time to start planning Sasha's birthday party. Her 3rd. Her first comprised us and 2 other couples toasting our successfully keeping her alive for 365 days with 3 bottles of champers. Her second party was a bit more lively with the neighbours sharing a brunch. Her third will be different in that it is now more difficult to entertain a bunch of nearly-threes in our teeny-tiny home, so we are splitting the difference. The plan is to entertain the kids at Sasha's gymnastics studio for a couple of hours on Saturday evening (Booked in December for April party). As the party will end at 6pm, it really wouldnt be fair to have the 4 or 5 sets of parents agonize over dinner plans so we are thinking an after party at ours...a quick dose of sushi and wine...then off to bed for the hopefully knackered kids. Beauty is that the after party will probably only be an hour as most of the kids here sleep at 7pm..and we can get the sushi delivered so no real effort on our parts, except to enjoy Sasha's special day. But as they say, the best laid plans...The only problem is that she has requested a dinosaur/Nemo theme. I just know that if I start preparations this early, she will want to have a Princess themed party oh say, 3 hours before her party. But too late, and I will not be able to get a baker to sort out a co-mingling of dinos and fish on a cake, which also has to be nut-free (but not kosher as birthday is on the sabbath anyway) and gluten free. Decisions, decisions...

May the force be with him

I was just going through some pics to upload on Facebook when I realized that I should upload a couple here. These pictures were taken at Dylan's cukur jambul held at my aunts house in PJ (a suburb of KL). It was joint cukur jambul with her granddaughter, my cousin's daughter, Eva Zahara. I figured it was to be a small affair as they were both second kids. Did not factor in his Grandma being in charge of the guest list.



The upside was that we were able to catch up with practically half the family in one afternoon, which was good as we flew to Phuket a couple of days after. So Dylan was able to say a warm hello to his great-grandma..





Get a brief light saber lesson from his ever helpful Uncle...he is a Jedi after all..



Get his first trim..I mean , when else will your barber use solid gold scissors..



Play with Tot..



Most importantly, the sibblings were all there to celebrate with Dylan.

Why we do what we do

You may be wondering why I am so morbidly obsessed with squaring things off for my kids. Well, as they say, blame it on my childhood. My Mummy died when I was 12 and my bio-brother 10. She had a will drafted on her deathbed appointing our guardians (she didn't want us to live with our father...whole nother story altogether) and specifying that all assets be distributed as per Shariah law ie 2/3 for my brother and 1/3 for me. To make up for the inequality, all her jewelry and that she inherited from her grandmother and mother would be given to me. She died a couple of days after signing the will. To give you an idea of the problems we were to face later, my brother and I, who held vigil at her bed, were instructed by my father and my Mummy's friends to never leave her alone as they suspected that her sisters and their kids and other relatives would draft a "will" of their own and have my mother place a thumbprint. We made sure that my mother was not left alone and luckily there was only one will that was used to salvage whatever assets possible and more importantly to ensure that we would not be forced to live with my mother's relatives. My father had no problem with not getting a share as some father's may have had. He loved us, and still does, but he had his own issues to deal with. The jewelry that Mummy had the foresight to place in safekeeping with my appointed guardians I still have and wear today. The jewelry that was handed down to her by her grandmother and mother was kept for safekeeping with her sister. I have no idea what happened to them. Some jewelry that she had bought specifically for me before she died, that I can remember, like a set of Mikimoto pearl earrings, an Italian tri-coloured gold bracelet and necklace, my aunt kept while Mummy was in the hospital. I recall seeing my cousin wear them right after Mummy's death. I was 12. Raised to respect my elders. I held my tongue. I hope that bitch rots in hell. Most of Mummy's assets were land-based. Her parents were rather well off land owners in Perak, a fertile state. Unfortunately, alot of the lands had not had title transferred as her sister dealt with all those mundane issues..Mummy just collected her monthly/annual rents. When she died, I was asked to open an account so that rent monies could be transferred directly. Suffice it to say, the account was left idle. I do remember being asked to go back once to Perak to visit the family, and against my father's advice, I went. The visit mainly consisted of they family bitching about my father and asking me to take some money out from the account to pay for prayers for my Mummy at her grave..a couple of thousand dollars...so much for doing it for brownie points. It was at that bank that I decided that my mother's family could fuck off and die. I was 15..young, but not freaking stupid. But still, I held my tongue.

I didn't have anything to do with them until my brother came of age and he wanted to get things sorted out. He was more keen to meet up with the family etc. I went along with it because I felt he needed to figure out his relationship with them in his own way. My father again told us to just cut our losses. My bro was surprised that after all these years, we had not received any rental monies, and none of the taxes on the lands had been paid. He began to come to the realisation that we had been buggered all those years. So he and I decided to try and get as much as we could liquidated and write off the whole branch of our family tree. The first deal involved selling off a small piece of land somewhere in the state for 300 grand. We figured if things went well we would just continue to sell everything and not have to see the family again. Well, things didn't turn out that way. Mummy's sister brokered the deal as she needed the money. Bro was by then living overseas so I had power of attorney and dealt with my Aunt's attorneys. We were surprised at the amount we received as we were expecting a tad more. So when I went to the lawyer's office to pick up the cheque I asked why this was so. Apparently, my aunt charged us 30 grand for expenses. 5 grand for hotels and 1 grand in taxi fares. Mind you, although she lives in KL, the land is in the freaking boonies so she would have been hard pressed to get a presidential suite for that amount. The lawyer mentioned that the expenses were incurred in Penang..a small island where her daughter, my cousin lives. 1 grand in taxi fares?? The lawyer just shrugged and said that Datin (yup, my bloody aunt had a title)specified the expenses. The only saving grace was that she screwed other members of the family too. And then, get this, as I was freaking boiling, the lawyer had the audacity to ask if I could introduce her to my father Datuk J just in case he needed a lawyer for his deals. She then went on to discuss a few other pieces of land that my aunt wanted to sell. I fuckin lost it, just lost it, at that stage. I smiled, and told her that it was extremely unlikely that my father would want to meet her because he absolutely and unequivocally detests my aunt and every other member of my Mummy's family. So therefore, by relation, he would pretty much hate her too. She looked surprised and then asked why my father would feel that way. I pointed out that my aunt just screwed us around for this one deal, and imagine what she has been doing to us all those years. So no, in answer to her question, we will not deal with any member of the family for any future sales and she can tell my aunt that as far as were were concerned, the family is dead to us. I walked out then and my brother and I, to this day, have refused to have anything to do with them. I felt so good about finally saying something that I gave my bro the whole amount. As my father said later, its better to leave the land to the monkeys than to be treated like a monkey.

On Monday, the same day that we had 80 cupcakes delivered in the form of a 4 foot tiered arrangement to my Father-in-law's office for his birthday, we met with our lawyer to finalize our wills. Hopefully we will also one day receive an abundance of baked good on our 80th birthdays from our kids, but just in case, we had to make arrangements.

We learned so much from L. First, we had to make sure that we had named beneficiaries for all insurance policies, pension policies and other investment accounts. If not, the monies will be given to the estate first and probate taxes charged on top of usual taxes. We also had to name the kids as alternate beneficiaries. We need not identify personal items to be disbursed in the will, but instead all such wishes be listed in a Letter of Wishes which shall be signed and witnessed and attached to the will. We had to also draft a living will in the event both of us are incapacitated and needed an adult to make health decisions or decide to pull the plug so to speak. We also needed to give power of attorneys to our executors to handle our funds when we are incapacitated. Good idea to not have the same person or persons with both living will and asset power of attorneys...duh. We had identified the guardians, executors and health decider, but we had not thought of alternates for such people in the event something happens to them. It was actually kind of difficult to think of people who we knew would do these things for us. We were also told to attach to the will summary documentation about all assets and investments. According to L, while we were thinking of dying in a plane crash, it is more probable that we will die in a house fire and as such all our documentation will be destroyed so to be safe, copies must be kept with the lawyers. We were also asked what would happen if all 4 of us perished together. We have decided to have our executors use the estate to set up a scholarship fund, if possible, at Cambridge University in Sasha and Dylan's name. That is where D and I met, and it would be a legacy that Sash and Din Din would be proud off.

D is in Amsterdam for a few days so I am a single mum again. I think I shall take this opportunity to try and get Dylan to sleep through the night. Good luck to me.

Lots of crafts

The Lion is roaring before the Lamb so we have been staying in with craft sessions galore. So far we have painted a tea set.







Lots of painting...



Drawing...





and just basic clowning around.









Spring where the hell are you???

The potty training is going surprisingly well (Famous last words). Sasha has not had an accident today, although I have her going to the potty every 30 minutes (as per J's instructions). Amazing what a bit of bribery can achieve. So for each potty she can either have a sticker, a lollipop of have one of her finger nails polished with either sparkly purple or strawberry nail polish. So far today she has opted for one nail being polished, a few stickers and a lollipop. The only problem is that I painted her middle finger on her right hand so when we were on the way to the hairdresser this afternoon, she kept flicking everyone we met along the way. My neigbours find it hilarious that Sash is giving them the bird.

I dont get it. D will without a blink of an eye give me a kidney or even half a liver, but God forbid that I use his razor to shave my armpits.

Believe it or not, in the last 6 months, D has only been on his own with Dylan a couple of times, and only for a few hours at that. Last Sunday was the first time he had the opportunity to watch the 2 kids at night and on Monday he was in charge of the kids until well over 6pm. We were in a town an hour away from TO so we spent the two days at a hotel. I had to give a seminar on Monday and so on Sunday I was taken out for dinner. We fed the kids before I left for my dinner appointment so D only had to feed himself during his dinner. Even then, the look of absolute relief on his face when I walked in the hotel room made me think that he definitely now has an idea of what I go through when he is at work. The next day my day started early and I finished meeting with students after 6pm so I was curious what the Unit had been up to all day. I arrived back at the hotel and was rather impressed with how D had handled the kids, considering he has only fed Dylan his solids once in his lifetime (I must add that D is a fabulous dad and is more often than not the one who wakes up for night feedings (the benefits of insomnia)...it is just the feeding of solid food that he has not had a chance to practice). Sash ran to me and told me all about her day..the museum being closed, the big girl slide she tried, the ice cream sundae with Smarties Daddy bought...she obviously had fun. D looked absolutely knackered. He was honest and told me that he would not have been able to survive without the hotel staff. They were so impressed that he was taking over babysitting that they helped him feed Dylan, helped Sash coulour during meal times, and even watched the kids while he went to the gents. I am thinking that they would never do this for me. His first question. How do you go potty with the kids? My answer. I dont.

I took Dylan for his 6 month check-up and shots. I opted to pay for his Hepatitis B shots and not wait for them to be provided free..which will be when Dylan is 13 I think. Pretty sure it is covered by D's insurance anyway. Dr F wants me to incorporate beef, lamb and chicken into his diet. I am thinking of whizzing poached chicken with baby spinach. Hopefully Dylan will find that agreeable.

I have 8 papers to review by 4 March. Busy, busy, busy.

Dylan Jedi is 6 months old

As I always say, the days are endless but the weeks fly by so fast. So very fast. Soon my little man will be crawling, walking, talking/talking back. So very fast

Crafty presents

Sasha and a couple of her buddies made their Daddies Valentines pressies. Sasha was really excited to present her present to her Daddy, although I am quite certain that it was the chocolates we wrapped along with the present that she was more excited to see. Along with the presents, Daddy received cards "signed" by the kids. I usually paint Sasha's hand and get her to stamp her "signature" on her cards. I figure it will be interesting to look at these cards 20 years from now and see how small their hands were once upon a time. For Dylan, I just traced an outline of his itty-bitty hand onto his card to Daddy.







Even Dylan seemed excited about the chocs.

J is back..

J is back and not a moment too soon. She is tanned as hell, although rather unimpressed with her first cruise. It was windy and Miami was rather cold. But she is glad to have experienced the Bahamas while we were all back here enjoying our snow.

With Sash back in her capable hands I am able to run all my errands, buy some gifts for a couple of newborns, mail them off and do some shopping for myself. I have been meaning to get a pair of jeans. Comfortable, cheap and cheerful jeans. When absolutely necessary I have been squeezing myself in the Sevens I bought just before, or probably during, my pregnancy with Dylan. I remember being very confused as the alteration seamstress was complaining about the fit as I was trying on my just altered jeans and my thinking she did a crap job. I was thinking "measure twice cut once dufus". A pregnancy test answered that question. I apologised to her telepathically. I still need to lose 10 pounds to fit into my Sevens comfortably so I figured I might as well put an end to the suffering and just head to Gap. One can only be seen in yoga pants so many times. With coupon for 20% off in hand, I left Dylan with D and went a-shoppin. Found a decent pair that still needs to be washed (as not pre-shrunk) before being sent to same alteration lady (hope she doesnt remember me). Now to look for a pair of black trousers....

During Dylan's nap I whizzed up some baby food. A weeks supply of avocado cubes, apple cubes, banana/blueberry cubes and sweet potato cubes. I find that he prefers his food with a touch of apple sauce (must be my sweet tooth) so extra apple cubes for him. He hates broccoli but loves avocado, again with a touch of apple sweetness. I cannot wait for Summer when I can try to add some peach and other summer fruits into his diet.

Day 7 and counting

One week to go. Of course thats when the sun will come out. It has been a rather warm, but rainy day so we are running riot at home. We have been finding ways to entertain ourselves though. Sasha is playing princess with Dylan. He is not too keen but as he cant escape her he is for today, Princess Dylan. We have had better days though.

Built a snowman on Sunday. That killed an hour.



Last Monday we thought to check out the AGO, finally. On the way there we stopped for some Sushi and Tempura. Good thing we did because the AGO is closed on Mondays. Lesson learned. Check opening times and never assume anything. It was fairly warm, as in -2 I think, so we walked off our lunch by walking to the ROM. Sasha was thrilled because she was able to visit her beloved Triceratops and Princess puppets. Yesterday, after her gymnastics, I told Sasha she could have a couple of friends over for crafts. So all 6 of us worked together to make 3 picture frames for the Daddies as Valentines presents. I took pic of the kids making their presents to be placed in the frames.









Now to teach her how to keep a secret...

Day 3

Have loads to do today. Doing the week's laundry and also the bedding. I dont see the need to have multiple sets of bedding as I dont see the point of spending good money on "spare" sheets when you can utilise that amount on a really, really good set of bedding for yourself (you do spend a huge portion of your life in bed and triple digit threadcounts can be addictive). Quite easy to and just wash, dry and remake bed. After all, it only takes a couple of hours to wash the bedding. I do of course have an extra set for the guest futon but for all intents and purposes, we have been using and reusing the same bedding for years. The same goes for Sasha's bed. Am doing this while Dylan is napping and Sasha is playing in the basement. A bit of vacuuming and when Dylan wakes up we are off to the shops to shop for tomorrows brunch. Having D's colleague over with their 2 year old daughter. Must find vegetarian sausages as am not sure of their dietary restrictions. Then usual lunch routine, play/read/play/change diaper, dinner, etc. Time flies.

Day 2

Sasha having breakfast with Dora

We were planning to check out the newly refurbished Art Gallery of Ontario but unfortunately D had to be downtown this afternoon. I could have gone without him but I figured it would be nice to check out the fresh new gallery together. Maybe next week. I took the kids to the ROM instead. I needed to renew our membership anyway. We go to the ROM at least 3 times a year so the membership makes sense. We also have the type that allows us to take in 2 guests which helps when out of town friends visit. Sometimes when you are on a budget a $40 museum entrance fee is hard to justify.

At the ROM, we of course had to take in the dinosaur exhibits first. While balancing..



Without fail Sash is always amazed at how large Dini really is...or was.



Then we have to do some excavating...



After lunch, we spend some time in the children's area playing dress up. Usually this is when the nannies take their charges to the museum so playmates aplenty..



I must say everytime I am at the ROM I wonder why we dont go there more often. It is only 5 subway stops away and a short walk on the best shopping strip in TO..so while I push my stroller I can gawk at the Chanel, Prada, and Tiffany window displays.
The beauty of it is that with 2 kids in tow it is impossible to shop so look is all I can do. I always tell myself that I should take Sash there more often. But I dont. But I must. After all, I have technically paid for 3 visits in advance.

Day 1 and counting

In view of both little terrors being home, D decided to work at the library instead of driving to work. Taking inspiration from Milla, I also dragged the two terrors to the library. We really havent been taking full advantage of the nearby library facilities. We have 2 equally well stocked libraries a few blocks south and north of us, and we have the library cards, but have we been going? No. I suppose we tend to just buy books for Sash (and now Dylan) as we do tend to read them over and over (and over and over) again. But hey, it was an outing right. So we spent an hour in the childrens section reading a bunch of princess and ballerina related books. While Sash looked out for more books to read (she didnt really get the concept apparently as she later asked where we had to pay for the books) I tried to read a bunch of easy "teach your child Math" books. I have decided that instead of forcing her to learn how to add/subtract or read by age 4, I will, by my little ole self, try and build a solid foundation of enjoyment in learning (much easier). Will leave the actual teaching to the experts, the teachers in her kindergarten. But I do want her to sort of absorb certain mathematical concepts and to understand that letters are not just letters but there is a connection phonetically. I know they do this in certain pre-schools (90% of her friends go to pre-school, and she really only has 10 friends) and we had toyed with the idea of sending her to pre-school on her days off from daycare, but we finally decided against it. Although pre-school is only 2 hours a day, and she would only be going twice a week, that would leave her no time for her gymnastics and ballet in the fall. To see the joy in her eyes and the sense of achievement as she swings off balance bars and does somersaults (it was twicky Mummy but Bella helped me but I bonked my head but I'm OK) is, to me, much more of a life experience than reading by the age of four. Of course I will probably regret my decision when she is voted class clown/dunce in kindergarten, but hell, if our experiment doesnt work we can always try again with Dylan. If we fail with the heir, we have the spare.

I wonder where J is? Probably sunning herself on some deck...sigh.

A few months ago J mentioned that her 40th birthday is in February and her family intended on sending her on a Caribbean cruise for 10 days as a birthday present. That meant that she would not be working for approximately 2 weeks. I was happy for her and put our conversation out of my mind. I am an excellent denialist. So although it wasnt a surprise, D and I had an Oh Shit moment when we were reminded that Sash would not be going to daycare tomorrow or the next week even. She will be home all day every day until the 18th. D is lying down with a sudden migraine and I have just poured myself a huge ass glass of wine. What on earth are we going to do? Lets see..the newly opened Art Gallery of Ontario, the ROM, a couple of playdates...I can do this...I can do this.

Randomness

If I could, I would Americano-me intravenously all day. Am that knackered. Last night, after putting Sash to bed at 9pm, D and I fell asleep in her bed. Usually I tend to do this (sometimes even before she does) but last night D didnt have that much work to do so he read Sash a couple of Princess themed books (her new passion). I discovered then that he has renamed all the Prince Charmings Prince Doug. I laughed so hard I nearly fell of the bed. No bloody wonder she has been calling the princes Doug. I figured it was a adoring daughter trait, not one imposed by Daddy. So around 11pm I woke up and instead of crawling over to my own bed as I tend to do, I decided to see what D was up to in the basement. I found him eating a bowl of Fruit Loops while checking email and watching CSI: NY. I joined him with a glass of wine and we stayed up chatting until 2am. Just as we were about to doze off Dylan woke up for what we thought was his usual feed. Unfortunately he didnt want his milk. He just wanted to cuddle and doze off with his mobile on. He did this on the hour every hour until 6am. He finally took a bottle at 6 and slept until 9am. The thing is for the past few days I have been trying to get him off his 3am feeding by giving him water instead of milk, as per the pediatrician's suggestion. By taking out the 3am feeding, we can then proceed to take out his midnight feeding and that will enable him to sleep from 8pm to about 6am. He had been doing well until last night. Although technically he did go without milk last night. So, which is the lesser of 2 evils? Midnight and 3am feedings, or waking up every hour but no feedings. Hmmm....must call the pediatrician. Will give it a few days though..so far Dylan has been doing well with routine (soooo unlike Sasha)...will keep on trying with the water. Some neighbours suggest that we Ferberize him but luckily for me my ped is in total agreement that the Cry-it-out method is not an option. I know that it has worked wonders for many others but I am more inclined to agree with the Australian and Harvard research re co-relation with nervousness and stress disorders. I am seriously relieved to hear that my pediatrician concurs as I thinsk I would have just caved in and tried it out but for his insistence that we dont even think about it. I dont think I could listen to him scream all night, even if it does only take a few nights.

Yesterday evening I decided to channel my inner-Martha and make homemade babyfood. Baked a couple of sweet potatoes, took out the blender, bunged a couple of bananas and a punnet of blueberries to make banana/blueberry mash for breakfast, and sweet potato mash for lunch and dinner. Froze the mixtures in 3 ice-cube trays and voila, a weeks worth of microwavable meals for the boy. It took more time to wash the ice cube trays than to whip up the food. I wondered why I never made such cubes for Sash and then I realised that when she was a baby we were living in suburban NY and we went grocery shopping once every couple of weeks so we didnt bother much with fresh produce as it would just go bad. Here I can just pop round the corner to get organic produce. Also organic baby food is so easily accessible that it would be silly to not take advantage of its availability. Funny how while I am much more relaxed with raising Dylan with it being the second time around, I am able to be more fussy with certain aspects like his food. Do I feel bad that he is eating organic while Sash ate god knows what? Yes I do. But then she hardly ate anyway so I dont feel that bad.

This morning while I was feeding Dylan Sash came up to us and asked me if Dylan vomited. I told her no, its just that he is such a messy eater that it just looks like he vomited all over himself, the high chair and me.

Finally...what do you do if your son insists on taking a poo during each meal. Do you interrupt his meal to change his diaper or just continue feeding him as he grunts away?

The local kitchen ware shop is having a sale. I went in there to get a pepper grinder and left with this espresso maker. Too good a deal to pass up. And we are loving it. Loving it I tell you. We used to wake up and look forward to seeing the kiddies. Now it is to say good morning to the new member of the family. It is just so easy to use. Just press a button and the beans are grinded and espresso and water mixed. I like milk in my Americano so I have to take the extra step of frothing my milk. I have no idea how I have lived this long without one of these to greet me every morning. Alas Starbucks, you are history.

Ordering in..

I may have mentioned that with the not-so-new baby, my workload hasn't doubled. It has increased exponentially. There isnt enough time for anything other than child rearing. AND Sash is in day care 3 days a week. I am not too fussed about the extra load of laundry every week (another reason to be grateful for non-9-to-5 jobs, waaaay less ironing of dress shirts), or the extra toys to pick up. Its the time spent feeding, putting to bed, playing, reading, poop cleaning etc/repeat for BOTH. Something has to give. I have decided that it is to be meals. D is the most easy going person ever and is quite happy to eat Korean instant noodles for lunch and grilled meat and a side for dinner every night. I, however, quite enjoy my food. Now, the chances of me learning to cook yummy interesting healthy dishes ready in 15 minutes is rather slim. So I have decided to try this new service where a very nice lady who cooks, well, cooks and freezes the meals and delivers them to my door. For the same price as pre-cooked frozen meals bought at the supermarket, or even getting the ingredients myself and spending precious minutes over a hot stove, I can get food made to order delivered to my door. Brilliant non? All I have to do is go online to her website, order my Sheppard's pie, Moroccan burgers, mushroom risotto, carrot and ginger soup etc, and I pay upon delivery. Delivery is free when I order more than 100 bucks worth of food and that's basically a weeks supply anyway (the downside of non-9-to-5 jobs...lunch is also eaten at home), which is also approximately what we spend on ingredients (the downside of marrying a mat salleh, more protein based meals than carbo rich ones). I will of course not eat these ready made meals every day because it is quite easy for me to whip up a salad, bake some potatoes and grill steak/fish/chicken or bung some meat in my all time fave Brahim instant curry mix. These meals are just for those days when a change is needed, a sort of pick me up for dinner. I am waiting for my first delivery, and have bought a deck of Go Fish cards in anticipation. While my meal defrosts in the oven D plans to teach Sash and I a few card games. I only know Blackjack and Gin Rummy so the lessons should be fun.